Moving Forward
by TwinkleFae
Summary: Weeks before the wedding Bella remembers something startling about her past. "I dreamed of hall lights and unfamiliar faces, darkness and feeling small and helpless" Possible triggers.
1. What Alice Saw

**Moving Forward:**

**What Alice Saw (APOV)**

I sat in front of my computer, reviewing emails from the designer of the fashion line I'm starting. It may drive people crazy, but fashion and clothing design are an enjoyable hobby. It's constantly changing -an advantage, from my point of view - and the point is not to be wearing what's fashionable now, but to be wearing what will be fashionable next, which appeals to me, since so much of my life is spent looking at the future. It's a fun creative outlet for me. One of the problems with living forever and not sleeping is finding interesting ways to pass the time.

I had just opened a photo of the designers latest creation (a blue, off the shoulder tea length dress) when a quick vision obscured my view of the screen. It was Bella, in her room and she was very upset. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her shoulders heaved as though she were sobbing. I frowned. As was so often the case with non-vampires, the vision was cloudy, and the sound muted. It sound like she was saying "Why didn't she tell me?" but I couldn't be sure. I tried to focus on the alarm clock next to the bed. Odd. The clock said '3:30'. The room was fully dark, so it must be 3:30am.

Why on earth would Bella be awake in the middle of then night? I thought most humans slept all night? Bella certainly had on other nights when we'd had "sleep"overs together. Edward was in the room with her, sitting on her bed. is face was still and expressionless, giving me no clue as to what was happening. I thought about it for minute and realized that if his face was expressionless while he was with Bella, it probably wasn't good, but could be caused by anything. Edward was prone to over reaction, after all.

I tried to scan Bella's immediate future for a hint, and got nothing. Sleeping, eating and all the usual boring human stuff. The only break in the routine was that she was coming over for a visit tomorrow night. I stopped looking there. While I knew in theory that Edward and Bella were "practicing" before the wedding night, it wasn't something that I wanted to see. When I checked Edward's future I got a little hint. It was earlier the same night, judging by Edward's clothes and Bella's pyjamas. She was asleep in this vision, but was moving around mumbling and Edward was hovering over her indecisively. I knew that Bella talked in her sleep, but this was different. She looked sad, and scared. In the vision, Bella's eyes snapped open and Edward said something about a dream.

A dream! I'd forgotten about those. Not being able to remember my human life was a disadvantage when it came to Bella. _If my human life would have been any help, it wasn't normal either _mumbled a tiny voice in my head. I pushed it aside and got back to my visions. If it was a dream, maybe it was normal for Bella to be awake then? I thought about it for a minute, and got no answer. Deciding that I wouldn't get anything else tonight, I returned to my designs. If it was important, I'd get another vision. If it wasn't, then there was no reason to upset my over reactive brother.

*******

I saw nothing else about Bella until just before she arrived the next evening, and then it was just a vision of her truck struggling up the long driveway.

"_Edward,_" I thought, "_Bella will be here in two minutes and twenty-five seconds._" I was pretty sure he'd be listening. Sure enough he came straight downstairs just as the rumbling of Bella's disgusting noisy old truck came into our earshot. Edward sighed deeply at the sound, and a vision of him begging (again) to buy Bella a new car flashed before my eyes. Not surprisingly, stubborn Bella refused. Edward, who'd obviously watched with me, sighed again.

"Did you honestly expect anything else?" I asked, curious.

"No," he said morosely, "she loves that truck like a sibling. And Rose, you know she'll suspect us if anything happened to it." He turned towards Rosalie, who was sitting on the couch, flipping through a magazine. Rose shrugged.

"Let me know if you change your mind. You know I could do it so that she could take it to mechanic afterwards, and no one would suspect."

"I know Rose," Edward said, "It just doesn't seem right to lie to her like that."

Rosalie snorted. We'd had this argument before. Rose had a lot of respect for classic vehicles, but from her point of view it was foolish for Edward to expend so much effort to keep Bella alive, and then let her drive around without modern safety features. In theory I agree with her, but knew better than she did just how stubborn Bella could be. But then, Rosalie was very stubborn too.... I scanned the future quickly to see what the outcome would be if Rosalie got Bella a new car, but it just made Bella mad and resentful. She really did love that truck.

Emmett had obviously heard the truck coming up the drive, and ran out to meet Bella before Edward could "steal" her and take her upstairs. "Bella!" he yelled as he grabbed her out of the truck and into a massive bear hug. Rose snorted again. "One of these days he's going to figure out that she's not a toy for his amusement and it's going to be a big shock for him."

"You mean like the first time she beats him at arm wrestling?" Jasper came up behind me and put his arms around my waist. "I'd say the same thing about you, but I think you are too devious to understand that Bella isn't just your new toy."

I gave a fake pout. "I know that Bella is her own person, I just don't understand why she feels the need to dress like a hobo sometimes."

Jasper laughed. "Do people still say "hobo?" he asked seriously.

I was going to stick my tongue out him but was distracted by Carlisle and Esme. "We're heading out to hunt. Enjoy your evening!" Carlisle grabbed Esme's hand, and they opened the door. Emmett was still holding Bella in a bear hug with her feet dangling.

We all heard him ask, "So have you managed to deflower my little brother yet?" Bella blushed beet red, and Edward scowled, but did not launch himself at Emmett. I laughed as I realized that Emmett was using Bella as a shield to protect himself from Edward.

"Emmett, let her go," Esme scolded gently.

"What?" Emmett pretended to be oblivious to Bella's embarrassment, but he let her go.

As soon as Bella's feet hit the ground Edward grabbed her by the hand and they took off upstairs. Seconds later I heard Edward's fancy stereo come on and knew we'd seen the last of them for awhile. Emmett headed back inside, and Jasper followed. There was a game on tonight that they wanted to watch. I went with, thinking that I'd rather sit with Jasper and watch a boring sports game then do anything else. Plus it's fun to tease Emmett with hints about the results of the game...

While I was sitting there, I pulled out the binder I've been using to keep all the details for the wedding straight. I took a moment to admire how nicely all the colours matched and looked forward to see how beautifully the tables would look.

"Proud of yourself are you?" Jasper whispered in my ear.

"And what if I am?" I grinned before kissing him.

We'd been watching the silly game for about half an hour when Emmett whistled. "Sounds like it's game time upstairs." Without even looking up, Rosalie smacked the back of his head.

"Shut up, ass."

Now that he'd called my attention to it, I could hear it too... under the music which Edward had turned up- the sounds of people getting intimate. Jasper smiled. "Yeah, because Edward has never had to listen to Emmett making God knows what kind of noises in a "personal moment"."

Emmett frowned. He didn't like Rose telling him off. "Shut up Jasper."

"Gonna make me?"

I decided it was time to intervene. My inner vision was telling me that if I didn't the boys were going to break the coffee table... again. "Video game challenges only Jasper. You know what Esme said the last time you two broke the coffee table..."

Jasper opened his mouth but before he was able to answer we all heard a shriek coming from Edward's room. Everyone got up to go and see what was wrong, while I quickly ran through Bella's available futures.

"Stop! Everyone, stop." They did. Thank goodness they all trust my sight so much. It's much easier to explain when I don't have to convince them to listen first "Edward's got it under control. Come and sit back down." Again, I was dealing with cloudy visions, but it was crystal clear that if we all trooped upstairs the only thing that would happen was that Bella would be hideously embarrassed. I wondered what was going on, but all I saw was Bella and Edward coming down to watch a movie.

"We're all going to watch a movie, so sit down and get comfortable." Edward and Bella came down the stairs as I stood to pick a DVD.

******

It wasn't until later, after Edward had taken Bella home, and after a "personal moment" of my own with Jasper that the vision hit. It was the missing piece of the visions that I'd seen yesterday, suddenly clear as day. I was horrified by what I saw. I couldn't believe it.

"Alice. Alice!" Jasper... calling my name.

"Oh, it's horrible Jasper." I wailed.

"What do you see?"

"Bella."

"What's happening?"

"She's so upset."

"Why is she upset?"

"She's had a memory...."

"When will she have the memory?"

My eyes cleared and I looked at the clock. "It's too late... it'll start soon."

There was nothing else I could do. Jasper held me tight and I took a deep breath as an artificial calm washed over me. All I could do was wait, and be there for Bella later.

**I'm about halfway done writing this, and there should be about 7 chapters, so the next one should be up soon! Thanks!**


	2. What Bella Remembered

**Here it is! Chapter two, and all will be revealed. Major angst people! **

**What Bella Remembered  
**

BPOV

Edward was kissing me. It felt like an electric pulse was running up and down my skin, with his cool white hands. Unfortunately we weren't alone in the Cullen House, so I pulled away before I got carried away enough to be noisy.

"Bella?" Edward smiled, "Are you all right?"

"Yeah.... it's just hard to get used to the idea of a houseful of people with super sensitive hearing..." I blushed beet red. Edward laughed.

"They don't want to hear us, love. They'll do their best to ignore it."

"I know, but still."

"I'll make sure you don't get too loud...." he chuckled evilly.

I blushed again, but moved in closer. As Edward's lips met mine my heart sped up. I reveled in the feeling of his hands on my waist. Edward had been surprisingly reasonable when I had pointed out that if control on our honeymoon was his goal, than it would be a good idea to get a little practice in first. Like moving beyond kissing. Practice makes perfect after all.

His hands slid up towards my breasts and I bit my lip, letting out a low moan. Edward smiled and flicked my nipple, playing with it and I choked back a cry of pleasure. I moaned again as one of his hands slid down my stomach and cupped between my legs. My heart sped and I sucked in air to let out a small scream when Edward clapped his hand gently over my mouth.

Suddenly I felt like I was somewhere else. All the pleasure I'd been feeling died as I was overwhelmed by a memory of being trapped and scared. I started to shriek and struggle to get away. I couldn't remember where I was and what was happening. Edward jumped away at vampire speed, his face concerned.

"Bella, are you all right? Did I hurt you?" he asked in a panicked voice, inspecting me for damage. I panted, trying to pull myself out of my strange memory.

"I'm not hurt. Just, give me a minute." I needed to think. What had just happened? He sat as still as a statue for a few minutes while my mind raced, but couldn't help himself for long.

"Bella, what's wrong? Are you sick? You look green." He reached out a hand to touch my face and I jumped away unconsciously.

"Please, don't touch me," I begged, terror rising from an unknown source.

"Bella," he whispered, his eyes growing frantic, "I'm sorry, whatever it is, whatever I did, please tell me, I'll do my best to make it better."

I knew I needed to start talking, to pull myself together soon, or he was going to panic entirely.

"I don't know what's wrong." I began. "When you put your hand over my mouth, it was like I was somewhere else. Like I was remembering something terrifying - but I can't remember what it was now." The panic was starting to fade, and I was embarrassed for freaking out. Edward was still staring at me as though I were a bomb about to explode. Noticing the guilt in his expression I sighed. "It's not your fault Edward. I'm not hurt. I'm fine!"

"You didn't look fine a minute ago Bella," he said, sitting next to me, "You were terrified." He looked so sad.

"I wasn't scared of YOU," I insisted. "I must have been trapped in a closet as a baby or something, and I don't like being trapped. Silly memory. Gone now. Let's not ruin our evening because of it." I knew that wasn't it, but I couldn't figure out any other explanation that made sense. I took a deep breath and looked at the clock. "We still have a few hours left until Charlie is expecting me. Do you want to go downstairs and watch a movie before you take me home?"

He looked at me intently for a minute, and then sighed. "Are you sure? You don't have a very good track record when it comes to looking after yourself."

"I'm sure."

Later that night, curled up next to Edward in my bed at home, I dreamed. I dreamed of hall lights and unfamiliar faces, darkness and feeling small and helpless. I woke with a start.

"Bella, what's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?" came Edward's soft voice.

Was it a dream? I thought. "I remember now. I remember." My voice was groggy, but I was wide awake now.

"What do you remember?" Edward was confused.

"What scared me earlier. It was him - it was then. And that's why…. And I never understood why, but WHY didn't she tell me." I sat up, my mind whirling. I felt sick and little dizzy. I hugged my knees close.

"Who, Bella?" Edward asked in a suddenly calm voice.

"Renée." I answered without thinking, "and Steven" I shuddered.

"What didn't Renée tell you?" he asked in the same calm voice. Something in his tone was familiar.

"About when I was in foster care... and why.."

"When was that?" I suddenly realized he was using the same tone of voice all of the Cullens used with Alice when she was lost in a vision. I must be scaring him, if he felt he had to draw on that. I didn't answer, but looked him straight in the eyes.

"You're here," he said, heaving a sigh of relief. I raised an eyebrow at him. "You haven't been since you woke up. I think you were still in your memory. It reminded me a bit of Alice."

"I was just thinking the same thing." I said, and sighed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked. "You don't have to."

"No, I do. I can't keep this from you. It wouldn't feel right. Are you sure you want to hear... I don't ... I mean... this isn't a happy memory Edward." I choked out, suddenly terrified that he would leave after I told him.

His arms were suddenly tight around me. "Bella, I love you. I will be here for good times, and the bad ones. I will listen to whatever you want to tell me and we will deal with the consequences together."

I took a deep breath. "I don't know where to start... I can't believe I'd never put this all together before."

He looked at me. "Do you want me to ask questions or just listen?"

"Both."

"Do you want to tell me why you were in foster care? And when?"

"When I was seven. I broke my wrist for the third time. The hospital told me they had no choice. They knew me pretty well at the hospital, and they knew that I was a klutz. None of my injuries were "suspicious", but I had too many ER visits to not have Child Protective Services involved."

"I've seen your head X-ray. I can believe that. Carlisle wondered if you'd been dropped on your head as a baby the first time he saw them."

"Well, I was only there a week, it wasn't that bad, the family were very nice to me. But now I wonder about the timing. When I was 5, my mom and I moved out of my Gran's house. She died soon after. We moved into the house I grew up in. Renée was only 25, and she started dating again. I met a lot of them. They were usually really nice, and Renée was pretty good at getting rid of the ones I didn't like. Just after my 6th birthday she met Steven and they got really close really fast. He seemed really nice at the time. He bought me lots of presents and always wanted to do things "as a family". It didn't take long for Renée to get comfortable enough with him to have him stay at the house overnight."

I stopped and took a deep breath. Edward, his arms still around me, didn't move.

"And that's what I remembered. I know it is."

"You remember him staying overnight?"

"No. Yes, but I think... no, I know he used to come into my room while Renée was sleeping. I would lay in bed at night, scared, while I waited for the hall light to come on... that meant he was on his way. And he would sit on the edge of my bed." my voice dropped to a whisper. "and he put one hand over my mouth so I couldn't make any noise. And he pulled up my nightgown and touched me. He touched himself too, but I didn't understand that part then. I was just so scared, and embarrassed..." I bit back a sob. We sat absolutely still, the weight of what I'd just said immobilizing us.

"Why didn't you tell Renée?" Edward's velvet voice was almost hoarse.

I sniffed and cleared my throat, "He told me she wouldn't believe me, and that she'd be very angry at me for lying. He called me horrible names in the dark. Told me that it was my fault. She was so infatuated with him... I believed him. Just after I turned seven Renée found him in the hallway when he was done with me. He lied and said he'd been in the bathroom, but I don't think she believed him. He never stayed over again, but she didn't break up with him til later." I was breathing heavily, almost panting.

"Bella, we can stop..." began Edward, but I cut him off.

"No, I need to finish this." I slowed my breathing, trying not to hyperventilate. "It was just after that when I broke my wrist. I was trying to learn to roller blade. I can remember sitting on the bed in the ER, and Renée talking to one of the doctors, but she was too far away for me to hear what she said. The she came back and told me that the hospital had to investigate because of all the ER visits. I was in pain from my wrist and so scared and worried about Renée, and scared that I'd never see her again, and I thought I'd done something wrong."

I could recall with perfect clarity the social worker shaking hands and introducing herself to me as though I were an adult. "I'm Sophia Tynes. The doctors here are going to give you a complete physical and then I'm going to take you to stay with a foster family for a little while." I'd just stared at her, so confused. The nurses were nice, several of them were familiar from previous visits. A doctor came in and did all the usual things. She had weighed and measured me, poked at my abdomen, listened to my heart and lungs. It was harder to remember what had happened next, as I hadn't understood it at the time, but I think I had an "internal exam".

"What are you thinking?" Edward's favourite question pulled me back to the present.

"I think Renée told them. I can remember at the hospital, before the social worker took me to the foster family, they ... checked me. At least I think that's what they were doing... they didn't tell me. And I wonder if that's why they took me away. Or maybe the staff at the hospital thought something was wrong? They knew me fairly well - they called me a "frequent flyer". I don't know if I was acting differently, I was just a kid."

I jumped out of Edward's lap and began to pace. I was overwhelmingly angry all of a sudden. At Steven for doing what he did in the first place, at Charlie for not protecting me, at Edward for just sitting there shocked and most of all at Renée, and at myself for not remembering this in the first place.

"Why didn't she tell me," I groaned, "How could she keep this from me. It's not fair that this is happening now. I don't want this, I don't want to have to deal with this, we've already dealt with so much. I just wanted some peace and quiet… why didn't she TELL me!" I failed to understand how my flighty mother had kept such a terrible secret for so long. From ME! She told me everything, we had been the best of friends when I lived with he in Phoenix, we had no secrets - or so I had thought. Tears were pouring down my cheeks. I looked a Edward, my anger spent. "I don't know what to do now," I whispered, rubbing away my tears with the heels of my hands. I looked straight at him, for the second time since I'd woken up.

Edward was still. Too still - he always did that in stressful situations. His eyes were horrified, sad and scared, all at once. Looking at them, I burst into fresh tears and dove back into his lap, seeking the comfort of his arms. I sobbed and sobbed while he gently patted my hair and made quiet "shh" noises. Eventually the storm of crying passed and I craned my head to look at the clock. It was late - or early- and I was exhausted.

"Love, you should try to get some sleep," mumered Edward into my ear.

I shook my head a little. "I'm scared I'll have nightmares," my voice shook. It was the one side effect of Edward leaving me last year that I had never been able to overcome. Always a vivid dreamer, any kind of stress led straight to screaming nightmares.

"I'll be here all night. I'll keep you safe," he said softly.

I yawned. I wasn't going to get a choice. My body was shutting down regardless. We lay down, Edward's arm tight around me, his cool body pressed firmly against me, and I closed my eyes and fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

**Don't hate me. Edward is up next! (It may take a while though... that boy is wordy!)**


	3. What Edward Hit

**Hello Again! Here is some wordy, angsty, angry Edward for you. A warning for language... Emmett features in this chapter, and I can't get him to clean up his language, so it's all in there.**

**What Edward Hit**

As Bella settled into me and her regular breathing indicated that she'd finally gone back to sleep, I remembered with heartbreaking clarity the horrible things she'd told me. Someone had touched her. Had hurt her. Scared her. And she had only been a child! I was so angry at this Steven. I felt FULL of anger, as though it were going to overwhelm me and spill out. But there was nothing I could do about it now. Bella had to be my priority, and she wanted me here with her. I couldn't leave her alone right now for anything.

Bella's sleep seemed dreamless and peaceful. I prayed it was. A few hours after the gray dawn broke, my cell phone vibrated in my pocket. Leaving one arm wrapped around Bella, I used the other to pull out my phone. It was a text message from Alice. "Sunshine by 9am. Come home." I looked at the time. It was 8:30am. Bella showed no sign of waking and I didn't want her to wake up alone today. The phone buzzed again while I deliberated. "I know, wake her to tell her, she'll come here later today."

I hated to do it, but Charlie was not planning on leaving the house until later this afternoon. It would be beyond awkward to be stuck in the house with him on a sunny day while we waited for him to go to La Push this afternoon to watch a baseball game. I gently shook Bella's shoulder. She mumbled but didn't wake up. I pressed my lips to her hand and called her name softly. Her eyelids fluttered and slowly opened. "Wha-" she muttered, sleepy and confused.

"The sun is going to be out soon, Alice sent me a text. I've got to go now, but feel free to come over later. Call if you want to, or take some time alone. I love you and I'll see you soon." She nodded, frowning. My dead heart broke at the abandoned expression on her face, but the clock said 8:43am and I wouldn't help anything by getting stuck. I moved swiftly out of the window and started to move as soon as I hit the ground.

I ran home, using the speed to help control my mounting anger. But it wasn't a long enough trip to do any real good, and the cloud cover was starting to break up. I owed it to my family not to risk them by being seen. All too soon, I was running up the long driveway. Alice sat on the porch, her thoughts full of the conversation Bella and I had had last night.

Alice knew? Why didn't she tell me? "Alice," I growled, "Do not tell me that you knew that this was coming."

"No!" she said, and her thoughts proved her to be mostly right. "_I saw part of it the night before last, but none of it made any sense. It just looked like a bad dream, and I didn't want to worry you about nothing._" The vision she showed me was cloudy and muted, as so many visions of Bella are. Alice had indeed seen only Bella having her dream and than her later outburst. I took a deep breath. I couldn't take my frustrations out on Alice. This wasn't her fault.

"Does anyone else know?" I asked her in an even tone of voice.

"Jasper." she said aloud. "I was so upset when I understood last night - I had to tell him. Rose and Emmett know that I had an upsetting vision, but they don't know what about." I felt guilty as Alice remembered having her vision last night, and Jasper's worries about her.

My anger was growing again. How could one human wreak so much havoc on our lives? I kicked one of the pillars that held up the roof on the covered porch. The whole structure shook, reminding me to be more cautious with my strength. Alice was sorting through visions of Bella arriving at the house - the timing kept changing. Some were a few minutes away, some much later in the afternoon. Bella was feeling indecisive and it was driving Alice crazy. My Bella was not usually indecisive - in fact she was usually so stubbornly stuck to one point of view that it was impossible to convince her of anything else. She'd never been shy about visiting either - she liked it here. I groaned, gripping the edge of Esme's carefully chosen patio chair so hard that a piece came off in my hand.

"Do you want me to go get Jasper?" asked Alice doubtfully, leaving unspoken her reluctance to expose him to my emotional maelstrom. I shook my head, my teeth clenched shut. I was only keeping it together by a hair's breath and didn't know how or where I could safely let it go. I threw the piece of chair into the wide yard.

Emmett stuck his head out of the door. "I'm so telling Esme it was you trashing her furniture for once and not me - whoa!" As he got a good look at my face, Emmett's thoughts suddenly filled with a clearing in the woods. He turned into house yelling "Back in a while Rose!"

Rosalie answered, "Kay!" and returned to the piano piece she'd been working on.

"C'mon bro," Emmett ran off, gesturing for me to follow him. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked. I shook my head. I still felt like I was going to explode. We kept running. Being with Emmett this way was peaceful, as he kept his thoughts focused on the clearing that was our destination. When we arrived I suddenly realized my brother's intentions. This was a safe place to explode. I shook my head. It was a nice gesture, but couldn't do this now. Bella could be arriving any minute. "I.. shouldn't be here. I should go..." I started to say.

"Edward, come on. You need to let it out, or you're going to hurt her." Emmett was frustrated, and honestly worried about Bella. It was a nice thought, but what did he know about what I was going through?

"Look," I said, the anger at the surface boiling over again, "You don't know anything about what's going on, so don't tell me what I need," and I shoved him, just to make my point.

"Oh, I don't, huh? You feel sick to your stomach? Like you want to punch something? Maybe you'd like to take her away somewhere and just hide for the rest of time? Go on Edward, what other unique feelings are you having? Cuz obviously there is no way I understand what it's like to have the person you love the most hurt. I wouldn't understand what it's like to feel like you want to hit something you can't get at. I have no idea how frustrating it is to be understanding and supportive when all you want to do is destroy something, just so you can feel better." Underneath my anger, I suddenly realized that Emmett was possibly the only person in my family who could truly understand what I was feeling. He'd been dealing with this since he opened his eyes to this life almost eighty years ago. Emmett continued, "DO NOT TELL ME WHAT I AM NOT FEELING, AND WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND." and then he jumped at me. I was so distracted that I didn't really see him coming until it was too late. We fell to the ground with a crash, and rolled to the side. I used the momentum to get him off.

I grabbed a tree and threw it across the clearing. "It's not fair!" I sobbed as another tree went flying. "We don't deserve this!" It did feel good to get rid of the tension and anger, and I gave myself over to that anger, screaming, yelling unintelligibly and throwing trees and rocks. Several minutes passed before I could get myself under control again. I noticed Emmett sitting off to one side of the clearing.

"That's the first time I've ever surprised you in a fight, I think."

"Thanks."

"So, you gonna tell me who hurt Bella?"

I grew cautious. Emmett was well intentioned, but it was really Bella's story to tell. I was curious though, "How do you know that someone has hurt Bella?"

"Other than the fact that I can't think of any other reason for you to destroy Esme's furniture?" Emmett quirked an eyebrow and then sighed. "I recognize the look man. Carlisle's worn it, Jasper had it last year when Alice found out all that shit about being in an asylum, your face was stuck like that after Phoenix and I've had it when Rose is going through rough patches." Emmett's sunny face clouded as he remembered comforting Rosalie. Rosalie's beautiful face twisted in tortured memories, and as I watched in Emmett's memories her face morphed into Bella's face last night and I groaned. "It's the face you get when someone hurts the woman you love," he finished.

I as still hesitating. Emmett noticed, and guessed the reason why. Emmett can be surprisingly intuitive - when he has to be. "Do you really think it will be worse if we all know? I would think it would be easier if everyone knew. No curiosity, no questions to answer. We can all just focus on helping as much as we can. Cuz this is bad, isn't it?" He was right, again.

I nodded, still trying to find the right words.

"Is it - the mutt?" Emmett asked reluctantly.

"No, no!" I exclaimed, "No one we know, unfortunately. Last night when Bella came over we were...practicing for... after the wedding. She was nervous about ... being overheard." I shot him a look, and his guilt level rose. "At one point, I covered her mouth with my hand. She panicked and screamed - well, you heard that part."

He nodded. "Thanks goodness for Alice, keeping us all in line, and looking out for Bella."

"Yeah. Bella downplayed it, and said she didn't know what it was about and then we came down to watch the movie. Later, while she was sleeping she looked like she was having a nightmare, but she wasn't saying anything, so I didn't know and then she just woke up."

"_And_" thought Emmett.

"And," I sighed, "She remembered why she was screaming. One of Renée's boyfriends had molested her when she was 6. And she thinks she spent a week in foster care because of it." Emmett's thoughts were whirling. Mostly he wanted to find whoever had hurt Bella. "Not helping Emmett." I muttered. I was trying to suppress the urge hunt the bastard down and kill him myself. I didn't have enough information to find him though - and I couldn't leave Bella to deal with this by herself.

"_Sorry,_" Emmett thought, getting himself under control. "_Six years old, sick fuck._"

"I know."

"So what does Bella want to do now?"

"I don't know. She doesn't know. She was too tired and upset last night - I still don't know exactly what happened after Renée found out."

Emmett was shocked. "_Her mother knew - but Bella didn't? That's fucked up man._" Emmett's words were crude, but I agreed with the sentiment. Bella loved her mother dearly. However, reading between the lines of Bella's stories of burnt dinners, late night meditations and séances, getting lost, have the power switched off due to non-payment, Renée had never looked after Bella. It didn't surprise me that when something hard had come up, Renée had done what was easiest for her, and not what was best for Bella. Avoiding the issue, and hoping it would never come up again. It fit Renée's childish personality perfectly. Again, I had to leave that thought. Bella would not thank me for hurting her mother, no matter what she had done. Or not done.

"I should head back, Bella is coming over later and I don't want to miss her."

"We can't go back til you get your face under control."

Emmett had lost me. "What?"

He sighed. "If you look at her like that, how do you think she'll feel? Like you still love her, sure. But like you pity her. Like there's something wrong with her. Like she's a victim. You can't do that to her. You have to be able to look at her the same." I hated it when Emmett was right. But he was. Bella had to know that nothing had changed between us, or she would feel terrible about herself. As I thought about that I realized that nothing had changed between us. We were still strong, and would hopefully remain so.

"That's better. Let's go."

We ran quickly back to the house. Alice was still sitting on the porch, and Jasper's arm was around her. He looked at me warily, assessing my emotions. I was calmer now, though still upset. He should be able to tolerate me, and maybe even help without getting overwhelmed. Alice was still running through Bella's future, trying to assess when she would arrive. Things were clearing up now. I was glad, until I realized that Rosalie was with her. In a car. On a sunny day.

"Alice?" I asked. I must be seeing things.

"Well, I could see that you were going to tell Emmett, and so I told Rosalie. And then Bella was still trying to decide when to come over, and it was really starting to get to me, and Rose..." she stopped talking but I could see the rest of the scene clearly in her thoughts.

_"Agh! Bella, just make up your mind!" Alice exclaimed._

_"What exactly is her problem?" Rose asked._

_"The usual with Bella. She doesn't want to "burden" us by bringing in negative emotions, she doesn't want to have to deal with any embarrassing questions, and she's not sure how Edward's going to react to all this."_

_"God, they are both just as bad as each other, aren't they? I can't deal with this shit any more. I'll go and pick her up, and end all the drama."_

_Jasper stared at her. "Do you really think that that's a good idea? It's not __going to help __anyone if the neighbours get a look at you in the sun, is it?"_

_Rosalie glared back, "Of course not. I wasn't going to get out of the car. Bella will recognize Carlisle's Mercedes, and the windows are tinted dark enough that I shouldn't have any problems driving there and back. Besides, if you two didn't get caught on the way to Phoenix, then shouldn't really have a problem in Forks, should I?" She turned on her heel and before Alice or Jasper could react, the sound of the Mercedes started in the __g__arage._

"It didn't seem like it would matter that much how she got here." Jasper filled in the story, " And Rose... was really worried about Bella when she left. She wanted to care for her. I think this could be good."

He knew as well as I did that it really depended on the method of caring Rosalie chose. Her brand of brutal honesty was not for everyone and could really hurt Bella in her fragile emotional state. But there really didn't seem to be much I could do about it now, so I sat down on the porch with my family to enjoy the sunshine and wait for Bella.

**Poor Edward, all angry. Good thing he has Emmett to help him out. And beat him up. Next chapter we are back to Bella's POV and we get to find out what Rosalie will do! **


	4. What Rosalie Said

**Sorry about the wait! This chapter was meant to lead into a major plot point, but got insanely long and complicated. Rather than cut out some nice stuff, I cut the chapter in half**.** This chapter and the majority of other chapters will be in Bella's POV, as the story revolves around her. (There may be one more from Edward's POV, depending.)**

**I do not own Twilight.  
**

**What Rosalie Said  
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**BPOV  
**  
I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling and trying not to think. That was proving impossible. Looking around the room I saw my Jane Austen compilation book. Inspiration struck.

_"It is a truth universally acknowledged," _I recited to myself, _"that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife."_

I couldn't remember anymore of that, so I moved on to Shakespeare.

_"Oh Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?  
Deny thy father and refuse thy name,  
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,  
And I'll no longer be a Capulet."_

But then Romeo had a line, and Edward's voice was in my head again. I was tired, but I couldn't sleep anymore. I should get dressed and drive over to the Cullen's, but there was a tiny voice in the back of my head that said that Edward might not want to see me. _Don't be silly Bella,_ I said to myself, _he said we will deal with the consequences together. _I didn't want to think about the consequences of what yet, so I got up and grabbed my toiletry bag and headed to the bathroom. I cursed the sun as I brushed my teeth. A large part of me knew my doubts were silly, but I wouldn't be having them at all if Edward were still here. I could hear Charlie moving around downstairs, and groaned to myself. I was going to have to seem normal for him. I wasn't ready to talk to him about it yet.

It. That's what I was calling being molested. Tears welled up in my eyes as I stepped into the shower. I was still in shock. It made me nauseous every time my thoughts drifted that way, and yet, a part of me couldn't accept that it had happened. I must be wrong. But the dream was so real. I felt disgusting. It wasn't just that I had been treated that way as a child. It wasn't even that when Renée had suspicions she hadn't left him. It was the betrayal that she hadn't talked to me about this. Ever. That she had left it so that I had been blindsided by this weeks before I was supposed to get married. It was the ultimate example of Renée's selfish and flaky behavior. Did Charlie even know? He was quiet, but would push himself to talk about things that he felt were important. I couldn't imagine him ignoring this.

I stood under the hot water, letting it wash away the tears which flowed down my cheeks. I sobbed quietly for a long time. The water started to get cold, so I turned it off as soon as I could get myself under control. I quickly dried off and dressed, resolving to go to Edward's house as soon as I was done eating breakfast. My resolve only lasted until I got downstairs and came face to face with Charlie. Watching him at the sink washing his breakfast dishes, I heard a little voice in my head.

_Edward can't love anyone like you. You're all dirty now. He'll have to leave and find someone better._

Another voice was right behind it,

_You are just making this all up. Renée would never let this happen. What kind of daughter are you anyway?_

The wave of nausea rose again. I pushed it down deep and carefully kept my face blank. Luckily, today Charlie was on parental autopilot.

"Hey kiddo! You sleep okay?" he asked without looking up from the sink.

"Yup" I lied.

"Got any plans for today?" he continued as I got myself a bowl of cereal, "There's a game on this afternoon, and I'm heading down to La Push to watch it with Billy. Gonna try and convince him to put some posters up down there too." Charlie was annoyed that Billy wasn't worried about Jacob being gone. He'd covered Forks in "Missing" posters and wanted Billy do to the same in La Push. Apparently Billy didn't see the point.

Thinking about Jacob running off weighed me down with another layer of misery and I lost my appetite. The voices were back.

_Definitely unlovable and gross... even Jacob had to run away._

_This is all crazy... you are such a drama queen. Things like this don't happen to good girls. You _are _always a good girl, right?_

I shook the voices off again. Maybe I should just stay at home today. It wasn't like I was any kind of company in this mood - and Alice would probably want to go over more wedding plans. Ugh. The wedding. I definitely didn't want to think about the wedding just now. Trying not to think about the wedding led to thinking about Alice trying to get me to decide between two photographers, which led to me remembering the photo album.

When I'd left Phoenix, Renée had made me a scrapbook during one of her classes. It was one of her more successful hobbies, and the album was beautiful. It started with a photo of me a newborn, and continued chronologically until the week before I'd left. It included all my school photos and many friends and acquaintances. And I was suddenly sure it contained the one photo that would make me feel less crazy, and more sure that I wasn't making all this up. I quickly dumped my cereal, washed my bowl and ran up to my room. Quickly flipping through the pages, I found the photo I'd been looking for. It showed a family, with six children of various races. My foster family. They were real. Now if only I knew more of why I stayed with them. I was going to have to talk to Renée. I didn't want to talk to her. I just wanted answers. I didn't think I had the patience to try and keep Renée on topic while I found out about the most painful part of my childhood. I sighed.

A car honked in the driveway. I looked up. Who was that?

"Bella, you expecting someone?"

"No, Dad, but I'll go see who it is."

"Tell them to come in. It's rude to sit in the driveway and honk... are they allergic to sunlight or something?"

I laughed to myself, as Charlie was currently watching a sports update in the living with the blinds drawn. Looking out the window, I saw a black Mercedes with tinted windows and I realized that whoever was in the car likely WAS "allergic to sunlight". It was one of the Cullens. I walked carefully to the car, not sure who I was hoping for. I wasn't sure what (or who) I was going to see, but my jaw nearly hit the ground when I realized it was Rosalie sitting behind the wheel. She waved me towards the passenger seat as I stared at her. Rosalie had never willingly come to my house before. She had never picked me up. In fact I didn't think she had ever been here for social reasons. So what on earth was she doing here, on today of all days. She rolled the window down just a crack.

"Are you getting in or what?"

"Ummm," I muttered, really not sure what was going on.

"Just get in the car already. You were planning on coming over today, correct?" she said, irritated.

"Just, let me go get something, and tell Charlie where I'm going, okay?" I stuttered.

"K, just hurry up."

I almost ran back up the stairs, but tripped, caught myself, and realized that a quick walk would be a better idea. I stuffed my photo album into my shoulder bag, and yelled to Charlie, "I'm heading over to the Cullen's!"

I heard him yell "Okay!" just as I closed the the door behind me.

I got into the car and Rosalie immediately took off. Apparently it was too much to ask to find one member of the family who didn't feel that driving 20 mph above the speed limit was "crawling".

We drove for a while in silence. I still didn't know why Rosalie had come to pick me up and it was getting to me. But I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want to talk about what had happened last night. I didn't know if Rosalie knew, and I didn't want to drag up bad memories from her past. I didn't really want to be in this car sitting in uncomfortable silence with someone who disagrees with what I want to do with the rest of my life because she thinks that I should have babies and give up on the most important person in my world.

As my mood got worse, I got twitchy. Rosalie noticed that I was squirming in my seat and grimaced.

"Look, I'm sorry about this. I have some things I'd like to say, but I'm not sure how to start."

"What about?"

"Well, I suppose I should let you know that your... recently remembered past is general knowledge back at the house."

"Oh." I looked at my hands. I didn't know what else to say.

"It was Alice, but it wasn't really her fault. She caught wind of you talking to Edward in your room last night about 20 minutes before it happened, and was all upset and told Jasper. Then Edward came home and Emmett guessed something was up and took him off into the woods for a boy talk, and I guess he told him what was going on. Then you were at home and couldn't make up your mind about whether to come over or not, and it was driving Alice crazy because her visions were changing every few seconds, so she told me why, and I decided enough was enough and came to get you." She shrugged.

I continued to stare at my hands. I knew in theory that the Cullens couldn't keep secrets from each other, but this was the first time it had been put into practice with my life. Listening to Rosalie's explanation it made complete sense why everyone who knew did, but I was still embarrassed. I could feel the flush of emotion rising up my neck and my eyes began to water. I didn't want to cry in front of Rosalie. It would be ridiculous... she'd been through so much more, and she wasn't crying.

"Are you all right? I'm sorry that we all found out this way. Carlisle and Esme are out hunting. They're due back tonight, and Edward will probably tell them. It's easier this way, though. No explanations, and you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

I shook my head, and the tears spilled over. Rosalie's face looked panicked.

"Ummm, don't cry...." She patted me gingerly on the shoulder, and pulled the car over on the side of the deserted highway. "Look, I wanted to talk to you. You don't have to say anything, but I think you should listen. Because while it's not the same thing, I do have some idea of what you are going through. And I wanted you to know that it won't always seem as bad as it does right now." I peeked at Rosalie, sitting far too still to be human in the drivers seat, staring straight ahead. "One day it will seem a little better, and then one day you'll go days, weeks without thinking about it. It never goes away all together, but it becomes... manageable. Bearable." She grimaced, an odd expression on her beautiful face.

I nodded. I didn't really agree with her. She understood more in this moment than any other person I knew could, and yet she still didn't really get it. "Sure."

"Great. I knew this was a bad idea. 'Sure' - That's the best you can come out with?"

I lost it. I had not slept well, every emotion I had was rubbed raw and I just saw red. "Look Rosalie, thanks for your help, but I don't know what you are hoping to accomplish here. I'm trying to deal with this in my own way in my own time, and I don't need you or anyone else to tell me how to do it." I took a deep breath and kept on going, the pent up feelings pouring out of my mouth, "I don't know how I'm going to feel next week, tomorrow, or later today. Right now I'm just a big mess, and I would appreciate being left alone to just get on with it. It's not like anyone really wants to get involved with this, and I know you'll all feel like you should and that you have to be there, and pick me up and put me back together, but I don't need your pity, and-"

"Pity! You think I'm here out of PITY? Are you crazy?"

"No, I'm not crazy! Thanks for thinking so well of me." The tears were welling up again, hot and angry. "I just don't need anyone to think that they have to stick around while I go through this. Because I've got this fucked up thing to deal with and I don't want anyone to feel like they have to stay and deal with this out of some sense of obligation."

She gave me a piercing look. "This isn't about me or the rest of us, you're worried about Edward aren't you?" I nodded. She shook her head. "I've never seen two people ever who were so bent and determined to not put the other one out. He's at home, ranting and raving to Emmett so that he doesn't upset you, and you're locked at home with Charlie not wanting anyone to help you because we might only do it out of "obligation". Here's what you need to understand though. Edward loves you beyond all reason. Love IS obligation. When you love someone you are OBLIGATED to help them. That's the whole point of the marriage vow, right? For better for worse? Any of this sound familiar?"

She smacked the steering wheel with both hands. "See, this is why I didn't want to do this. I just wanted to get it out of the way before someone asked... I knew they would, they all think like that. But it's not like I can help. It's not really like that. You have to decide to this on your own. I can't do it for you. It's not like there's a blueprint or a plan or something. I can tell you what I did, but that's no good, because revenge doesn't really help. I'm not sorry for what I did, but it didn't help, and it's not something you can do right now anyway." She attacked the steering wheel again.

I nodded. Revenge was definitely not something I was thinking about right now. I cleared my throat. "I do want to let it go. I do. And I will. But I have to find out what happened first. Because I really don't know enough. And I'm really hurt that my parents didn't deal with this at the time. At least, I'm disappointed in Renée. I don't think Charlie knows either. At least not the whole story. But Renée didn't deal with it. And she should have. Because she's my mother and that's her job." I sighed. "Do you remember when you came into Edward's room and told me your story?" She nodded. "I wanted to tell you about this then, but I didn't really know how. You said at the time how different we were, and I don't think you really understand why. Renée is a neat person, but she's a lousy parent. I know it's kind of a running joke at your house that I'm this clumsy, accident prone human who needs to be looked out for all the time, but honestly this is the first time in my life that anyone has seen me that way. When I lived with Renée I was her sensible, born-middle-aged daughter, who was the one who made sure the bills got paid, and that we had groceries, and that she was being safe on a date. I made sure we had a map in the car, gave her directions over the phone when she got lost, and made sure she turned things into work when they were due. I gave my own mother a "safe sex" talk when I was fourteen years old. And it was never fair for it to all be on my shoulders, but there was no one else to do it. Because Renée wouldn't. Couldn't. I don't know."

More tears, this time with a sob. Rosalie looked at me while I completely broke down, and slowly and hesitantly began to rub my back. "Shh, Bella. I know. You're not alone anymore. You've got Edward. You've got me - well, US really. And we will look after you, whether you want us to or not."

I nodded and sniffed, wiping my fave on my sleeve.

"You know, that whole nose goo thing is really gross." she added conversationally. I gave her a watery smile, and she relaxed noticeably. "I meant what I said earlier. Once you get some answers, it will be easier to live with. It happened a long time ago, and it doesn't change who you are inside." When I looked a Rosalie, I felt like I was seeing her for the first time. This was her personal mantra. This was how she lived with terrible things in her past. This was how she held her head high. I felt so privileged that someone strong like Rosalie could ever consider me her sister. It helped. The part of me inside that had been sure that I was changed and awful and not worth knowing was still there. But it had an angel that looked like Rosalie sitting on it's shoulder, telling it to stop being ridiculous.

Rosalie didn't seem to notice that I was lost in thought, and kept on talking. "Actually, if you get your own way after the wedding, you may not remember it anyway." That hadn't occurred to me. Edward had told me that human memories fade after the change, with only the really strong and important ones stay with you as the years past. He could remember going to baseball games with his Father, what kind of cookies his Mother had baked him, but couldn't remember much about going to school. Rosalie had said something about it too, the first time she'd told me her story. That she could remember the night she'd been attacked but couldn't remember her brothers. My memories of Steven weren't strong - I could hardly remember them at all.

"Although," continued Rosalie, still unaware of my inner turmoil, "there's always the chance that you'll come to your senses and change your mind." I grimaced involuntarily. Rosalie sighed. "I know you think I'm some kind of bitch, but I just don't think that you are thinking this all the way through. And I wouldn't want you to regret it later. Or for Edward to regret it later. And I really don't get how anyone would choose this."

"I don't think you are a bitch. I just... don't think you can understand my point of view any more than I can understand yours. If it were possible for me to have babies and get old and whatever WITH Edward, than I would. Honestly. But it's not and I can not and WILL not live and do those things without him." My voice broke again. The idea of not having Edward left me feeling panicky.

"I know, and I wish I had easy answers or any answers or something. I just know that if I had been asked... I would have said no." She looked at me, and I looked at her.

"I know. And I feel differently. And I appreciate that you are looking out for me." I said softly. "And I've listened to you, and I think I need to make my own decision from this point onwards."

"I know. I don't like it, but I know. And if you ever want to change your mind...." she trailed off, suddenly embarrassed.

"You'll be the first to know." I promised, feeling just a bit lighter. Rosalie and I had been at odds over this for a long time. It felt good to agree to disagree.

Rosalie looked at me, and I looked at her. Without another word she turned the car back onto the road, and headed for the Cullens house.

**It's very very hard to make Bella have a fight with someone... I almost wrote the whole fight backwards, so that I could make Rosalie say mean things. They drove me crazy, so please appreciate and review!**

**So next up Bella and Edward are back together, trying to decide the next move! (And Alice wants an update about the wedding.)**

**The first quote is the opening line from "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen and the second is from the balcony scene in "Romeo and Juliet" by William Shakespeare. **


	5. What Emmett Grabbed

**Hello to all! Sorry that this took so long, it was meant to be the second part of the last chapter, but it grew a life of it's own. Thanks to Jeannie, my new beta, and best friend, for all your help and patience. (Especially when I'm harassing you!)  
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**I do not own Twilight**

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* * *

  
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**What Emmett Grabbed**

**  
BPOV  
**

I looked in the passenger side mirror as we pulled into the driveway. My eyes were still red and swollen from crying. I sighed, realizing that Edward was going to be worried and blame Rosalie. As we pulled into the garage, Edward was waiting for us. He opened the passenger door and pulled me gently from the car almost before it stopped moving. He frowned as he noticed the signs of tears on my face.

"Bella, are you all right?" he asked, glaring significantly at Rosalie over my shoulder.

"Rosalie and I had a good talk." I dodged the question. I wasn't all right, or okay, but that wasn't Rosalie's fault. She snorted at my non-answer and stared at Edward, obviously showing him at least part of our conversation.

I leaned into Edward while he concentrated on his sister. His arms were around me, and my head was on his chest. My doubts faded away now that I was in his arms. I inhaled deeply, and felt my body relax. As it always did, his scent made me feel safe. It smelled like home to me.

Rosalie's musical laugh pulled me from my thoughts. I realized she must have heard my deep inhalation of Edward's chest. I blushed and turned my face away, which made her laugh again. When I looked back, she touched my arm and said "See you later."

As she turned to walk out of the garage, I called after her "See you later Rose!" and was rewarded with a beautiful smile. It was the first time I had ever used her nickname.

Edward raised an eyebrow. "I'm glad that you and Rose are getting along so well."

"Yeah, she really does care."

"You say that like you weren't sure before. Rosalie has her own ways of showing it, but she cares deeply, once you get past the outside."

"Yeah."

I sighed, happy to be with him, and temporarily blocking out the rest of the world. I didn't want to talk about Rosalie or anything else. He led me by the hand to his room, and we cuddled together on the couch. I was so happy to see him again, to have it confirmed that Rosalie was right and he was still here for me.

We sat like that for several minutes, soft music coming from the stereo on the bookshelf, when Edward kissed my head. "Bella, can I ask you something?"

I looked up at him, and nodded.

"When Rosalie was showing me parts of your conversation with her, I saw something... she was trying to hide it, but ... Rosalie isn't very good at hiding things..." He was visibly uncomfortable now, and my heart dropped into my stomach. My fears from the morning, put to rest after my conversation with Rosalie, flared to life again. He didn't want me - he was revolted by me. Tears welled up in my eyes. He was going to leave me.

Edward pulled himself together, grabbed me by the shoulders and began to shake me as roughly as he ever had. "Bella, do you really think so little of me?" I stared at him, confused. "Do you honestly think I would see you any differently? I swore to you that we would see this through together. And we will. Not because I feel I have to -although I do -but because I love you and want you to be happy."

I looked him straight in the eyes. I was expecting to see pity, shame, horror or even disgust. I was sure that he was lying to me. Edward will always do what he feels is right - even when what is right makes him unhappy. But all I saw in his eyes was love. Pure love; a love that wanted nothing more than my happiness. And then I knew that what he said was true. Rosalie's words had locked my fears away, but Edward's eyes got rid of them for good.

"Bella?"

I realized that I'd been staring when I should have been saying something. Fresh tears streamed down my cheeks.

"Oh Edward, I was so afraid I'd have to do this alone. But I didn't want you to stay out of pity..." I cried, burying my face in his chest again. His arms closed around me; a firm reminder that we were a team.

"You will never have to do this alone Bella. I'm here," he soothed, patting my hair. We sat like that for a long moment.

"What's in your bag?" Edward asked me, nodding towards my shoulder bag.

"Oh." I blushed. "I was... having trouble believing that I'd really remembered what I thought I had. It doesn't really seem real. So I went looking for proof." I got up and showed him the scrapbook. "Renée made it for me. Before I left Phoenix. And this," I flipped the pages, "was my foster family. Well, the parents are the same, but some of the kids are different."

He looked at the picture for a long moment. "They look kind," he said approvingly.

"They were. They really care about all the kids they look after, and try to stay in touch when they can. This picture was from the Christmas card they sent us that year."

Edward nodded. "So this is proof? Proof of what, exactly?"

I blushed, and looked down. "Just that... part of what I remember is true. And that it happened like I think it did. And thatimnotcrazy." I mumbled quickly. Unfortunately, you can't mumble fast enough for vampire ears.

He hugged me tight. "My poor Bella. So you spent all morning thinking that you might be crazy and making it all up, but if you weren't, you were scared that I would leave you. I'm so so sorry that you had to wake up alone today." We sat in silence for another moment. "So, have you decided what you want to do next?"

He'd asked the one question I didn't have an answer to. I knew that I needed to talk to Renée but the thought made me nauseous. "I don't know. I'm so mad at Renée, and so... hurt." I suddenly realized that I'd stopped calling her Mom, and felt the distance between us grow. "Why wasn't this dealt with years ago? Why didn't she ever talk to me about it? Put me in therapy or something?"

"I don't know. And Renée is probably the only one who does. But it is your decision what happens next. We could go to Jacksonville to talk to Renée, we could fly her here. We can do this over the phone. We can wait - whatever you like."

My heart swelled with happiness when he said "we", but I was still dreading talking to Renée. "I think I'll start with Charlie," I said, biting my lip. "He must know something. I only saw him once or twice a year growing up, but he and Renée would talk on the phone at least once a week."

"Do you want to talk to him today?"

I shook my head. "No, tomorrow maybe." I didn't think I could handle anything else today. I would make meat loaf tomorrow, I decided. It was one of Charlie's favourite meals, and would help to soften his mood. Not that I expected him to be mad at me, but dealing with his anger towards Renée would be just as bad. I was so used to defending her from Charlie's disapproval.

Edward was staring at me again. "What are you thinking, love?" he asked.

I blushed. "Just planning dinner for tomorrow night." I stared out of his bedroom window, taking a moment to admire the view.

"Bella, do you remember when I drove you home after you passed out in biology class?"

I nodded. "You were asking me questions about myself, and wouldn't answer any of mine about yourself."

"Of course I didn't answer any questions. You'd have thought I was crazy. But, you said something that day that I've never really understood."

I frowned, trying to remember exactly what he'd asked me that day.

"You said that Renée was your best friend. But you don't seem as close to her as you do to say... Alice," he said quietly.

I sighed. This was hard to explain, and made me feel a little pathetic. "How long had I been in Forks when you asked me that? Six weeks? She was my best friend then - it's just that I didn't really understand what a best friend should be."

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I've told you that Renée takes lots of classes and joins all kinds of clubs and societies and things. When I was little, she didn't have a lot of money for baby sitters, so she always took me with her. As I got older, I could stay home, and sometimes I did, but then she'd get lost or forget to bring something with her, and it would turn into a disaster." I shook my head at the memory. "When I was little I had friends to play with on the playground, but Renée was never organized enough to get me to things like birthday parties, or to remember to arrange play dates, so I mostly just had friends at school. A lot of the people she spent time with had kids, so it wasn't like I was lonely, but when she moved onto something else I'd have to make new friends.

"In High school, and middle school, it was harder. I still went everywhere with Renée, which meant I was busy a lot of the time, but I was usually the only person my age there. I had people I spent time with at school, I ate lunch with them, picked them for partners, and every now and then went to a big group event like a day long beach trip or movie. But that was it. Renée was the one I went shopping with, the one I talked to, watched TV with, told about my day, about having little crushes on boys... I just thought I was weird. No making any friends was one of my biggest worries about moving to Forks. But at the same time, she missed Phil SO much. She always said I was her best friend, but she had a lot of friends. She didn't NEED me; she had other friends. I was there, like her room mate, so she told me everything, but I knew that if I weren't there, she'd find someone else to talk to. Looking back, it was a huge relief to pass that burden to Phil." I sighed. I'd never really thought about my relationship with my mother, and the more I did, the sadder it made me.

Edward put his finger under my chin and turned my face up so that I was looking at him. I stared into his beautiful eyes - a bright gold today - and slowly moved closer to kiss him.

He pulled his head away. "Bella, we don't have to do this. I don't want to push you..."

"I know. I want to." I stared at him again, willing him to understand. "I need to feel normal." I added quietly.

He didn't hesitate any longer, and as our lips met, my worries about the past and future began to melt away. The electric current I always felt when touching Edward was still there, and as I wrapped my arms around him to bring him closer some dim part of my brain realized how deeply I'd feared that he wouldn't be attracted to me - or worse, that being intimate would drag up more bad memories. Nothing happened for a few minutes except for the unique bliss of kissing Edward. I pulled away first, a giddy smile on my face. Edward quirked an eyebrow.

"I love you," I said before leaning in again.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I was so relaxed in Edward's room that I didn't want to leave. But it had to be done. I wanted to get to the grocery store before it closed so that I could pick up some things for Charlie's dinner tomorrow. I had to face the real world, or I was going to get sucked into depression again.

As we reached the bottom of the Cullen's long staircase I was attacked by a small dark haired blur. "Bella! I'm so sorry, I wish I had had some way to warn you!" Alice grabbed me into a bruising hug.

"Hi Alice." I said.

Edward sighed. "Alice, this is not your fault."

"I know, I just wanted to say I was sorry."

I nodded.

"I also wanted to ask about the wedding."

I groaned.

"Alice, I'm really not in the mood right now..." I started, when she put a finger over my lips.

"I know. I'm just asking if you want to change the date. We could post pone it if you want to."

I blinked. The idea had never occurred to me. I didn't want to let what happened ruin my life anymore than I could help. I shook my head. "No, the wedding should be fine on schedule...."

Edward stared at me. "Bella, are you sure?" He sounded doubtful. "You don't have to you know, I'd understand."

I took both his cool hands in mine. "I know, but I don't want this to define my life, Edward. I'll deal with it, I promise, but I really want the wedding to go ahead as scheduled."

Alice was frowning, her eyes distant. "But it still looks postponed. Are you sure Bella?"

I stared at her. "But, Alice, I'm very decided." Tears welled up again. My wedding was going to be postponed? Why? I looked to Edward, but he was staring at Alice, who was watching the future.

"Edward?" I asked. He turned back to me.

"Something's not coming through properly. She sees you driving, but it's very fuzzy and hard to make sense of, and then the wedding but in the wedding vision it's a bit later in the summer - almost September I'd guess."

My stomach sank as I felt the last bit of control I had over my life slide away. "There's nothing we can do?" I choked out before the tears began to fall.

"Bella, love, things will be all right." Edward's soothing voice washed over me as his arms held me up. I wanted to fall to the floor and cry but chose instead to bury my face in his chest.

"No, it won't!" I sobbed. "Nothing is the same. Nothing is all right."

"We don't know why the wedding looks like it will be later than planned. We may be able to make another decision which will change things, and if not, we'll still be together. Just a little later than we'd planned. There is no reason to believe that last night had anything to do with this."

"I don't care, it's still not all right!" I was so tired, and overwhelmed and hurt. I sobbed as though my heart would break as Edward and Alice led me to the couch. I continued to cry uncontrollably as their cool hands gently rubbed my back. And then, as suddenly as my latest storm of crying began, it stopped. The feeling of being overwhelmed faded, leaving behind a wonderful sense of contentment and love. As my eyes cleared, I noticed a hand on my shoulder and looked up into Jasper's concerned face.

I sniffed. "Thanks. I'm sorry Jasper, this can't be any fun for you. My emotions are all over the place. I just keep breaking down, and I don't really know why. I hate it, but I'm so angry and sad and... I don't know... all at the same time - well, you knew that, and I can't seem to get a grip on it all." I was babbling.

Jasper gave me a weak smile. "Please don't worry about me. Honestly, it's nice to be able to help you - even if it's only by giving you a little break." I look at him for a moment, worried that he was lying, but he seemed sincere. He was looking at Alice, who stared back at him with so much pride and love that I could practically feel it.

As I was catching my breath from my outburst of tears, the front door banged open, and I was pulled over the back of the couch and squashed in an enormous bear hug.

"Hey little sister!" boomed Emmett. He grabbed my shoulders as he set my feet back on the ground and looked me right in the eye. "You holding up all right? My Rosie was good to you?"

"Jesus Christ, Emmett!" said Rosalie, appearing from her bedroom. "What did you think I was going to do to her?"

"Nothing Rose, just making sure she's all right. After all, what kind of brother would I be otherwise?" Emmett and Edward exchanged a look that was likely a conversation. Then Edward smiled.

"The kind that doesn't grab people from behind and haul them around like rag dolls?" he suggested, quirking an eyebrow.

"Well, now, what kind of fun would Emmett be if he didn't?" Jasper put in. I smiled.

"He's just wondering what Bella and Rosalie got up to in the car." Alice added in a teasing tone. I giggled, and suddenly understood what Emmett had told Edward. They were trying to cheer me up.

"Wouldn't he like to know?" Rosalie's tone was full of implications, and she raised an eyebrow at me.

"Awww, damn baby, you know I do!" Emmett waggled his eyebrows at her, and I giggled again.

Rosalie crossed the room, and wrapped an arm around me, moving me away from Emmett. "You'll just have to use your imagination."

"Rosie, you're so mean to me... I think I'm going to have to leave you!"

"Oh really? For who?"

Emmett's eyes glanced around the room. I gave a little laugh. Clearly he was making this up as he went along. "For Jasper," he said, moving quickly to stand next to him. Alice lost it and her bell like laugh rang out, as Jasper took a step backwards. Emmett managed to grab his arm and looked up at him with wide eyes. "What's wrong Jazzy, don't you love me anymore?" he said, batting his eyelashes up at Jasper.

"Sure sweetheart," Jasper drawled, his Texan accent. "Does this mean you're going to be my baby?" he added suggestively. I'd gone from giggling to outright laughing, fresh tears streaming down my face.

"Absolutely!" Emmett put his hand over his heart. "I'm yours Jasper." Alice was laughing so hard that the couch was shaking, and Edward was chuckling next to me. Rosalie was wearing a Cheshire cats grin.

"Wonderful!" Jasper declared, taking both of Emmett's hands in his. "Emmett McCarty, will you be mine?"

"Of course my darling. Jasper Whitlock, will you be mine?"

"Absolutely. Does this mean we're now married?"

"Sure why not?"

"Than all of what's mine is yours?"

"Like I'd want any of it!"

"So this means that all of what's yours is mine? Like your PS3? And Rock Band 2?" Emmett's grin was wiped in a second.

"No way man, that's new!"

"Marriage vows, sweetheart. It's all mine now!"

"That's not how it works, right Rose?" A bit of panic was creeping into Emmett's tone.

"I'm not bailing you out now, Emmett. You left me, remember?" Rose laughed.

"But, but, but....Jasper, I hate to have to tell you this," he paused, and put a hand on his forehead like a Victorian woman with the vapours, "but I'm going back to my wife!"

Rose smacked the back of his head again.

"What was that for Rosie?"

"You, dumbass, forgot to ask your WIFE if she was willing to take your sorry ass back."

"You will, won't you Rose?" His faux-desperate voice rose an octave.

"Not a chance. You left me."

"Whatever shall I do?" Emmett was having a hard time keeping a straight face at this point. His eyes scanned the room wildly. Edward choked once, and Emmett said, "I know, I'll run away with Bella!" and then I was flying.

It took me a minute to realize that he'd picked me up and was running around the living room with me on his back. I was doing my best just to hold on tight. Emmett's waist was wider than Edward's and I was having trouble keeping my legs tucked in. Visions of taking out a piece of Esme's priceless art with a flying foot helped me keep my legs clenched tight. I could hear Emmett laughing, Alice giggling and Edward chuckling, but couldn't see anything but a dizzying blur.

At last, Emmett stopped. He put me down gently on my feet, winked and said, "You gonna make it little sis?"

I nodded. It felt nice to have a real family.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

After lunch the next day, I opened the fridge door and groaned. I still hadn't been to the grocery store and if I wanted to make a meatloaf dinner I had to go soon. And I needed to make meatloaf, because tonight I was going to talk to Charlie. I gulped. I can do this, I told myself.

As I gathered the money and my coat, I cursed myself for staying at the Cullens until it was too late to go shopping yesterday. It had been cloudy by the end of the day, but today it was pouring with rain. I wasn't looking forward to grocery shopping in the rain. But it had to be done.

I darted to the truck and jumped inside, banging my elbow in my haste to escape to rain. I cursed and started the engine.

I was on a stretch of deserted road when I thought I saw something in the woods past the ditch. I turned my head for just a second, but looked back when I felt the truck hit a deep puddle and start to hydroplane. Desperately I turned the steering wheel, trying to aim the truck back at the road, but I over corrected. Gasping, I jerked the steering wheel uselessly as the truck plunged into the ditch. I heard a loud crunch and then everything went black.

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**So, as long as you all don't hate me for the evil cliffy, please review! All those who review will get an advance teaser before I post the next chapter!**


	6. What Edward Realized

**Sorry for the long gap... this chapter grew to be larger than I wanted, so I split it again. I hope everyone who reviewed enjoyed their teaser. I'm making the same offer this time, all reviewers will get a teaser!**

**The good news is that I have about half of the next chapter already written, so it shouldn't take so long next time.**

**I am not a doctor or a mechanic, but every situation mentioned has been googled and is at least plausible.**

**Thanks to Jeannie for being a fantastic beta, and loving my rambles.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

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**What Edward Realized**

**EPOV**

The steady beat of the heart monitor reassured me that Bella was still alive. An IV kept her hydrated and nourished. An oxygen tube under her nose helped her to breathe comfortably. I knew it was all necessary but at the same time I hated it. I couldn't convince myself that she was going to get better until she opened her eyes.

I knew why I felt this way. It was like Phoenix all over again. Again I felt overwhelmingly guilty. But for a different reason this time. Then I had felt terrible about introducing danger into her life, for putting her in a situation where she felt she had to choose between her mother and her own life.

A car accident on a rainy road was a surprisingly normal and human way for Bella to be hurt. She'd been through so much, and I couldn't shake the belief that some of it was my fault. I couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that if I had listened to Bella, that if I done as she asked, we wouldn't be here now. And suddenly, left alone in the hospital with my unconscious fiancée, I let myself imagine it for the first time. Bella, my Bella, but paler than she was, even now, and with blood red eyes. But these changes went deeper than what I could see in my imagination. I pictured a Bella able to walk away from a car crash, who would never wake in a hospital again, who would never have to fear needles, and casts and the other indignities of being human and injured.

And I came to the realization that all my fears of Bella leaving me once she became a vampire were groundless. They were my fears, not hers. And just like that, I felt very comfortable with the idea of Bella becoming a vampire.

I still thought she didn't know what she was getting into. I still thought that one day she might regret not having children. I still thought that it would be hard for her to say goodbye to her parents and friends and her life as a human. But I also knew that we would work through those problems together, as a team. I had promised her that we would face the consequences of her past together, but knew we would face every challenge that way. The promise I had made to Bella became a promise to myself as well. We would never need to be apart again.

As this feeling of contentment with the future spread through me like a warm blanket, I saw the thing I had been waiting for; one of Bella's fingers twitched. And then her eyelids fluttered. I held my breath, waiting to see if she would wake up. She'd come to momentarily in the ER when they had brought her in, but had been unconscious since then.

The fingers on her right hand twitched again, but as that hand was encased in a heavy plaster cast, the fingers on her left hand began to move. And as her eyes opened, her fingers went straight for the oxygen tube on her face.

"Why do you do that?" I asked her.

She stared at me, confused. I hadn't meant to start off by scolding her. She licked her lips, and said "It itches. I didn't know what it was. Umm, what happened?"

"You hydroplaned in the truck, ran through the ditch and into a tree. The seatbelt came apart at your shoulder and you hit the steering wheel and dash."

"Am I … okay?" She looked vaguely worried. I thanked whatever deity was listening for the pain medication she was on.

"Yes love, you will be. You broke your right wrist, and a few ribs. You have a concussion, and a few stitches, but that's the most serious problem. You should be able to go home soon."

"How long was I out for?" She looked incredibly disoriented, and I felt terrible for her. How upsetting it must be to wake up in a strange place, in pain.

"About 10 hours… it's 11pm."

"Oh. Right. I was going to cook dinner for Charlie… where is he?" Her brows drew together.

"Charlie got called over to Sappho today to help with a missing persons case. He's been out of contact all day. They finally got a hold of him about an hour ago, and he's on his way."

"Oh. That's good. Where is everyone else?"

"Alice and Rosalie are planning to come tomorrow morning. Alice said something about washing your hair? They would have stayed, but the hospital has very strict policies about overnight visitors. It's late," I added apologetically.

"Washing my hair sounds like heaven." Bella gave a small smile. "I hate hospitals."

"I know." I held the fingers of her right hand gently, avoiding the cast. "Carlisle and Esme stayed with me for a while this afternoon. I didn't want you to be alone. Emmett and Jasper send their love. They aren't really comfortable in hospitals."

She smiled a bit, and then drew her brows together again. "Wait, Carlisle was here this afternoon? Who's my doctor then?"

"Carlisle isn't allowed to treat family members, love. Conflict of interest, and against hospital policy. Your doctor is a colleague of his, she's very nice. Her name is Dr. Connor."

"Oh, right," She shook her head as though trying to clear the cobwebs, and winced.

I ran a finger gently across her cheek, as though it would soothe the pain. I didn't want to stop touching her. I needed to reassure myself that she really was here; that I hadn't lost her.

"I scared you, huh?" she said softly.

I realized that I'd been staring at her. And she knew me better than anyone.

"Yeah," I answered in an equally quiet voice.

It was moments like these that I hated having crystal clear memories. Memories of Alice's vision, seconds before the crash, memories of calling emergency services, trying to explain without telling them, "my sister saw it in a vision", and worst of all, memories of Bella being pulled from her truck, broken and unconscious.

"But, I'm going to be all right. You said so yourself."

"I know. I think your father will be here in a minute." I felt a moment of sympathy for Charlie as he came down the hall. His always vague thoughts were screaming terror and guilt for Bella. They were feelings I knew only too well.

His head came around the corner almost before his body, but it took a moment to find the strength to look up at Bella. He heaved a huge sigh to see her awake and aware and quickly crossed the room to sit beside her.

"Bella! Thank God you're all right. I got two different stories at the station in Sappho, and one said that they weren't sure… well, I'm just glad that you're okay. You are, right?" He looked at me for confirmation.

I nodded. I could hear what he had left unsaid - that a very heartless person had told Charlie Swan that they weren't sure his daughter had survived her car crash.

"I'm just banged up Dad, honest."

Reassured that Bella was all right, Charlie's fear moved to the back of his mind, and the guilt took over. "Bella, I need to apologize to you."

"Dad, I crashed my truck," she interrupted. "You can't take responsibility for that."

"Maybe not," he answered. "But I sure as hell can take responsibility for not getting it checked out by a real mechanic first."

Bella looked confused. I rubbed her hand gently.

"Bells," Charlie began, "When I bought the truck from Billy, I knew that Jake had done some work to it, but I assumed that he would have gotten professional help with anything big. But he didn't. He was the one who welded in the seatbelts - the truck didn't have any before that. And Jake knew that I wouldn't buy you a truck without seatbelts. I don't think he meant any harm - I'm sure he thought he'd done a great job - but it doesn't change the fact that I should have had someone look at the truck."

Bella looked horrified and betrayed, and I silently cursed my inability to know what she was thinking.

"But Dad, Jacob said he was glad he'd sold the truck, because Billy wouldn't let him buy the Rabbit till they did." My face darkened as I realized that once again, Jacob Black had endangered Bella. Not intentionally, but through carelessness, inattention and a plain lack of caring.

I must have made a noise, because both Bella and Charlie's heads swivelled around to stare at me.

"I know exactly how you feel," said Charlie, speaking to me directly for the first time since he'd arrived. "But a hospital's not the place for it. I can sit with Bella while you go and take a breather. The nurse said you've been here all day."

Unspoken was his gratitude and a grudging acceptance of my place in Bella's life. It seemed that being there for Bella when he wasn't able to earned me some respect.

I also knew that I would have to answer this question carefully despite how angry I was, because a human would be exhausted after everything I'd done today.

"My parents were here earlier," I said, "They made sure I looked after myself." Charlie's thoughts were sceptical, probably at the idea that I had been looking after myself, while Bella was unconscious. I looked terrible through his eyes. I was going to have to leave for a bit.

"Maybe I will take a little walk, clean myself up, and get something to eat."

Charlie's thoughts became impatient. I was fairly certain he wanted to speak to Bella alone. "The cafeteria is closed this time of night, but there's a little sandwich shop that's still open."

I nodded in thanks, and kissed Bella's forehead. She whispered, "Come back soon."

"I will".

I passed the nurses' station on my way out, ignoring their leering smiles and inappropriate thoughts.

"Bella's awake," I told the first nurse who looked up.

"Oh good," one of the senior nurses said. "I'll head on in and check on her."

One of the nurses who had been looking after Bella asked, "Going home?" _Of course he wouldn't stay after her father arrived._

"No," I said, struggling to answer her spoken question and not her thoughts. "I'm just going to get a sandwich or something. Chief Swan says there's a sandwich shop downstairs?"

_Wow, I wish my boyfriend was dedicated enough to sleep on a hospital cot for me… but then, these two are supposedly engaged, and Joe won't even talk about that… Oh! He's waiting for directions to the sandwich place!_

"Uh, yeah. It's just next to the Emergency Room entrance, past the parking garage."

"Thanks," I said, walking away. The nurses' thoughts expressed relief that I was going to eat something while deciding that it was very "sweet" how attached I was to Bella. Of course, in a hospital this small, with my father working here, and hers on the police force, they all knew who we were. They were also all amazed that "a teenage boy" had gone so long without eating. While I knew that there had been no way I could have left Bella while she regained consciousness, I was frustrated that my human façade had slipped. I knew better than that.

I wandered around the area of the sandwich shop for approximately 30 minutes. I hated to be away from Bella for so long, but rationally knew that she'd be fine with Charlie. I wasn't sure what Charlie wanted to say to her. I was also worried that she would try to talk to Charlie about what she'd remembered. I wanted to be there for her when she had that conversation. And I wasn't sure she was going to be able to deal with whatever answers Charlie might be able to give her. It wasn't smart to start this now, but Bella never did what I expected.

As I walked back down the corridor towards Bella's room, one of the nurses sighed, wondering to herself what Bella had done to deserve "_such a dreamboat_". I almost snorted. I wanted to tell her that Bella had risked her life for me, loved me when I couldn't love myself and was planning to give up everything else to marry me - but I was impatient to see Bella again.

Approaching Bella's room, I could hear that her heartbeat and breathing had slowed into familiar patterns. She was asleep. The nurse had removed the heart monitor, which I knew would make her happy.

Charlie was still sitting next to her bed, holding the hand with the IV. His thoughts were vaguely regretful and lonely, but not angry, so I assumed Bella had not brought up her time in foster care. I was curious to know how his conversation with Bella had brought on such a low mood.. I deliberately shuffled my feet as I neared the bed. Charlie's head came up and he stared at me for a moment.

"Edward, I need to be honest with you," he said in a low voice.

I nodded. His thoughts were bleak, but determined and I was afraid he was going to ask me to leave Bella - and that was not something I was able to do.

"I've never liked the idea of you dating Bella, but I kept my mouth shut after what happened in Phoenix. Until you left." I opened my mouth, but he quickly shushed me. "I don't really want to talk about that. You must know by now how badly you hurt her. I've never seen anything like it - and I was furious at you for a long time. I was even madder when you came back, because to her it was like you'd never left. But I don't forgive so easily. I'm her father and it's my job to keep her from getting hurt."

His words were like turning a knife of guilt. Clearer when he was speaking directly to me, I couldn't escape from the images his words conjured. Bella, laying in bed for days, sitting listlessly at the table pushing food around her plate, and screaming in her sleep.

"Admitting this just kills me, but you've been nothing but respectful and caring since you came back. She's never been so happy in all her life. She's always been a little too apart from the other kids, a little bit too lonely. She's kept herself separate from everyone and part of it is just who she is, I understand that. Another part of it comes from raising Renée." His distaste for this aspect of Bella and Renée's relationship surprised me. I knew, and Bella had said as much, that Charlie was still in love with Renée to some degree. I also knew, from what he had said before Bella and I went to Florida, that he didn't consider Renée to be a responsible parent - and I can't blame him.

"But since she's been with you, she's opened up more. She spends so much time with your family - it's good for her to have people to rely on. She smiles more. Honestly, I'm glad of it. It's scary to raise an only child that way… she hasn't had anyone else to rely on."

He stared at me intensely, and it seemed as if he must be able to see right through me. "Look after her."

I nodded, too full of emotion to speak.

"You're staying here?"

I nodded again, beginning to feel a bit like my head was on a spring.

"Then I'll head home. It's been a very long day. I'll be back when she wakes up."

His thoughts were full of longing and a desire for rest. He was tired I knew, but they were also peaceful. I was glad that he had told me what he had, although I still felt guilty about the future. If things worked out as planned, he didn't have much time left with Bella.

***********

Bella slept well through the night, waking only slightly when the nurses came in for routine checks. While I had to stay most of the night on the uncomfortable cot that had been set up, pretending to sleep, I always got up when the nurses came in. I wanted to know whatever they could tell me. They mostly said reassuring things, like "She's doing well" "Sleep will help her heal". Their thoughts were more reassuring, with most of them realizing that Bella would not need the oxygen tomorrow, and would likely not need the IV either. The thought made me smile. Needles terrified Bella - she would be glad to get rid of it.

Bella woke up just before morning rounds. "You're back!" She smiled, her voice much stronger than it had been the night before.

"I wasn't gone very long. Did you have a good talk with Charlie?"

"Yeah. He felt really guilty about the truck, and about how he's treated you. He told me that he's really happy that I have you, and that we're happy. It was kind of weird - almost like he knew that something was coming."

"He said almost the same thing to me when I got back." She looked shocked. "I wouldn't be surprised if he knows more then he lets on. You had to have inherited your perceptiveness from somewhere."

She was still giggling about that when her doctor came in, followed by Charlie.

"Dad!" Bella exclaimed happily.

"How are you feeling Bells?" he asked, bending over to gently hug her.

"I fine," she answered automatically.

I frowned. Usually when she said "I'm fine" it meant she wasn't.

We were interrupted by the doctor. "Good Morning Bella. I'm Dr. Connor. How are you feeling, without using the word fine?"

It was Bella's turn to frown. Dr. Connor had noticed my reaction to that word.

"I'm…" Bella paused, "better than yesterday. More awake feeling."

Dr. Connor nodded, nothing this on Bella's chart. She wasn't surprised. "We've lowered the dosage on your pain medication overnight. Any other complaints?"

Bella shook her head. "No, just a bit sore and achy. But I'd rather feel like this, then be sleepy again."

"A lot of people feel that way," agreed Dr. Connor. "Let's have a look at that hand."

The doctor began to examine Bella's injuries, beginning with manipulating the fingers of her right hand. She then removed the bandage to inspect the stitches on the bump on Bella's forehead. When her head was re-bandaged, the doctor looked up.

"I'm going to ask you gentlemen to leave for a minute, while I have a look at those cracked ribs."

Charlie and I stood quietly in the hallway while Dr. Connor helped Bella loosen her gown and examine her ribs, asking about her breathing, and how sore they were. Her thoughts were very quiet, and I was a little worried.

I must have looked worried, because Charlie fidgeted and said, "She'll be fine. She's a tough cookie."

I smiled at him and nodded. "I know. I just worry." I wanted to be honest with him, he'd been so honest with me.

"Good. Bella needs someone else to worry about her."

By the time Dr. Connor had Bella redressed and settled, she had her thoughts and recommendations in order.

"I'm going to ask your fiancé and your father back in, if that's all right with you, while I talk about what will likely happen in the next few days, but I wanted a quiet word to you first."

_This isn't easy to say… _"I know that you and Edward are supposed to be getting married in two weeks, but I'd like to tell you that you may want to reschedule."

I could see Bella's face pale through Dr. Connor's eyes.

"I know that that is the last thing you want to hear, but I want to be honest with you about a few things. First of all, your arm will be in a cast for the 6 weeks at best. Not so great for pictures."

Bella groaned. "They'll match the pictures of me in a walking cast from Junior Prom!"

Dr. Connor laughed gently. "Really? Oh, that would be when you fell down two flights of stairs and through a window in Phoenix last year?"

Bella blushed, and I noticed her eyes tense. She wasn't a good enough liar to fend off many questions about those injuries.

_I'd blush too, _thought the doctor, _that's embarrassing. Poor girl!_

"It says here that you had cracked ribs then too?"

Bella nodded again.

"Then you know that it will take about 6 weeks until you are feeling like yourself, and you'll have to take it easy. Any stress will restart your healing time over again. Therefore, while it's just us girls, I'm going to point out that you shouldn't be intimate while they are healing."

Bella blushed beet red, but said nothing.

"So, all in all, you'd have more fun on your honeymoon if you wait a bit. Where are you two planning to go, anyway?"

"I don't know," Bella practically growled, "It's supposed to be a surprise."

"Really?" _That's unusual_ "So, shall we ask the gentlemen to join us?"

"Sure."

I waited impatiently for Dr. Connor to come and find Charlie and I.

When we were seated on either side of Bella's bed, Dr. Connor began.

"All right. Bella is healing up very nicely. We'll be discontinuing the oxygen and IV this morning. This afternoon you'll head back down to x-ray. Provided that your wrist is looking good, we'll swap the plaster cast for a fibreglass one - they're lighter and more waterproof. The CT scan of your head we did yesterday didn't show any significant damage, and you seem fairly lucid today," she winked at Bella, " so as long and everything continues to look good, you should be ready to go home by tomorrow morning."

"That's great Bells!" Charlie was relieved.

"That's the good news," Dr. Connor continued, "The bad news is that her wrist will be in a cast for at least 6 weeks - you've broken that wrist before, correct?"

Bella nodded, but her whole face dropped. I knew she must be thinking about the broken wrist that had landed her in foster care, and looped my pinkie through her casted one in silent support.

The doctor was oblivious. "It was hard to set, so take it easy. Same goes for the ribs - no strain at all. Try not to cough, sneeze, laugh too hard - nothing. They'll re-break quite easily for the next little while. Give them a couple of months."

_He'd better not push her before she's ready,_ Dr. Connor thought fiercely, glaring at me.

I looked at Bella, "I guess this means we'll have to push the wedding back? We want you to be completely healed first."

Bella nodded glumly. _God - he looks that good and he's not a jerk? Well, he's Carlisle's son, if not by blood - I can't imagine Carlisle and Esme raising anyone to be unkind._

"Well, that's all I've got to say, so I'll leave you two to sort out the wedding details, unless you have any questions?"

Bella shook her head.

"Well, I'll be back later today to go over your x-rays." she said, as she headed out the door.

Bella took the oxygen tube off before the doctor could even get out of the door.

"What?" she asked as Charlie and I looked at her. "Dr. Connor said I could and it's itchy."

Charlie chuckled at her as my phone signalled that I'd received a text message. It was from Alice.

_**You should come home and change. Rose and I will go back with you. **_

"Who is it?" Bella asked.

"Alice. She wants me to come home for bit, and drive Rose and her back to see you a little later. I hate to leave you though."

Charlie looked at his watch. "Edward, you've been here for a very long time. You should head home and eat something and clean up. I'll keep Bells company." His thoughts were concerned and I was touched that he was being so considerate of me.

The nurse came in then and chatted cheerily to all of us. She did a great job keeping Bella distracted while she removed the IV from her left hand. When it was out and the nurse had gone, promising to bring a breakfast tray, I leaned over and kissed Bella.

"I'll be back soon. I'm sure Alice is eager to get in to see you."

"I know," she answered, lifting her now free hand to caress the back of my neck. "I'll miss you, but you need to go and change clothes. I can't believe you've been here since yesterday."

"I love you," I said, gently kissing her lips.

"I love you too." She smiled. "I'll see you soon."

I couldn't help but smile back as I walked out of her hospital room, knowing that she was fine, and I would be back to see her soon.

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**So there you go! I killed the truck but not Bella.**

**We should be getting some answers out of Charlie next.  
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	7. What Charlie Heard

**WARNING: If you are sensitive, Bella has two dreams in this chapter. They are both in italics, and skipping them does not effect the plot at all.**

**Thanks to all how have reviewed and added this to their favourite lists... you guys rock. Again, all signed reviews will get an advance teaser!**

**Thanks also to Jeannie for being an inspiration and cleaning up my mess!**

**I do not own Twilight.**

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**What Charlie Heard**

**BPOV**

Shortly after Edward left, I yawned. Charlie squeezed my now IV-free left hand. I suddenly realized that I wasn't wearing Edward's ring.

"Dad? Where's my ring?"

"What ring?" he asked, confused.

"My engagement ring."

"Right. I don't know," Charlie said. "Do you want me to go and ask the nurses?"

I nodded and he left the room. With Edward gone home, I wanted a visible reminder of him.

Charlie returned a minute later. "They gave it to Edward, after they took it off in the E.R.," he said. "I'm sure he'll give it back to you once he's done at home. He really needed a break though - boys need to eat!"

I nodded, hating that Edward had had to leave just to keep up appearances. I knew it was necessary, but that didn't mean I had to like it. I yawned again.

"You should probably take a nap, Bella." Charlie's voice was low and soothing, and I was tired. "If you sleep now, you'll be all rested up when that boy of yours comes back," he added a slightly more teasing tone. I smiled, but it was hard to keep my eyes open. I drifted quickly into a deep sleep full of dreams.

_I lay in bed. I was wearing my pretty new nightgown, but I was scared. I didn't remember why I was scared and it didn't make sense to be scared while I was in my own bed._

_I saw a light come on in the hall and could hear my heart pounding in my ears. I pulled the blankets over my head, but knew deep down that it wouldn't help. He was getting closer, I could hear his footsteps. The door creaked open, and he walked in._

"_How's my little love doing tonight?"_

"NO!" I screamed, trying to sit up in bed. "Oww." I had pulled at my ribs, and collapsed backwards.

"Bella! Are you all right?" Edward was leaning over my bed, looking concerned. Alice and Rosalie were sitting near the end of the bed.

"Yes. No. I don't know." A single tear traced down my cheek.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Rose asked.

"Yeah… about… you know." I shut my eyes, and took a deep breath. "God, I hate this."

"I know you do, love. I wish I could help."

"You do." My voice was a little dry. I needed a distraction.

"The nurse brought water and pills for you." Alice said brightly.

This had happened when I was in the hospital in Phoenix as well. Alice had been excellent help, but it was one of those situations she didn't really understand, because she couldn't remember being human. I think she took most of her ideas about what happens in hospitals from old movies.

"Do you want me to fluff your pillow?" Alice asked me excitedly.

I groaned. And sometimes I was sure she did it just for comic relief. She was distracting though.

"Let's just start with the pills Alice." I said sternly. I didn't want her to get carried away.

"Here you go." Rosalie was quickly at my side, handing the medication to me.

I swallowed down the pills and the little cup of water that was with them. I needed to change the subject.

"Edward, what happened to my truck?" I asked.

It worked. Three heads popped up.

Edward sighed. "They towed it to a mechanic, to have it evaluated for the insurance company. It's fixable, but the work would cost more than the value of the truck. So they are considering it a write off."

"Oh." I don't know why I was surprised. I sighed. "I'm going to miss that truck."

Rose snorted. Edward said "I won't."

"I know you didn't like my truck, but have a little respect." I said severely, beginning enjoy the familiar argument. "It's old."

"So am I, but I go faster than 55 miles per hour." Edward's eyes twinkled as he teased. "And I'm probably a lot safer for you."

Ah, the old safety argument.

"That truck is solid. It took a lot to destroy it!"

Rosalie stared at me. "Bella, did you take physics?"

"No, I took chemistry, and then biology. Met my fiancé there, remember?"

"Well, let me explain something to you. It's a lot safer for the car to crumple. Otherwise, chances are good that you will." She gestured to my broken wrist.

"Oh." I couldn't really argue with that. Who said she could get involved?

"_Oh_?" asked Edward. "_Oh_? I've been having this conversation for two years, Rose gets involved, and all you can say is _Oh_?"

"Well, you've never said that before. I don't have an argument for it."

He got a sneaky gleam in his eye, "Does this mean you're getting a new car?"

I groaned. "Edward… I really and truly appreciate the thought, but I don't want you to buy me a new car… I'll feel so conspicuous. Enough people are already staring at me… I don't need more of an audience."

Alice started with "Bella, you shouldn't worry so much about…" but was interrupted by Rosalie.

"So this whole time, the only thing that has kept you driving that old clunker was you worrying that you would be stared at?"

My cheeks burned. "No, I really liked it, and Charlie bought it for me, to welcome me to Forks."

"Okay, whatever. Now the truck is gone. So you need something else, but you are worried that Edward is going to go overboard."

"Yes," I said, not looking at him, "I think he'll try to get me something like a tank…" I peeked up at him. His face was carefully blank. I groaned again. "I don't even want to know what you are thinking of."

He didn't move. Alice gave a little laugh. "No, you don't. Edward, that won't work - I think she'd rather walk."

"Edward, all she needs is a nice new reliable vehicle. Nothing fancy, because otherwise she won't drive it. Can you imagine the trouble she would get into walking around Forks?" said Rosalie, sounding terribly reasonable.

Edward put his head in his hands. I smiled when he groaned. He didn't seem to like Rosalie's interference. any more than I did.

"Ok, so here is what Bella needs in a new car; inconspicuous, easy to drive, something she feels comfortable in, with reliable safety features."

Edward and I both nodded. Rose had a sly smile on her face and I suspected she had something up her sleeve.

"Rose, yes! That's it! Why didn't I think of that?" Alice started bouncing in her seat.

"The Volvo?" Edward looked at Rose.

"What's the Volvo got to do with anything?" I asked.

"Well, you like the Volvo, don't you? Doesn't make you want to make a run for it or anything?" said Rosalie.

"I like the Volvo," I admitted, "So?"

"So," Rosalie said, "I think that Edward should give you the Volvo, and buy himself something new."

I opened my mouth to protest - and shut it again. I did like the Volvo. It reminded me of Edward, and all our awkward beginnings. Of driving home from Port Angeles, asking each other a thousand questions on the way to school, being rescued from attack, of discussing stars and twilight and finding out the truth about Edward.

Plus, it was a familiar sight around town, and I knew no one would stare.

"Rose, you've rendered her speechless," laughed Alice.

"What do you think, love. Would you like the Volvo?" He saw the look on my face - I still didn't like the idea of a huge expensive gift - and changed tactics, "Would you accept the Volvo?"

I made the mistake of looking up. I was caught in twin pools of molten gold, begging me to say yes. I'd had conditions, stipulations, sarcastic comments - but all that came out was a faint, "Yes." He'd dazzled me again.

"Yes!" crowed Alice. "Rose, I knew you'd be the one to do it!"

"Do what?" I asked.

"Solve the puzzle of 'Who can get Bella to drive a prettier, safer, quieter vehicle?'" Alice wasn't even looking at me as her fingers flew over the keys of her cell phone. She was texting the 'good' news to Jasper most likely.

"Was it really that bad for you?" I asked Edward.

He considered his words carefully. "Bella, I don't think that you've had time to realize that if you'd been driving something like the Volvo during this accident, you likely would have been able to walk away. Working seat belts and airbags make a significant difference. I worry about you -always. So yes, it really was that bad." His fingers traced up and down my cast, feather light. His eyes were so sad; it really bothered him that I was hurt.

"All right." I said, giving up a useless fight. "Yay Volvo," I added sarcastically.

Edward quirked a smile at me, and my heart melted.

My lunch arrived then, Cream of Mushroom soup, and a tuna sandwich. After lunch, an orderly arrived to wheel me down to be X-rayed. The Cullen's weren't allowed to come with me, so they headed out to "play human" and pretend to get some lunch.

They hadn't returned when I got back. I was tired after all the activity, and that, combined with the meds I'd taken with my lunch sent me straight to sleep.

_Bed. I'm in bed. The blanket is heavy, pinning me down. I try to get away, but the words are there. I hate those words. _

_I can't go anywhere. There isn't anywhere to go. There isn't anyone to help. My face is wet with tears and I sniff and concentrate on the hall light. _

I came awake gradually, trying to shake the fear from my dream. Someone was calling my name.

"Bella, Bella, love. Wake up." Edward's hand was on my shoulder, gently shaking me.

"Wha?" I said as my eyes came open.

"It's all right Bella, you're safe now. Open your eyes love, I'm here." Edward's voice was so soothing. My eyes came open, and he looked relieved. "Were you having a nightmare?" he asked.

I nodded, my heart was still pounding with left over fear.

"I thought so, but you didn't say anything. I was worried that I was waking you from a good sleep, but your were…twitching and you didn't look happy, and it just… felt wrong."

It never stopped amazing me how much time Edward had spent watching me sleep, and how attentive he was to my every mood and facial expression. Sometimes I found it embarrassing, but in this case I was glad. Awake was better.

"No, I'm glad you woke me."

"Does it happen every time you go to sleep?" he asked gently.

"Yes. It's just… I don't even know what's happening. Nothing's clear, and nothing happens, it's just… I'm a little girl and I'm in my bed and I'm afraid and something's coming for me and…"

I stopped talking and shut my eyes, trying not to cry.

"I know, love. I'm so sorry."

I wiped my face. "Why are you sorry? This isn't your fault. You've been nothing but fantastically supportive, even when my dumb ass driving skills land me in the hospital, and this isn't your fault. You don't need to apologize." I sighed "I just need to know what happened."

"I know. Charlie should be here before suppertime, and if you want to ask him them, I'll be here with you. I love you Bella."

"I love you too. It just seems like such a long time to wait, and I'm so scared about what he'll say…" my voice trailed off.

"I know love. How would you feel about some visitors to distract you while you are waiting?"

"What kind of visitors?" I asked.

"Well, Alice and Rosalie are still here, and Carlisle and Esme are with them."

"Where are they?"

"Sitting out by the nurses' station."

"How long have they been there?" I was horrified at the thought of Edward leaving his family waiting while I slept.

"Not long love. Don't worry they don't mind."

"Maybe they don't, but I do! How long?"

He sighed. "I sent them out before I woke you up. I thought you would need some privacy."

"Oh." While I appreciated the gesture, I didn't appreciate Edward not answering my questions.

He looked down, and sat so uncomfortably that it was easy to believe that he was 17 years old. He looked like a kid who'd been sent to the principal's office.

"What's wrong?" I asked more gently.

He looked up at me, and in his eyes I saw more than a lifetime of loneliness and sorrow.

"Bella, I feel so guilty that I didn't listen to you. If I'd done as you asked and changed you without setting up conditions, then none of this would have happened. You wouldn't remember any of this, and even if you were in a car accident, you'd have been fine. So I was thinking while you were unconscious and… I won't put any more conditions on your change. You don't have to marry me. I just want you, and I want you forever."

I was stunned. "Edward, I want you forever too. But none of this is your fault. You can't take responsibility for every bad thing that has ever happened to me. I had a car accident because I wasn't paying close enough attention to the road. I am hurt because apparently I've been stubbornly refusing to understand that my truck was unsafe to drive. And I want to marry you. Maybe not in the same way you want to marry me, but I do."

I reached out to take his hand in my mine, and realized I still didn't have my engagement ring back. "I really mean it… I even asked Charlie to find out what happened to my engagement ring when you went home." I looked at him expectantly.

He smiled, some of the tension going out of his body. "Isabella Marie Swan, I love you. You make everyday better than the last and I don't want to spend a single moment away from you for the rest of eternity. Will you marry me?"

"Of course I will. I love you Edward." I couldn't help the grin spreading across my face as Edward pulled him mother's ring out of his pocket and slipped it onto my finger.

"Aww," said Alice from the doorway. "You guys are so cute!" She bounced into the room, followed by Rosalie, Esme and Carlisle. Esme gave me a hug.

"How are you feeling sweetheart?" she asked. "Do you need anything?"

I shook my head. "Just a visit is wonderful."

"Well, of course we'd visit," she said in a mildly shocked voice, "We're family, we love you." Talking to Esme was always like being wrapped in a warm hug. She took my hand. "That ring truly suit's the shape of your hand, don't you think girls?"

"Yeah," said Rosalie, bending closer to examine it, "If any of the stones were bigger they'd stick up off your hand too far."

"You've got skinny hands like me," added Alice, "It's a pain to find rings that don't look silly."

"Do you have a ring?" I asked. It occurred to me that I had no idea if Alice and Jasper had ever had a wedding.

"Of course I do. Jasper and I got married about a month after we met." I gaped at her and she shrugged. "We both knew it was forever, and well, I wanted a last name that really belonged to me. I'd been using Smith when I had to make something up." A shadow crossed her sunny face, but it quickly passed. "I love my ring - I'll show it to you the next time you come to the house. I just can't wear it to high school everyday - people would notice."

I looked down at my beautiful ring. One day I would have to leave it at home, just like Alice.

"Does it bother you?" I asked.

"No." she smiled. "I know what's between Jasper and I, and I don't need a ring to make it real."

I smiled back. "What about you?" I asked Rosalie. She smiled too.

"Well, Emmett and I have been married 8 times. I love weddings, and Alice and Esme love planning them. So far I've got three rings - my favourite is a diamond solitaire." Rose was gushing. I smiled more; this was a side of her I'd never seen. "We had to wait through his newborn year to really get together though."

"Was it hard to wait?"

"Not as hard as you might think. Emmett as a newborn was…" she trailed off.

"Interesting," supplied Carlisle.

"Interesting?" asked Edward incredulously, "try insane, insatiable, fast as heck and strong enough to tear a mountain apart."

"He did keep us busy," mused Esme fondly.

"And kept a lot of skills in top form," added Carlisle.

"Because we spent the bulk of our time either herding him towards animals or chasing him away from humans!" Edward looked a touch exasperated, but his eyes were smiling.

"So, the point is," continued Rosalie, "We all, even me, had more to think about than weddings and the things that go with them. Even once he'd calmed down, it took him a while to ask me, because of, well, you know."

I nodded. I would imagine that knowing Rose's story would make asking her to marry him had been very intimidating for Emmett. Rosalie made a face at the memory, and then brightened up. "My first wedding was so beautiful, Bella. I had the prettiest dress!"

I laughed at her enthusiasm. Carlisle and Esme were holding hands and smiling.

"What about you two?" I asked, deciding to round things out.

"Well, I met Carlisle when I was 16, while I was still human." Esme said.

"Really?" this surprised me.

"Yes. He set my leg for me, I'd broken it climbing out of a tree. I loved him even then. But I didn't see him again, so I got married. My first husband… well, he wasn't a kind man."

"When they brought her into the morgue," said Carlisle, taking over. "I'd thought she was beautiful when I'd met her, with such a gentle soul. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. I was so happy when I realized that her heart was still beating - I didn't even thing about it. I probably should have." he made a wry face, "Edward was only a few years old at that point, and was more likely to need help than to be able to give it. That was also a busy year."

"Esme was sneaky, that was the problem," Edward laughed. "At least I'd growl or snap; she'd just take off."

"I was scared that Carlisle didn't feel the same way that I did. I thought he'd never ask me to marry him. But he did. And we were married in a beautiful old Anglican church. It was a lovely ceremony in the middle of winter. Carlisle bought me a white fur wrap, it was such a lovely soft thing." She held out her hand, showing me the beautiful ring that she wore. "I've only had one ring from him, and that's all I've ever wanted." She gazed lovingly into her husband's eyes.

When I looked away, Alice was staring into space. "Charlie will be here in about 30 minutes." she announced. A chill ran down my spine and I saw Edward shift beside me. I didn't want to talk about it with his family and changed the subject.

"What's in the bag?" I asked Alice, pointing the canvas bag under her chair.

"That dry shampoo stuff, like what we used in Phoenix. I know you're going home tomorrow, and it didn't look like you'd want to bother, but there was a chance you'd change your mind, and I wanted to be prepared."

"No thanks. I'll just have to go home grubby. You can be in charge of helping me shower there."

She laughed. "You're right. Oh, and all this talk about weddings reminds me, we need to start rescheduling yours."

I groaned. "Is it going to be hard to do?" I didn't want her to be stressed out over it.

"Oh no, I'll call in a few favours, it'll be lovely. It'll just take a few phone calls." Alice assured me.

Edward smiled, "And by a few, you mean a few hundred?"

Esme interrupted. "Why don't Rose and I head home with you and see what we can do to help?"

A quick flurry of bags and hugs and Esme, Rose and Alice headed out.

Carlisle bent to hug me. "My shift is starting soon, so I'm going to go now too. I'm glad that you are feeling better and let me know if you need anything." I nodded. He left.

Edward and I stared at each other. "Bella, you don't have to do this tonight if you don't want to."

"Edward, I need to know, I'm just scared."

"I know, love."

"What if he says I've made the whole thing up?"

"Then we will deal with that. But I really doubt it will happen."

"I'm just so scared to talk to him."

"Bells? Who are you scared to talk to?" Charlie had arrived. I gulped.

"Charlie? I need to talk to you."

"About what, Bells?" He was frowning. Edward held my hand in his. I took a deep breath and tried to form words, but they wouldn't come.

"Bells, what's wrong?"

"Dad, do you remember the last time I broke my wrist?" I blurted out.

Whatever Charlie had been expecting it wasn't this. His face fell, and he sat heavily in the other chair. Rubbing a hand over his face, he cleared his throat.

"Why are you bringing this up now, Bella?"

"Because I need to know what happened… I don't remember enough…and…I think I remembered more a few days ago, but I don't understand it, and I just…" I bit back a sob. I needed to stay in control for the moment. Edward began to rub my hand.

"Oh Bells, didn't your mother talk to you about all this?" Charlie's eyes got wider.

"No - never. I didn't remember anything other than spending time in foster care, but I didn't know why…" I choked. Edward took over.

"She knows that Renée has most of the answers, but she wanted to talk to you first, and get your side of it."

Charlie looked sick. He swallowed loudly, took a deep breath and began. "I didn't notice anything until you came up to see me the summer before you turned 7, and even then I didn't know what was up. It was a lot of little things, and I didn't know what to make of it at the time. You were jumpy as heck, and wouldn't talk much. You'd never been an outgoing kid, but I couldn't take you anywhere new, or get you to talk to the people you did know.

"God, Bells, you were like a different kid. You were homesick for the first time. You wouldn't go to bed without a fight, you'd be up in the middle of the night, you wet the bed, you had nightmares. I think that summer was when you started talking in your sleep, but I couldn't make anything out. You wouldn't eat. I really thought you were just going through a difficult stage, and figured it was bound to happen. You'd always been such an easy going kid - no parents are that lucky." He rubbed a hand over his face.

"Now, of course, I see it. But back then we didn't do training on identifying signs of abuse and even if I had, I don't know if I would have been able to admit that it was happening to my own kid. I'm so sorry Bella."

Silent tears were streaming down my cheeks.

"I sent you back to Phoenix, and your mother said she was dealing with a few of the same things. " He sighed. "Then you broke your wrist. I got a call from Renée telling me you'd broken it and that they were going to set it. I hated when you got hurt, so far away, but it'd happened before. Not an hour later Renée called me back in an absolute panic saying that you were being taken into foster care for suspected abuse.

"Honestly, my heart stopped. Renée was hysterical, and she wasn't making any sense. I did manage to get the name of your social worker. She wasn't able to tell me much more. She said that because I was out of state, they would wait and see if long term care was needed - if so, you would have come to me."

Edward shifted beside me, still gently rubbing my broken hand. I swallowed again.

He looked at me desperately. "Bells, you have to believe me. I would have fought for you. I wouldn't have left you with strangers. But the social worker, Sophia, called a few days later to say that they couldn't prove anything, and you were being returned to your mother's custody. She said that as always, I had the "right" to challenge for custody through the courts.

"When I called Renée to find out what had gone on, she wouldn't say much - just that her boyfriend was suspected. I told her to break up with him, and she said that they were breaking up. I threatened to go for full custody and she laughed at me and said that no judge in their right mind would take a girl from her mother. I knew she was right. I'm sorry if that was wrong." Charlie's voice got huskier as he finished making the longest speech I had ever heard from him.

"I don't understand how you wouldn't remember it though Bella. You went to therapy."

I shook my head. The room had taken on a strange, dream like quality. "No, I didn't."

Charlie frowned. "Bella, I sent money for therapy, you must have gone. The next summer you were… not back to normal, but more who you are now. A little quieter than before, but not so… upset all the time. No more fighting…"

"No I didn't go," I said. "I'm sure of it. I remember most of what you said, I know I would remember therapy. I don't remember exactly what happened to me, but I KNOW I didn't got to therapy."

Next to me, Edward had gone vampire still. Charlie's face got redder and redder. "Fucking Renée," he muttered under his breath. "What the hell was she thinking?"

I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach; Renée's betrayal was now confirmed.

"Dad, it's not your fault. You did everything you could have." I let go of Edward and reached out to take Charlie's hand. "Thank you for everything. You've always been a great Dad, and I love you." Perversely, I was grateful for this opportunity to share my feelings with my easily embarrassed father. He needed to know before I was gone; I didn't want him to blame himself.

Charlie's face had gone a concerning shade of red.

"Love you too, Bells," he said gruffly, the persona of Chief Swan reasserting itself. "You'll always be my little girl, even you when you are married." he added, bending over the bed for a hug.

He sat back down and his expression darkened. "So, what brought all this on? Breaking your wrist again?"

Edward answered for me. "No. She had a flashback at my house a couple of days ago, and a much clearer nightmare that night. She's had a few more nightmares since then." Edward looked at me to confirm and I nodded.

Charlie looked confused for a moment and then his face exploded with shock when he realized what Edward and I had been doing when I'd had the first flashback. No father wants to think about his daughter's sex life. It was too much.

"You…oh…really…Bella…you…" He was almost hyperventilating when he gave a big sigh. "I'm so sorry Bella." He said again.

His pager started to beep. He checked it automatically, but didn't move. For the first time that I could remember Chief Swan looked like he might leave the citizens of Forks to their own devices. In the end, I knew he wouldn't - and I wouldn't want him to. A second later he was standing up.

"I should go -domestic disturbance - that'll be Carl and Shirley. I won't leave if you want me to stay though Bells."

"You should go Dad. I really need some time to think anyway. And Edward is here if I need anything."

He bent to kiss my cheek, promising to come back the next day to take me home.

When he was gone, I looked at Edward. He looked sad. Neither of us spoke for a long time. Finally, an orderly delivered my supper.

"Bella, you should eat something." Edward coaxed, opening the dinner tray. Dry roast beef, instant mashed potatoes, canned peas… the look of it turned my stomach and I gagged, successfully holding back vomit. Vomiting wouldn't do my ribs any good and would hurt.

Edward, in the second I'd be fighting my body, had shoved the food tray out of the way, and picked up the metal garbage can, obviously prepared to catch if he had to.

"It's over. I won't puke." I said.

"Are you sure?" asked Edward. When I nodded, he put the garbage can back. "Good, I was worried that you were going to put a rib through your lung." He kissed my forehead. "Bella, are you all right?"

"I don't know. I'm not going to be sick, and I'm not sad… it's just so much. And I still don't have much information. I'm still going to have to talk to Renée. Edward, how am I going to talk to Renée? How am I going to look at her and ask her why I didn't remember that I was molested? How?"

"I don't know, love. We'll get through it though. I'm here for you." I leaned into his rock hard shoulder. I couldn't even cry.

Edward's cell phone beeped.

"I thought you weren't supposed to use those in a hospital?" I asked.

"Alice would let me know if it would be a problem," he said absently. He looked a little upset.

"What is it?"

"A text from Alice." He frowned. I started to worry.

"I thought so. What does it say?" I held my breath, expecting the worst.

"Renée is coming here. She'll arrive tomorrow."

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**Ah Renée.... that should be interesting.**

**All the wedding stories are as close to canon as I can remember... I've taken artistic license where appropriate!**

**Hit that review button... you know you want a teaser!  
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	8. What Renee Revealed

**Hey all! Sorry for the long wait, but life is like that!**

**This is the big one, the most disturbing chapter in the story... and the most informative. Get the tissues ready!**

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**What Renee Revealed**

**BPOV**

I settled onto the couch with a sigh. I'd been excited to leave the hospital this morning until I realized that meant walking from the cruiser to the couch. Every step pulled at my ribs, and there wasn't much anyone could do about it. I wouldn't let Edward carry me in – it would look strange.

It didn't help that Charlie had confirmed what Alice had seen last night. Renée was coming to Forks. Apparently, she'd been thinking about coming up to help with final wedding preparations, and then when I'd had my accident, she'd decided I needed her. I disagreed, but apparently I didn't get a vote. I hadn't been in a very good mood since then. Charlie was heading to the airport soon to go and pick her up. My only saving grace was that she was going to stay in the Forks Motel instead of sleeping on the couch of Charlie's tiny house.

"Bells?" asked Charlie from his recliner, "when are you due for pain medication next?"

"About fifteen minutes," I said, squinting at the clock on the ancient VCR.

"Edward, would you mind running to the pharmacy and getting her prescription filled?"

Edward looked surprised, but nodded. "Sure. Should I pick up anything else while I'm there?"

Charlie looked flustered. "Ummm… no, we should be good."

"Okay then, I'll be back soon." He bent and kissed me before he picked up his keys and headed out the door.

I looked at Charlie expectantly.

He stared at his hands. He looked like he was expecting a scolding.

"Bella, uh, did I, uh, offend, um, Edward yesterday?"

I stared at him blankly. What was he worried about?

"When I was talking to you yesterday, what I said about getting you out of foster care - he didn't think that I meant anything against Carlisle and Esme?"

It finally clicked. The Cullen's cover story of course was that Carlisle and Esme had adopted the rest out of foster care.

"Dad - Carlisle and Esme aren't foster parents. - Edward and the rest are adopted." I didn't know why I felt the need to explain this, but I did.

Charlie continued on, determined to make his point. "I just didn't want him to think I was speaking rudely about foster parents. Some of them are great. From everything Renée said, yours were very nice people."

I nodded.

"It's just… I know I haven't always been the nicest to Edward, but he's really proven himself lately, and I didn't want him to think that I was going to go back to treating him like I used to. There's nothing wrong with being adopted."

I gave Charlie a little smile. "He really hasn't said anything about it, Dad. I'll ask him when he comes back though, all right? I'm sure he knew what you meant."

"Thanks Bells." He settled into his recliner, remote in hand, and then looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "What happened to Edward's parents anyway? Are they still out there somewhere?" I was amazed at how easily Charlie and I were talking about difficult topics. Guilt combined with curiosity were powerful motivators to get Charlie to talk.

"Oh. Umm, no. They died a long time ago." I looked down at my hands. I hated having to lie to Charlie. "Edward doesn't remember them very clearly." There. That was all the truth.

"That's a sad story." said Charlie, his voice suspiciously gruff. He turned the TV on.

One sports news update later Edward came through the door.

"I'm sorry that I came in without knocking, Chief Swan," he said, setting several bags down on the kitchen table. "I was hoping that Bella would be sleeping and I didn't want to take a chance of waking her."

"Call me Charlie. What's all this?" Charlie asked, looking at the bags.

"Well, Bella's prescription says it has to be taken with food. You have to pick Renée up at the airport, I can't cook much, and Bella is supposed to be resting, so I picked up some snacks." He dug through one bag, pulling out a familiar box. "Pop tarts!" he said with a triumphant smile.

I couldn't help but smile back.

"Oh… well, that was very thoughtful Edward. You should ask Bella to give you some cooking tips when she's feeling better…" he trailed off awkwardly. I laughed to myself. It felt good to have Charlie trying to get along with Edward.

Charlie looked nervously at the microwave clock. "I'm going to head out now Bells, if I'm going to meet Renée's flight in Seattle."

My good mood evaporated, and I frowned. Edward gave me a sympathetic look as he quickly put the rest of the snacks away and joined me in the living room. Charlie sighed, and came over to the couch to kiss my cheek. "It'll all work out Bella. You'll see."

"Thanks Dad," I said, not really believing him. How could this 'work out'?

Charlie said goodbye to Edward as he gathered his keys, and then he headed out the door.

Edward looked at me. "Time for a Pop Tart and some pills?"

I made a face, but nodded. Edward got up, and opened the package. I giggled at the sight of him reading the box. "Just stick them in the toaster and push the button down." I instructed from the couch. He did, looking all the while like he was handling a bomb that could go off at any moment.

A few minutes later, he came back, carrying a plate with Pop Tarts and pills in one hand and a glass of water in the other. "Eat Bella," he ordered. I did. The Pop Tart was a nice sweet treat after a couple of days of hospital food. I took the pills like a good patient when Edward handed them to me. I didn't say anything, and Edward seemed lost in thought as well.

Finally, he asked, "What was Charlie worried about? Something about me?"

"He thought you might be offended by what he said yesterday about not wanting to leave me in foster care."

"Why?" He looked startled.

"Well, that is your cover story in Forks, right? Adopted by Carlisle and Esme out of foster care?"

"Well, yeah, but even if I was, I wouldn't be offended. No one should stay in foster care if they have a competent loving parent to care for them."

"I know. He's just worried that you'll think he's gone back to hating you." I smiled. I liked not having to worry about Charlie being mean to Edward.

"It's nice that he's being polite. But even when he wasn't, it didn't really matter to me. I love you, and nothing your father says can stop that."

"I love you too." I yawned.

"Bella, you should take a nap." Edward said gently.

"I know, but I'm scared." I shivered. Nightmares had plagued me last night, and I really wasn't in the mood to do it again.

"I'll wake you the second I think you are having a bad dream," Edward promised.

"Will you be right here?" I asked, grabbing his shirt. Some awkward, and mildly painful moving around later, we were cuddled up together on the couch. Edward's arm was wrapped around me, and he began to hum my lullaby. My eyes drifted closed.

_I cringed away from the weight on my bed. I cringed away from __HIS voice. I tried to stay as still as possible, pretending that nothing was happening._

"_Bella," said two voices. One was HIS voice, and I shook in terror at the sound. The other was more familiar. Soft and velvety. Why did I know that voice? "Bella, wake up." The velvety voice said__ again. Wake up?_

I snapped my eyes open. Edward was there, and he'd woken me, just as he'd promised. I sighed.

"The same dream?" he asked softly.

I nodded. "Mostly. Nothing happens really, I'm just so scared. I hate it."

"I know. I don't know what to tell you." Edward sighed too. I felt bad that he looked so helpless.

"There's nothing to say. You do so much to help me. You really do." I squeezed his cold hard hand.

I sighed again. "Edward, do you think that there's something wrong with me?"

He looked confused. "Because you are having nightmares? I think that's normal under the circumstances Bella."

"No, because I forgot all this. I just keep wondering, what kind of person just forgets being.. molested?" It was the first time I had said the word out loud.

"Bella, it's normal for humans to repress things that are hard to deal with. And didn't you tell me after what happened in Port Angeles that you are good at repressing unpleasant things? What happened in Phoenix never seemed to bother you after the fact either." He grimaced at this. He'd really wanted me to have issues after that. He thought it would make me leave him; that my fear would keep me safe from him.

"I know. I guess… I just never expected any of it to catch up with me. It's scary to think that that stuff could catch up with me like this has."

"I know Bella, but I don't think it will."

I sighed again as the front door opened, and Alice danced in.

"Hello! Are you two all done with the serious stuff now? Because Bella needs to have some lunch, and I'm here to help with a shower."

"Oh, yes please. A shower sounds wonderful!" I felt the low mood I'd been in start to lift a bit at the idea of getting clean.

"All right then. Bella and I are going to go upstairs and get her all nice and clean, and you, Edward, are going to heat up a can of soup on the stove. You are going to read all the directions and you are going to stir it or else it will burn."

Edward smiled at his bossy sister, rolled his eyes, and nodded. Alice helped me to my feet and we headed upstairs.

A short while later I was clean, dressed in fresh pajamas, with my hair combed out and braided neatly. It hurt more than I was willing to admit to, and it was always embarrassing to be so dependant on someone else for simple things like washing. Alice was really good at making it all seem normal. (She wasn't embarrassed, so why should I be?) It was all worth it though, to feel clean again.

Edward propped me up on the couch with pillows and sat next to me as I balanced the tray with soup and drink. I knew he was waiting to catch my lunch when I spilled it and was grateful. I held the spoon awkwardly in my left hand. The soup tasted good. (and wasn't burnt. Alice had yelled down the stairs.)

The phone rang, and Edward got up to answer it, taking the now empty tray with him.

"Hello?"

"Hi Charlie?"

"Yup, she's fine, she's slept a bit and Alice came by to help her get showered."

"I'll let her know. I'm sure she'll be glad to hear that."

"Well, you know what I mean."

"All right, we'll see you shortly."

He hung up, and looked at me.

"Charlie and Renée are at the hotel and she is going to check in and drop off her bags, and then they will come here."

I nodded. I was determined not to freak out. I needed to talk to my mother. She was going to answer my questions.

Alice stood up. "I'm going to go now." She lightly kissed my cheek. "I'm sure it will be fine." I nodded, knowing she couldn't see anything until Renée decided what to say.

Edward sat behind me on the couch again. I took another deep breath.

"I'm going to stay calm. I'm not going to freak out. I'm not going to yell at her."

His hand rubbed the back of my neck, tracing random patterns. We sat without speaking. I was glad that I was clean, it made me feel less helpless, less vulnerable.

A car door shut in the driveway, and then another. They were here.

"Bella? Bella, sweetie? Are you sleeping?" Renée called out from the door. A wave of homesickness overwhelmed me and I whimpered under my breath. No matter how my mind had demonized her over the past few days, she was still my mother. Edward wrapped an arm around me and gently hushed me.

Renée came into the living room. "There you are Bella! How are you feeling?"

"I'm… all right Mom." I let her hug me, awkward around Edward's arms. I was glad he didn't let go. Charlie waved and said he had to go to work. He left.

"Do you need anything?" Renée fussed. "Water? Have you been taking your vitamins? It's very important to have all your minerals and nutrients to heal."

Vitamins and supplements were Renée's latest fad.

"I brought some homeopathic arnica pellets, they're suppose to help with bruises and breaks."

I took the sweet little pills she offered, knowing it was easier to take them than to argue.

"Edward, it's nice to see you again. Have you been looking after Bella?"

"I try." Edward's voice was polite, but curt.

"Are you terribly disappointed about the wedding date needing to be changed? Are there any other relatives who needed to rebook their tickets? Have you picked a new date yet? I was talking to Esme but she says they are waiting on your decision."

"Since Bella was only released from hospital this morning, we haven't had a chance to discuss that yet." Edward was upset and his voice was getting colder and more formal by the second.

"Relax Mom. Alice can work wonders. We'll get it sorted out later."

Renée sat down and began to talk about all the problems with air travel, how lucky for Phil and his broken leg that the wedding was delayed "He'd be so disappointed if he wasn't able to be there!" and how she still couldn't believe that we were getting married so young.

"I know I always joked that you were born middle aged Bella, but I did think I warned you about the dangers of getting married so young." She waved a finger at Edward. "You must have done some pretty fast talking to convince my Bella to walk down the aisle with you."

I was horrified. Renée's overbearing attitude about the wedding was embarrassing, I desperately wanted to ask her about what happened with Steven and I knew Edward's nerves were frayed and he would snap at her if I didn't make her stop talking. I didn't want to end up in a situation where I would feel compelled to defend Renée. I was done defending Renée.

The panic welled up inside me and I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"What happened to the money that Charlie sent for therapy after I was in foster care?"

Renée turned so pale I thought she might pass out. "Bella, why are you… what? Surely you don't want to talk about … that… now, just before you get married! I mean, you already know that story!" She gave a nervous little laugh, as though I had told a bad joke.

"No Mom," I ground out from between my teeth. "I don't. I didn't remember a thing about it until earlier this week."

"What do you mean? You didn't remember? You… oh… oh my God." Renée covered her mouth with her hand.

I started to shake with emotion, and just like he had when I talked to Charlie, Edward asked what I couldn't.

"Bella's been having nightmares about what happened, and she's remembered bits and pieces, but she not sure on the details."

Renée's mouth opened and closed like a fish.

"Why don't you start by telling us how you met this … Steven." Edward injected his name with venom. Renée shot Edward a scared look, but she began to talk.

"His friend was dating my friend. We met at a bar. It was hard to find guys my age who weren't turned off when I said I had a little girl. Steven said that he could tell I had a child - I looked like a natural mother. He told me that he loved children. We went out a few times and I introduced him to Bella shortly after."

Edward gave a very quiet snort.

"I don't remember meeting him. Did we go out?" I said quietly. We usually went out to meet Renée's new boyfriends. I could vividly remember the steakhouse we'd gone to when she'd introduced me to Phil.

She looked guiltily at her hands, and made a face like she was trying not to cry. "We went to a McDonald's - one with a playground. He went on the slide with you. Bought you an extra ice cream when you dropped the first one. I was so happy that you were getting along."

I was lost in thought. When Charlie and I had talked, I had remembered things as he told me about them. I could now vaguely remember having a tantrum at bedtime, and waking him in the middle of the night after a nightmare. As Renée spoke I could see Steven in my mind - not the terrifying HIM who haunted my dreams, but the funny friend who bought me an ice cream.

"Charlie said he noticed that I was different, did you?" I asked, still unable to meet her eye.

She made an angry face. "Of course he did. Charlie though you were different every year - what would he know?"

Hot, angry tears welled up in my eyes. "Did you notice anything Renée?" I growled. It was the first time I'd called her by her first name to her face. She gasped as though I'd slapped her.

"I, I, did, I just didn't know what I was noticing," she stuttered.

"Like what?" I tried to keep my voice under control. If I broke down, I knew she'd try to hug me and I really didn't want her to touch me right now.

"Well, it was lots of things. You and Steven seemed to get along so well. I broke my rule and let him sleep over really early on. You were so happy to see him that first morning, I thought I'd made a good decision. We all went to brunch. He suggested that we all dress up; he convinced you to wear a dress."

I remembered it as she spoke. I'd been watching Power Rangers, and he came and sat beside me. He'd known the characters' names. I'd been so impressed. He'd hugged me - a little too tight? It was too easy to question everything in hindsight.

"What else?" Edward asked. I hadn't even noticed that Renée had stopped talking.

She swallowed and wiped her eyes before she continued. "It was spring, and we all spent a lot of time together. He always wanted us to go out 'as a family' - never just the two of us. He said he understood that you and I came as a package deal, and there was no use pretending otherwise."

"Didn't that seem weird to you?" My voice was harsh as I tried not to cry. Edward held me tight.

Tears were flowing down Renée's face. "No," she said in a broken voice, "it seemed like a dream come true. It was what I wanted - a man of the house, a father for my daughter."

That stung. "I have a father!" I shouted.

Her temper flared as well. "Oh course. He was a great help from another state. He hardly knew you!"

"And whose fault was that!" I could hardly believe my ears. My parents had always spoken respectfully of each other, never complained about having to share me. "You're the one who took me and ran away." I began to cry, sobbing into the couch so I wouldn't have to look at my mother, despite the protests of my ribs.

"Renée this is not the time for your problems with Charlie." Edward's voice was hard as stone. "Answer the questions. It's already been a very long day for Bella." I stopped crying and sniffed as Renée gave Edward an angry look.

"If she's so tired, then maybe she should sleep." Renée spat the resentful words at Edward.

"Maybe she should make up her own mind," I answered back. I hated having people talk over me. "You said it was weird that he always wanted us all to go out together. What else?"

She looked at her hands again. "He liked you to be dressed up. You'd always been a tomboy; preferred jeans and t-shirts. You wanted me to cut your hair off short, but I wouldn't. All of a sudden you were wearing dresses everywhere, and begging me to put your hair into pigtails and braids. I didn't really connect the dots - not even when he started telling you how beautiful you were. You loved his compliments. You would tell me 'Steven will love this' while we were getting dressed. He gave you little gifts constantly. Hair clips and cheap jewellery. You'd glow. You were so proud to wear his gifts." Renée's voice didn't break, though the tears were streaming down her face again. I could remember standing in the living room in Phoenix, opening a little wrapped box holding a child's necklace and being so happy.

Edward's posture stiffened behind me, drawing me to more recent memories. I wondered if we were both thinking of my bracelet and how reluctant I'd been to accept it.

"When did you first get an idea that something was wrong?" Edward asked quietly. Something in his voice made me think that he was responding to something Renée was thinking.

"The first time we all went to the fair. Steven took you on the Ferris Wheel. You were thrilled, and thought you were so grown up. When you came back, your face was funny - paler than usual, and then you threw up. Steven joked that you must have had too much junk to eat, but something seemed wrong."

I was lost to the memories. The popcorn and cotton candy. The games. The view from the top of the Ferris Wheel - _hands touching where they shouldn't. Confusion. Shameful words. "Do you know what that dress does to me? Of course you do, you__'__re a whore just like your mother." Nausea._

"Bella!" Edward's voice drew me back. "Bella! Are you all right?"

I shook my head, vomit still threatening. Renée left the room, and returned a moment later with the mop bucket.

"Still in the same place," she said to no one in particular as she handed the bucket to Edward.

Edward somehow managed to twist around to see my face. He laid his cool palm on my sweaty cheek, and spoke very quietly. "Bella. We don't have to do this today. We can wait. If you vomit you could put a rib through your lung. Please."

I shook my head again. The nausea had passed. "Edward, I know. I do. I wish I could wait, but not knowing… it's worse than anything she could say. It's every bad thing I could ever imagine." My face was wet with tears, though I couldn't remember when I'd started to cry.

I turned my attention back to Renée. "After that, how long was it until you caught him in the hallway?"

She gulped. "Too long. You'd been to Forks and back. I had other signs staring me in the face. All the signs were there. Nightmares. You always had your hands down your pants. You were wetting the bed. You wouldn't go to sleep without a fight for anyone but Steven, so he started sleeping over more often." She sighed. "I don't know how I didn't see it. I don't think I wanted to." Her voice was thick. "He never came to bed at the same time I did. He'd wait until I fell asleep. I didn't think about it. Of course it was strange, and things weren't… right between us in the bedroom, but I thought you were happy Bella. I swear I did."

She sniffled. And I had to hold myself still. I didn't have any sympathy to spare for her. She might have thought I was happy, but if she felt that things weren't right she'd still found it easier to do nothing.

"And then one night I woke up and realized that the hall light was on. I went into the living room, expecting to see Steven watching TV, like he usually was, but he wasn't there. I was on my way back to the bedroom when he stepped out of your room. He said he'd been checking on you on his way to the bathroom, but it didn't make any sense. We had a bathroom in the master bedroom. And his face was flushed, and he looked like he was lying." I gripped Edward's hand tightly in my own, unwilling to let myself fall into the memory of that night.

She sobbed. "I couldn't lie to myself anymore. But there was this little voice in the back of my head that kept telling me I was wrong. That kind of thing wouldn't happen to Bella, I wasn't that kind of mother…so I didn't let him stay over anymore. I lied, said that Charlie was causing problems, and that he'd have to see less of Bella. And I watched. I wanted to see if you would get better without him around. You didn't. And I really started to second guess myself."

She shook her head. "I'll be right back, I need a drink of water." She almost ran to the kitchen. She stood for a long time in front of the open fridge.

Edward whispered in my ear, "She needs a minute, her thoughts are going to pieces. Are you all right?"

"Yes," I said under my breath, "It's just… unbelievable. It's hard to realize that it's my life."

The fridge door closed and Renée came back and sat down. She stared at her hands in her lap.

"I'm sorry Bella," she began, starting to cry, "I don't know what else I can say. It sounds terrible to say that I valued my relationship so much, but I was so scared that I was right, and praying that I was wrong. At the time it made sense. I didn't know for sure." She wiped her face on her sleeve. I shook my head in disbelief as she continued.

"You were still having the same problems. Nothing changed when Steven stopped sleeping over - the nightmares, the bedtime fights, the wet sheets, all of it was exactly the same. It wasn't too long after your Grandma died, and I had no one to help me. I was on the verge of letting Steven stay over again. You were so happy to see him when we'd go out all together… I thought we were safe in public. He talked constantly about how much he missed getting that time to see you, how much you must miss him putting you to bed, how stressed I looked, from dealing with everything on my own… it sounded so good." She sobbed again.

I was beginning to feel strangely distant and emotionally cut off from the story Renée was telling. My voice didn't sound like my own when I said, "And then I broke my wrist." Automatically, I looked at the cast on my right wrist, still desperately trying to stay in the present, to avoid the memories crowding in.

Renée nodded. "You broke your wrist. And it wasn't until we were back in that familiar hospital that I realized how much you'd changed. You wouldn't look the nurses in the eye. You wouldn't talk to anyone - not even to answer a question. The nurse who did your Triage knew us. Her name was Betty, she was older and had a granddaughter your age. She was always scolding you for tripping and needing stitches, or spraining something, and you'd laugh at her, and tell her you hadn't done it on purpose. This time, nothing. It was like you weren't there.

"At first, I think she thought it was because you were in pain, but by the time we'd gotten back from x-ray she looked suspicious. She got you settled in a little room to wait for your cast, and pulled me into the hall."

Renée swallowed. I was still frozen in time, watching the scene unfold in my memory as Renée spoke.

"She asked me what had happened. My gut was telling me to trust her; that I should tell her, but I was so scared. I didn't know what would happen. She looked me right in the eyes and said 'That beautiful little girl needs a mother, not a coward'. And I just started to talk. I told her about all the changes in your behaviour, and my suspicions about Steven. I hadn't even really admitted it to myself…"

She bit her bottom lip and shook slightly. "I went back in to wait with you, and then a social worker called me into to the hallway. Sophia Tynes. She…" Renée closed her eyes. "She asked me if I was still "seeing" Steven. I said yes without thinking, and the word was out of my mouth before I had time to tell the whole story… that I didn't leave you alone with him, and he didn't stay over anymore. It was the stupidest thing I have ever done." Renée opened her eyes and stared past my head. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I hated that I felt bad for her, but I knew it must have hurt her when they took me away.

"Ms. Tynes looked at me like I was one inch tall, and stupid as well. She said that they would have to "remove you from the home" while they investigated." She grimaced as if in pain. Edward's arm around me was like a weight - he was frozen in place. I squirmed in my seat, trying to get more comfortable.

Renée looked at me, noticing my tears for the first time. "Do you really want to hear the rest of this Bella?" she asked in a rough voice.

I nodded, unable to speak. Edward sighed softly behind me.

Renée continued. It sounded as though if she stopped, she wouldn't be able to start again. "I wanted to know what this investigation would involve. She mentioned a physical and it made me feel sick that you would be alone. I knew that they would be looking for signs of… damage.

"Betty came up behind me, and gave me a hug. She promised me she'd stay with you and hold your hand."

I could remember someone - an older woman - holding my hand. I had been terrified during the examination, I could remember how hot my cheeks had felt; it was so embarrassing. I'd been convinced that it was my fault - that somehow this was punishment for being glad that Steven didn't get a chance to touch me anymore.

I'd cried and the older nurse, (Betty?) had wiped my face and told me I was being brave. I was crying again now.

Renée kept talking. "They told me to go home, but I wouldn't leave the hospital 'til you did. It was so unreal to sit there without you." She made a weird choking noise. "The social worker came back to tell me that they hadn't found any physical evidence of abuse, that you were still… intact. I was glad, but she told me that it would be very hard to press charges." I shuddered. "Based on what I had told Betty, and the reports of a few other nurses, they were going to move you to a foster home. They wanted to have you evaluated by a psychologist.

"I begged her to let me take you home. I explained that Steven didn't stay over any more. She gave me that look again, and said 'That's not good enough. There can be no contact at all. Anywhere. We'll discuss Isabella's placement again when he is out of your life.'"

Edward moved behind me. It surprised me - vampires don't get uncomfortable. "Renée," he said in a strangely pleading tone, "Why didn't you just break up with him?" I wondered again what he was seeing in her thoughts.

She started to pull at a thread on the hem of her shirt. "I did. The next day was one of the worst of my life. I had to call Charlie, which… didn't go well. And after a few hours, I called Steven." She took a deep breath, but didn't speak.

"What did he say?" My voice sounds strange in my own ears.

"I told him what had happened at the hospital, but not that I had accused him. He got very angry. He said that it was your fault, that you were crazy, and made up stories, and lied all the time. He thought I would believe him. It was awful to listen to. I knew then that it must be true."

"Oh, god!" The words came out of my mouth before I could think. My last hope that this was all a crazy dream was gone. The detachment I'd had while listening to Renée fell away, and the pain of Steven's betrayal hit me full force. I choked on a sob.

"Bella?" Renée's voice was concerned.

Edward helped me turn a bit so that my face was hidden in his chest. I cried over and over, "He hurt me," while Edward gently stroked my hair.

My tears flowed on and on for what seemed like a long time. I gradually became aware of what was going on in the room. Renée was crying quietly in her chair. Edward stopped soothing me and started trying to get his cell phone out of his back pocket.

"Alice?" he answered.

"Yes."

"Sounds good. How long?"

"All right. Thank you."

"I will." He hung up.

He looked at Renée. "My sister Alice is on her way. She'll take you back to your hotel."

I looked at him, and he looked back, ignoring Renée, his eyes full of concern. "I'm sorry Bella. You need a break. You are going to take one. Have a nap and then I'll go and get Renée if you want to keep talking. She's here for a week or two. Right now you need time to process this. Please."

I nodded. I hated that he was taking over like this, but I knew I was at the breaking point. If I didn't deal with everything I'd just remembered, I wasn't going to be able to move on.

Moving on. Moving forward through this. I was vaguely aware of Renée hugging me and apologizing, of Edward propping me on pillows again. I couldn't concentrate on them. I'd come to two realizations, and they were equally important.

First of all, I had been molested as a child by mother's boyfriend Steven. Hearing what he had said, remembering everything that had happened as Renée told the story had confirmed it. I had to be able to say it. I couldn't hide from it any more. It was a terrible thing, and part of me mourned for what I had gone through. What I had lost.

Another part of me knew that secondly, I was going to move on from this place. Rosalie's words were echoing in my head _"__It happened a long time ago, and it doesn't change who you are inside." _Deep down, this part of me knew that she was right. This was the starting place for moving forward.

"Bella? Bella, are you all right?" Edward held my hands as he kneeled in front of me.

"I will be. I just… it's real now, you know? All this time, there was a part of me that wasn't sure it had really happened. But, while Renée was talking, I could remember it." I shuddered. "But, I mean, I just realized that things are going to get better. I'm not always going to feel like this." I was rambling.

"Shh Bella," Edward settled himself back on the couch with me. "Go to sleep."

Safe in his arms, I did.

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**Please please please let me know what you think... I'm really nervous about this one!**


	9. What Bella Decided

**Hello all! Sorry about the update time on the last two chapters...Real life is hard.  
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**Thanks to all who review... I know I'm slow with the teasers, but I love each and everyone of you.  
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**This is the last chapter with major flashbacks for Bella.**

**I'm dedicating this chapter to all foster parents who take on the difficult job of looking after children who have been through terrible times and are often difficult to deal with, and get little recognition and compensation for it.**

** Thanks always to Jeannie for loving comments and letting me know when I am making no sense.**

**I do not own Twilight.  
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**What Bella Decided**

**BPOV**

_I'm dreaming. I know it's a dream, but the terror grips me. The feet in the hall, the light comes on. I shrink down in my bed, the tears flowing down my face._

_I can hear Renée yelling. Why is she yelling? And another voice too. Edward. _

Edward? I can't seem to open my eyes. The yelling continues.

"...don't think you really get to say much. You've hurt her far worse than I have, and she forgave you."

"I did what I did to try to protect her. It was wrong, and I've ASKED her to forgive me."

"She may have forgiven you, but I haven't. And she looked very protected laying in bed for a week staring at the walls!" Renée was scornful.

Edward was trying to stay calm. "This is not about me. Bella and I have worked out those issues. We were talking about you and whether or not you are going to ask Bella to forgive you."

Renée snorted. "Look, I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your mother, but Bella and I, we're close. It's not about forgiveness."

"Do you not have any idea how badly Bella is hurting right now? How betrayed she feels that she had to ask you about this? This should have been dealt with – Charlie sent money for therapy."

"She's fine!" Renée insisted, "She's doing just fine!"

Edward's voice became menacing, "Of course she's fine. Until you try to buy her a gift, or ask her to dress up, or in any way make her the center of attention. And maybe YOU'VE never noticed how she suffers with these little things, but I have. And I can't stand to see her suffer."

"That's just who Bella is. Maybe you should start seeing her that way, since you claim to be so serious about marrying her. Kids getting MARRIED! You don't even know each other!"

"Bella and I aren't you and Charlie!" Edward growled. "We aren't going to make your mistakes, though we'll likely make our own."

"I'm sure you will make mistakes. Then I'll be Grandma and where will you be?" Renée was furious, her tone scathing.

"I'll be right beside Bella no matter what happens," Edward ground out between his teeth. "And I'll be doing everything I can to help her to move on and come to terms with this. I know she wants you in her life; she wants to forgive you, but you have to ask her."

It was a testament to how angry he was that I could hear him walking out of the kitchen.

I was surprised to hear Edward and Renée fighting in the first place. To hear Edward say those things about me, no matter how kindly he meant them. I knew he worried about that kind of stuff sometimes, that behind the eye rolling there was genuine concern, but... he thought I was broken. _No_, I told myself. _He's concerned because he wants you to be happy._

Another part of me was wondering if he was right. Was I reluctant to accept gifts and dress up because of what Steven had done? I didn't like to think about that. I opened my eyes. I could still hear Renée banging dishes angrily in the kitchen.

"Good afternoon, Sleeping Beauty," he said, bending to kiss me. I couldn't even blush at his nickname for me. I'd been asleep for most of the past twenty-four hours, overwhelmed by what I'd learned from Renée and still taking strong painkillers.

Charlie seemed more comfortable with Edward, and had left most of the responsibility of getting me pills and food on a regular basis to Edward and Alice. They'd done everything with the same level of finesse that they usually did, although I wasn't sure I was up for any more Pop Tarts. I planned on doing something about dinner tonight, even if it was just eggs.

Charlie had gone to work again this morning, after kissing my cheek, and telling me not to be difficult. Edward had helped me back downstairs. His idea of "help" really meant "carry", and I couldn't grumble too loudly. It was nice to sleep in my own bed. As soon as I'd got back downstairs, I'd pretty much gone straight back to sleep.

"So you heard that?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, I did." I paused. "Edward, do you really believe what you told Renée?"

He sighed. "I had hoped you hadn't heard that much. Yes, I do believe it. It doesn't change the way I feel about you, it just makes me angrier about what happened." His words were tender, but his tone was hard and angry.

"Why were you and Renée arguing in the first place?" I knew Edward was angry with her, but he was usually so polite. It didn't make sense.

He looked uncomfortable. "Oh. Well," he said, struggling for words. I knew he was trying to be polite.

"Let me guess," I said, "She's been hanging around, waiting for me to wake up, saying rude things and acting like nothing's wrong?"

"And trying to convince me that you don't really want to get married," he added, running a hand through his hair. "Never mind all the speculation in her mind about whether we're sleeping together, whether you are only marrying me for money, and, my personal favourite, that I've had plastic surgery at some point." He laughed, but I knew Renée's speculations had to hurt.

"So, I wasn't feeling very generous towards her, and she made a comment about you 'expecting' soon," he shrugged, clearly embarrassed about losing his temper.

"I love you," I said, squeezing his hand with my good one. "I want to marry you. We won't let anyone stop us." I sighed, still wishing that Renée would stop being so difficult.

Edward looked towards the door, and a second later I heard a car door slam shut. I looked at him, and he looked torn between wanting to laugh and cry. He quickly helped me to, painfully, sit up, and propped me there with pillows. I opened my mouth to thank him, and noticed how dark his eyes had gotten. He had hunted a few days before I'd begun remembering about Steven. I counted in my head; a little over a week. Too long, considering that he'd been at the scene of the accident, and with me in the hospital.

As Edward placed the last pillow, the front door banged open and I heard Emmett's voice from the entryway. "Bella! You in there?" I smiled as Emmett and Jasper came into the living room, ignoring Renée, who was still banging around the kitchen.

"Sorry to burst in on you," Jasper began, "Emmett's been impatient to see you. He, well, we both, feel badly that we didn't come and see you in the hospital." All eyes travelled to the almost hidden line of stitches at my hairline.

My heart melted in gratitude. They felt bad about not coming to see me while I was in a place that reeked of blood? It never ceased to amaze me how the Cullens went out of their way to make me a part of the family when I'd caused them nothing but trouble.

"It's all right," I said to both of the boys who'd become my brothers, "I understand."

I looked at Edward, and noticed his lips just barely moving. They were having another conversation that I couldn't hear. He was probably telling them about his fight with Renée I realized.

"Good!" Emmett's eyes twinkled as he held out a gift bag I hadn't even realized they'd brought in. "We bought you something to help your recovery – or at least to help make it less boring. Carlisle said you weren't going to be moving around much for a while."

Edward brought me the bag, which was surprisingly heavy for its size. I stared at it.

"I don't know..." I said. "You didn't have to get me anything..." I felt very uncomfortable. Gifts from the Cullens were always expensive.

"We know," said Jasper. "But we wanted to. And you have no idea how nice it is to buy a surprise for someone...I don't get to do that often." He smiled charmingly, and the discomfort faded away. I was suddenly very curious about what was in the box.

"Jasper..." I whined, realizing that he was influencing the situation.

"Bella..." He whined back. "Just do it. Don't be anxious, just open it." I couldn't fight him, so I gave in. Edward helped me to open the gift without dropping it.

'It' was a video game system.

Edward chuckled. "Emmett, she has a cast on her right hand."

Emmett looked perplexed. "Her thumb sticks out, right?" His expression was that of a child who's just been told that there is no Santa.

"It does," I showed him the cast, "but it kind of hurts to move it right now."

"Oh, I'm sorry Bella – I was just trying to think of a way to keep you busy. I didn't want you to be bored."

"It's all right." I said again. Emmett seemed very disappointed – almost too disappointed.

Emmett continued to apologize. I realized that Edward was smiling and Jasper hadn't said a word.

"Jasper! What are you doing?"

"You caught me," Jasper said, without a hint of remorse.

"That was you man? I'm glad – I thought I was losing my mind there for a second." Emmett grinned widely, showing his dimples and looking much more like himself.

"You didn't really think that you were that upset over video games?" Jasper asked.

"He's been that upset before," Edward pointed out in a teasing tone. I thought I saw his lips keep moving – what were they talking about now? I decided that I didn't care.

"All right Emmett, set it up." I told him.

He smiled wide and moved towards me. Edward stood up lightening fast, blocking him. "You can't do that for a few weeks," he reminded his brother.

"Right," said Emmett. "Broken ribs, no hugs. Rose told me before we left, I just..."

"Got caught up in the moment?" suggested Jasper, sounding amused.

"Er, something like that." Emmett began assembling the game, after shooting me a wink. I loved that he was willing to play the fool for the sake of a laugh.

I tried to catch Edward's eye, but he was avoiding it. My suspicion that his brothers hadn't just decided to come for a visit deepened. He was up to something.

Emmett stood up. "There! All ready to get your ass kicked Bella?"

Edward rolled his eyes, but I laughed. It took some figuring out, but eventually Edward and I teamed up, so that I could use my good hand on half the controller, and Edward held it and did the rest.

We'd done two races, which Team Edward and Bella lost miserably, when Renée came into the living room, carrying a tray.

"Aren't you feeling hungry Bella?" she asked in a nervous voice.

She'd been cooking while she banged around the kitchen. Oh boy. "Thanks Mom, what did you make?"

"Lasagne – it's harder than it looks, even with those new noodles that you don't have to cook first."

I managed not to groan out loud. 'It's harder than it looks' was Renée-speak for 'I burnt it/undercooked it/mangled it beyond recognition'.

Renée set the tray down in front of me, and Edward helped to keep it balanced. I poked at the piece of lasagne. It was almost rock solid – way overcooked. Pop tarts were looking more appealing by the second.

I was too hungry not to eat something, and cooking something else would lead to another fight. A lifetime of eating what Renée cooked had taught me to survive bad cooking. I quickly cut away the crispy edges to reveal the center, which was still overdone, but was at least edible. Like most of Renée's culinary experiments, if you got around the mistakes it was absolutely delicious.

Edward smiled as I picked around the good bits, trying to ignore the fact that I was the only one eating, and everyone was watching me.

"It's good?" he asked.

"Yup," I answered, very aware that Renée was still standing awkwardly across the room.

"Would you boys like some?" Renée offered.

The boys all exchanged looks, and had another quick conversation that I couldn't hear.

"That's very kind of you ma'am," said Jasper, oozing southern charm and a lot of relaxation, "but Esme is expecting us home for dinner. All of us."

Ah. Jasper and Emmett were here to take Edward with them. Looking at Edward I noticed again how dark his eyes were.

"You know Edward," I said, "You do look hungry." All three vampires eyes widened, and they shifted in their seats as they tried not to react. "Maybe you should go home and get something to eat."

He opened his mouth to protest and then shut it again. "Are you sure?" he asked me. "I can stay if you want me to. Or I could send Alice over early."

"No," I smiled, glad that he wasn't going to argue with me. Not only did he need to hunt, I had an idea that it would be easier to talk to Renée on my own if Edward and she weren't fighting. "I'll be fine till Alice comes to help me get ready for bed." I ground my teeth together at the though – I hated being dependant on help to get dressed – and counted the days till I'd be able to dress myself without help. There were too many.

"All right then. Alice can drive Renée home when I get back. Charlie will be home by then too." He sounded hesitant, but he wasn't actually arguing.

"We should get going," said Emmett, turning off the video game. "See you later Bella's mom!" He and Jasper stood and carefully began walking towards the door. I swallowed a giggle – they were used to moving at a human pace at school, but had to be careful when they were anywhere else, or they tended to forget.

Edward leaned over to kiss me. I suddenly remembered that we'd been discussing vampire things, like Jasper's power, with Renée in the next room

I whispered in his ear, "Renée didn't hear anything we were talking about, did she?"

"No," he shook his head and whispered back, "she was too busy re-wording the argument we had earlier so that she 'won'. It makes her feel better."

I turned my head just a bit, so that I didn't get distracted by his delicious breath. "Good. Enjoy your dinner!" I added a little louder, and giggled as he rolled his eyes, kissed me again, and left.

Renée and I sat in crushing silence. After a minute, she picked up the tray and went back into the kitchen. I picked up my Jane Austen anthology, which was on the coffee table, and began to read _Persuasion_. I was having trouble losing myself in Anne Elliot's world, and it took me a minute to figure out why.

Out in the kitchen, Renée was crying.

I could hear the soft clank of the dishes in the sink, and the part of me that had loved and cared for Renée for years wanted to go and help her. The part of me that was still a betrayed 7 year old was glad that she was suffering. The part of me that remembered that I'd been released from the hospital a day ago wasn't sure I could walk that far without help.

In short, I was confused.

I sat for another minute listening to Renée's quiet sobs and the gentle splash of the dish water. I didn't want to forgive her, but at the same time I didn't want to let this make me a bitter person. I'd always been forgiving – too forgiving, or so both Charlie and Edward thought.

Without making a conscious decision I began to scoot forward on the couch, knowing I would need the support of the coffee table to get to my feet. A painful struggle later, I was on my feet and began to slowly shuffle towards the kitchen. I used my good hand and my cast to support myself on any furniture and walls I could reach.

For the first time, I was grateful that Charlie's house was so small. 15 small shuffling steps brought me to the entrance of the kitchen. I cleared my throat.

Renée whipped around, her tear streaked face startled. "Bella! You're not supposed to be up. You should be resting."

"Am I just supposed to ignore the fact that my mother is crying?" I asked, hoping we could move this conversation back into the living room. I ached all over, and my short walk had exhausted me.

Renée sputtered, "But...Ed...you...Bella!" she wailed my name. "You don't really want to marry that pushy boy do you? He's so bossy!"

I was shocked. She was still arguing with me even though I could hardly stand. I was disappointed. My knees shook a bit from the strain of standing and I grabbed the wall.

"Shit Bella, you need to sit down." Renée gently helped me back to the couch. Close to her, it was hard to be mad for the things she said.

"There," she said, adding in a last pillow.

"Mom, we need to talk," I said, wincing as I settled in.

"About what?" she asked in a little girl voice. I sighed.

"About the fact that I am marrying Edward. That I want to marry Edward, because I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him." I actually planned to spend even longer with him, but Renée didn't need to know that.

"Of course you do now, sweetheart," she said, rolling her eyes, "but once you get to college you're going to realize that there is so much more out there."

"Mom, I know my own mind. I didn't agree to this without thinking about all the consequences."

"Bella honey, you don't know all the consequences. You can't. And why the big rush? Be engaged if it makes Edward happy, but you don't need to get married right away. Next summer, after a year at college, would be beautiful. Don't let Edward push you around."

How could I explain this so that she would understand?

"Mom, Edward doesn't push me around. We make important decisions, like getting married, together." I took a deep breath, thinking about what Renée had seen of Edward. "Right now I'm sure he seems a little bossy. But, he was scared out of his mind when I crashed the truck, then, all this stuff about Steven coming up and," I paused to blush. This was hard to say out loud. "I'm not always very good at remembering to look after myself. It's... embarrassing to tell people I need help. Edward worries that I'll overdo it," my voice dropped to a whisper as I remembered my plans to cook eggs for dinner, "I was thinking about getting up to cook earlier, so I guess he's right to worry."

Renée's eyes welled up with tears. "Bella, I just want you to be happy. I don't see you being happy if this relationship fails. And getting married so young increases the odds that it will fail – Dr. Phil says..."

"We're not talking about Dr. Phil." I cut her off, "And life is short. I could get in another car accident, and not be so lucky. Something could happen to Edward," _although it's not likely,_ I thought. "and I'm so happy. Edward makes me happy. We just want to celebrate our happiness." I knew it was unlikely that I would ever see Renée again after the wedding and my subsequent change. I really wanted her to be at my wedding.

I took her hand. It felt good. I may have been eighteen years old and ready for marriage, but I would never stop missing my mother; even if she didn't always deserve it.

"This wedding is happening, whether you like it or not. You are my mother, I love you and I want you to be there."

She looked me in the eye, long and hard. "All right Bella. I give up. You've always known your own mind. I'll support your decision, even if I don't agree with it. Just, please be careful. I'm too young to be a grandmother!"

I blushed beet red. She kept going on about an unplanned pregnancy, and since I knew that was a major problem in her own relationship, I felt the need to set her mind at ease.

"Mom, Edward can't have children. He was... sick when he was younger." I managed to explain without lying.

Renée went pale. "Oh! And I said...oh! I'll have to apologize..."

"Just drop it okay? It's kind of sensitive subject for him." I wished that were a lie.

She nodded. "Sure, sure. Well, you can always adopt when the time come." She seemed strangely happy for someone who'd just been told they wouldn't likely have biological grandchildren.

I yawned.

"You should sleep – I'll go and finish the dishes."

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Later that afternoon, Renée and I looked through my photo album. We talked about me as a baby, remembered some fun times, and then, there it was. The photo of the foster family who had taken me in.

"What were their names again?" I asked. I felt terrible that I didn't remember them more clearly.

"The Wheeler's. Bob and Minnie Wheeler. They were so nice."

"I don't really remember them. Just that they were nice, and I liked to play with the kids, but their house seemed so noisy."

"Oh, they were so nice," she said again. "That was such a horrible week, I missed you so much, and then, with the psychologist's evaluation..." she trailed off, uncomfortable.

"Oh, that's right," I looked at her expectantly and sighed. "You were going to tell me about that, right?" I prompted.

She looked down at her hands. "It was on Wednesday. On Saturday you broke your arm, Monday I stayed home from work and called Steven. I called the social worker too."

"Sophia," I filled in. Renée looked at me in shock. I blushed. "I remember bits and pieces."

Renée nodded and continued. "I told her I had broken up with Steven. She was happy to hear it, and was nicer to me after that. She said I had to wait until you'd had the evaluation, and that Child Protective Services would be by to investigate the house – make sure that Steven was gone and that the house was clean and safe. I cried. I hated that you were with strangers because of my own stupidity." She gulped loudly.

"I begged for something, anything." She sighed. "I hated that she made me feel guilty for loving you. She said that she'd give my number to the Wheeler's and they could give me an update over the phone. I was so relieved! I got off the phone and cleaned up the whole house while I waited for the phone to ring."

I rolled my eyes. Renée was terribly messy when she was depressed. I didn't mind listening to this part of the story. It was easier to listen to Renée's pain when I knew that I'd been safe and happy.

"I was almost expecting them not to call," Renée continued, "to be too busy. But Minnie called. And she was friendly, and supportive and so nice. She answered all my questions; told me cute stories about you. I was so happy that nice people were looking after you."

I nodded. My memories of the Wheeler's house were fuzzy and vague, but I could remember the warm loving tone of Minnie's voice and Bob's gentle laugh.

"I went back to work the next day. Sitting at home was torture without you, and I wanted to show CPS that I was employed in good standing."

Renée fidgeted in her chair. "Oh and before I forget, I have all the medical records and stuff at home, if you want them."

I nodded, unsure if I did or not.

"When Minnie called me that night, she told me about the appointment. I called Sophia about it. I had to be there, Bella. I didn't want you to go through it alone. Sophia reminded me that you couldn't see me, but said I could be there if I wanted to."

I frowned, trying to remember this appointment. The way Renée described it, it sounded traumatic. I should remember it.

She didn't notice the change in my expression.

"It was a very strange day. I arrived at the psychologist's office, and had to stand in a little hidden room behind a two-way mirror while they brought you in. It was a beautiful room, full of toys. I can remember a huge wooden dollhouse that I thought you would love. We were all crammed in this tiny room; a police officer, a lawyer, Sophia, Minnie, and me." She gave a little chuckle and then sighed. "You looked so unhappy, and you had that cast on and I all I wanted to do was hold you and tell you that everything was going to be all right. The psychologist was young and pretty and played with you. You were too shy to talk much, but you smiled a lot. Then she moved you to the table and you drew pictures for a while. You talked more, describing the kids at the Wheeler's house. She mentioned how sad it was that kids got hurt sometimes, and it was like someone had given you an electric shock. I knew that you'd realized why you were there. You shut down completely. She couldn't get another word out of you, although she tried for awhile. You just sat there, drawing awkwardly with your left hand."

I didn't remember any of this... it felt strange to hear about it.

"The police officer and the lawyer talked, but eventually decided that there wasn't enough evidence to arrest Steven. There wasn't anything else anyone could do to keep you safe. I was so mad I cried. Minnie hugged me."

We sat in silence for a minute, staring at the photo of Minnie and Bob.

"So, he's still out there?" I asked.

"I guess so," said Renée, "I haven't heard from him since that week they took you away. I boxed up his stuff and put it on his doorstep so I wouldn't have to see him."

"And I never told anyone? Why did you all believe it, if there was no physical evidence, and I wouldn't talk?"

"You talked," said Renée softly, "just not to the psychologist. On the Friday, Minnie called and told me. Apparently on Thursday night you had a nightmare. Bob woke up first, and went to go and wake you." Renée kept talking, but I couldn't hear her. I could remember that night.

_Footsteps in the hall, coming closer and closer with nowhere to run. Tears streaming down my face as I begin to scream. "No, no, don't touch me, please, no!" Awareness – it's not HIM. Pleasant face, gentle hands...Bob?_

_I sit up in the dark, still not sure if it's safe. Bob stops in the door, hands wide and open._

"_It's all right Bella, it's just me. You had a nightmare sweetie and I was going to wake you up, that's all."_

_I nod, but my heart is still racing and I really want him to leave. I can hear other kids crying and am torn between embarrassment at waking them and terror, because there is still a man in my bedroom. A sob tears free from my throat. I curl my knees up to my chest._

_Bob seems to understand. "Do you want me to get Minnie?" he asks, his voice still pleasant and calm in the dim light. I nod. He leaves and Minnie comes in a second later. She quickly pulls the blankets up for my roommate, a ten year old who can sleep through anything._

_Minnie sits next to me, tucking me into her shoulder as I let loose, sobbing wordlessly. As the storm of crying passes, I realize that Minnie talking quietly._

"_...it's hard to be away from everything that you are used to. Nightmares are scary."_

_It feels important to correct her._

"_No," I say hoarsely, "It's not because of the nightmare. I thought Bob was ... HIM." My name for HIM slips out. Steven is my Mom's friend. Steven buys me treats. Steven tells me I'm pretty. HE...HE is scary._

"_HIM?" asks Minnie._

"_HE...HE comes into my room sometimes, when Renée is asleep." I whisper, ashamed at breaking my promise to never tell._

"_Really?" Minnie mumbles. She doesn't sound angry, so I say a little more._

"_HE, does things. Touches me. It's scary. I don't like it." I say into the dark._

"_That's too bad." Still not angry. I gather my courage to say one more thing._

"_Sometimes he makes me touch him too. That's the worst." I say so softly it's hard to hear, even in the quiet dark house._

"_I'm sorry Bella," says Minnie, drawing me in for another hug. I settle, tired, back to sleep._

"Bella?" Renée's voice pulled me from the past. I shook my head.

"I remember," I said quietly. "I remember telling Minnie about it."

Renée nodded. "She was so upset the next day – and of course it was all inadmissible in court. It's frustrating."

I nodded mechanically, still stunned by the memory of that night.

"On Friday, Sophia brought you home. I was so glad to see you, and you were so glad to see me, and we hugged... it was great. Sophia left me the name of a therapist and I set up an appointment."

I sighed. This was the only question left.

"Okay, so what happened? Sophia gave you a name, Charlie was sending money..."

"I did call and set up the appointments."

I raised an eyebrow and she responded defensively. "I did. It took me a couple of months, but I did." I nodded.

"The therapist, the appointments... they just didn't seem to help. You'd been improving. Bedtime was easier, the nightmares had stopped... and then I took you to see the therapist. It was like someone had doused you in cold water. You took this huge step backwards and you were miserable. You didn't want to go – I had to literally pry your hands off the car door to get you into the second appointment." She shrugged, uncomfortable with the idea of physical conflict.

"At the time, it seemed like it would heal itself... I didn't realize that you'd forget it and that it would be an issue later... it really seemed like the right choice to drop it. You'd never said a word to me about any of it – Steven, the hospital, the Wheeler's, the psychologist. You'd always been so strong, even though you were so young. I didn't realize you'd need help."

I sighed. I knew that therapy often made things worse before they got better, but evidently Renée hadn't.

"It was almost Christmas, you were so sad. I just had to cheer you up."

A sneaking suspicion crept into my mind as I realized the time frame she was talking about.

"Mom! Please tell me you didn't..."

"I took you to Disneyland."

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**So there you go! Renee is a bit of a twit and spent the money on a vacation...**

** And... Edward is up to something. What, you ask? Well, you'll have to wait and see. If you'd like to guess, review and maybe I'll give you a hint!**


	10. What Edward Gathered

**Hello all! Monster Author's note ahead!**

**First of all, thanks again to all who review. I truly love each and every one. you reviewers mean the world to me.**

**Second of all I must come clean here about my chapter titles. When I originally planned out this story, it had seven chapters. They all had good titles. Then a couple of chapters ran long and I had to make a couple of extra titles up on the fly. No biggie. Then my bff and beta Jeannie pointed out something which has lead to the second half of this story... (it will be around 15 chapters and an epilogue.) All the good chapter titles are gone. Some of them may be stretching it. I apologize.**

**Also, this chapter is shorter than usual, but is necessary to move the plot forward.**

**Love and thanks always to Jeannie for staying up late to help me finish this!**

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**What Edward Gathered**

**EPOV**

Two weeks later, Bella had heard all Renée could tell her and I was ready to say goodbye to my future mother-in-law. Unfortunately Renée was staying in Forks for another week. Apparently the yoga studio in Port Angeles was running a course in "Finding Your Spirit Guide" and, as Bella had said, it was 'right up Renée's alley'.

Renée sat in Charlie's kitchen, babbling away about how 'deep' and 'powerful' the course was, and how Bella should go with her for the last few days to find her inner spirit guide as well. Bella nodded in all the right places as she listened, although she'd said she thought the whole thing was kind of silly.

I tried to keep from rolling my eyes as Renée described the stretching exercises they were doing. How did she expect Bella to manage that not two weeks after breaking her ribs? Never mind the cast on her hand. Bella was doing much better now, and didn't need much help from Alice to get dress, but she was still moving a lot slower then usual.

"I'm sure that Zenna would be able to adapt the course for you!" Renée said enthusiastically. From the sound of it, Zenna the yoga instructor could do everything short of raising the dead.

"Mom," said Bella, trying to be diplomatic, "yoga's not really my thing."

"I know it's not usually Bella, but I thought it could be very healing, since you've decided not to go to therapy."

Bella blushed deeply. "I just don't think therapy will be helpful at this point," she said, looking at me for help.

I wasn't sure I agreed with Bella's decision not to attend therapy, but she'd asked for my support and I would give it wholeheartedly. "That's Bella's choice," I told Renée firmly.

"I know," Renée shot back, and then added in a nicer tone, "I was just providing options."

Renée had found it hard to talk to me since Bella had told her that I couldn't have children. She felt very guilty about having brought it up, but was still angry about the wedding, though she'd decided to support Bella in what she felt was "her mistake".

"Well, I had to tell her something," Bella had said when I'd returned the next day, "or she was just going to keep going on and on about it. And I didn't lie to her – you were sick, with the Spanish Influenza. And then Carlisle changed you and you can't have children. Which doesn't bother me. Renée's enough of a child for anyone. And if she thinks you had cancer or something and the chemo made you infertile – which by the way could easily happy have been the case even if you were human – then so much the better."

She assumed I was going to be angry, but the way she kept talking, speaking faster and faster was so adorable that I burst out laughing.

"So you're not mad?" she asked. I kissed her and reassured her that I was not.

Renée continued her detailed play by play of the Spirit Guide class, and my thoughts wandered back to the day of my fight with Renée.

That morning, as I waited and watched while Bella slept, I started thinking about Steven; about how he was still out there somewhere. I almost wished, for a moment, that I was still killing humans with dirty minds like his. Maybe if I had – he wouldn't have gotten to Bella. I shook my head to let it go. I'd been down this road of thought before, when Rosalie had joined our family. The guilt was one of many reasons I hadn't said anything when Rosalie planned her revenge.

But Bella couldn't plan her own revenge. She wouldn't. And she would likely object if I wanted to do it for her. The rage burned inside me. Against my better judgment I began to plan a murder. To borrow Emmett's phrase, Steven was a "sick fucker" and in my mind, he deserved to die.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. Alice had seen what I was planning.

"Edward!" she scolded, "What are you doing?"

"Nothing, right now."

"What are you thinking! Bella won't like that one bit."

"So I find him then?" The only problem I could see would be finding him again. I'd seen what he'd looked like 10 years ago in Renée's memories but he could have changed. He could have moved – Renée seemed to think it was likely, but her conviction that he'd moved to the east coast could also have been wishful thinking.

"Yes," Alice hissed, still disapproving, "but do you have any idea what this will do to Bella if you keep it from her?"

I was speaking low enough that I know Alice would have to strain to hear. "He needs to die Alice. He hurt her."

She sighed. "You should come home. We can talk about it."

I knew better than to get close enough to let Alice manipulate me, never to mention what she could get Jasper to do. "Alice, Bella just got home from the hospital. I'm not leaving her."

"She's going to sleep all morning. She'll be fine."

"That's not the point." I knew Alice understood how guilty I felt about Bella's accident, and hoped that she wouldn't press the issue.

"Edward that's..." she stopped talking, and I assumed she was concentrating on a vision.

"I'll talk to you later," she said in a threatening tone, and hung up.

When she'd arrived to help Bella through her morning routine, she'd been carefully reciting Edgar Allen Poe's poems to keep her mind busy. Bella had been very tired, which made it harder for Alice to help her get out of her pyjamas and into the shower. Once Bella was in, Alice began yelling at me in her thoughts.

"_Edward, this is crazy. You have to talk to me. You're going to be putting us all at risk. We all get a vote._"

I sat at the bottom of the stairs, and spoke quietly, knowing she (and only she) could hear me. "No, you don't. Do you think Jasper would wait for a vote if someone hurt you?"

"_That's not the same thing at all Edward! This could expose us. He can't hurt her anymore._"

"No, but he could hurt someone else. Why am I the only one bothered by this?"

Alice tried to hide under her poetry, but failed. I got a glimpse of an argument between herself and Jasper. He agreed with me.

"_Jasper has...a different perspective on things Edward. This isn't an area that he's objective in._"

"On the contrary. I think his perspective is perfect."

I refused to talk to Alice after that and she left in a huff once she'd helped Bella dress.

When Jasper and Emmett arrived, I knew she'd sent them. They'd quietly tried to convince me to go home with them, though they didn't understand why it was so important to Alice, but it wasn't until Bella unwittingly got in on the act that I'd conceded. All things considered, I did need to hunt and it would be easier to tell Alice to back off at home, where it wouldn't hurt Bella's feelings.

When I arrived at the house, Alice met me in the doorway with a look of determination. Jasper and Emmett took off, following Alice's instructions. "You can't just do this without even talking to her. She'll be furious!" she yelled.

"She doesn't need to be involved Alice, it will only upset her."

"It might but it's going to upset her a lot more if you keep it from her."

Together we watched a vision of Bella yelling at me. There was no sound, so I couldn't tell what she was yelling about.

Alice was getting increasingly agitated and started to yell at me in her thoughts. "_You can't leave her out of this. This is her life._"

I sighed. "I'll think about it."

"_You'll do more than think. You will ask her. She's had enough nasty surprises._"

She was right. I knew it. I just couldn't bear to think of putting any more pressure on Bella. She needed mental space to process what she'd learned from Renée.

"She needs time. She can't deal with this now."

"_Maybe you should realize that if Bella can't deal with it, which I don't believe by the way, then it shouldn't be done now._"

"Alice, I just want her to be happy."

Alice hung her head in frustration, "_I know, I do too._" Alice's mind filled with visions and memories of Bella happy, including the vision of Bella as a newborn vampire.

I laid a hand on her thin shoulder, "I don't think she'd be happy to know that this Steven is still walking around out there."

"I know," Alice sighed, "But it feels cruel to not just let her move on. She's been through so much. Why can't she just let it go if she wants to? I understand what you are thinking, but that doesn't change the fact that if you are going to do anything to Steven it needs to be her decision."

"I know." I sighed again.

"It'll be all right Edward. She'll understand. That doesn't mean she'll say yes, but I think she'll understand why you feel the way you do."

I nodded. I wanted to talk to Bella about my plans, but I was also terrified at the thought of upsetting her. She didn't need any more problems. I hoped that Alice was right and that she wouldn't be too upset.

As I made my decision, Alice's mind was flooded with a vision of me talking to Bella, asking for permission to kill Steven. She looked shocked, and I felt guilty for even thinking about talking to her.

"_Edward, she's fine. Look._" As the vision skipped through time, Bella settled and we talked. I didn't know what to think, but was relieved to see that my love would be all right.

Alice nodded in satisfaction, before freezing again. A quick vision of Bella the next day asking why I hadn't hunted made me grimace.

"_Shall we?_" Alice offered. And we both went running into the woods.

*************

It was a strange coincidence that the kind of information you'd use to find someone is the same kind of information a vampire least wants to leave behind. Luckily for me, Renée was not aware enough to notice the little prods I gave her to get these facts. Jobs, schooling, parents' names... and of course a lot of it was gathered from her thoughts rather than words. Steven was on her mind a lot these days.

The internet, which I'd been cursing for years because it caused us so much trouble staying inconspicuous, was suddenly an ally in my hunt. Somewhere in "cyberspace", there was information about Steven's whereabouts. I'd begun my search, but without all the information, I hadn't made any headway.

I'd kept track of every single kernel of information that Renée dropped. The only important piece left was his last name. Regardless of my hints, Renée didn't think it, and Bella had never said it. I was going to have to ask directly.

Which brought me back to listening to Renée talk on and on about the sacredness of the Sanskrit language, and the profoundness of breathing. Maybe I was cynical because I didn't HAVE to breathe anymore. Maybe I was raised far too Protestant to believe in the New Age religions that flourished among people like Renée. Or maybe the whole thing was just a ploy to part middle aged women from their money, and it was hard to take it seriously.

"And the whole thing uses a base of Vinyasa yoga, so we're constantly flowing with the spirit and then, once your spirit has fully entered the space, you switch to a more Hatha style pace, holding each pose while you commune. It's a great way to sort out problems in your head Bella." Renée continued.

"Mom! For the last time, I will work out my own problems in my own way." Bella snapped.

Tears welled up in Renée's brown eyes. "I'm sorry Bella! It's just; I'm finding it such a healing way to deal with my negative energy from what that man did. I want this kind of peace for you too, you know?"

"_Why won't she even consider it?"_

Bella nodded, "I know. I'll get there. Not right away, and not at a yoga class though."

Suddenly I realized that with Renée leaving tomorrow this could be my last opportunity to ask her.

"Renée, what was Steven's last name?" I asked, trying to sound casual. Bella's head snapped around and her eyes narrowed. She was very perceptive and it was usually very inconvenient. Heaven help me when she had vampire senses.

"His name was Steven Hunter," said Renée. "_Even his name was creepy. Why didn't I notice earlier?"_

I wondered whether Renée's instincts to predators were as impaired as Bella's seemed to be.

"Oh my Goddess! Look at the time! I'm going to be late!" A car pulled up to the front of Charlie's little house and honked twice. "That's Judy. I was supposed to call her when I was ready." She ran quickly around the room gathering her scattered belongings.

She bent and kissed Bella's cheek. "Bye sweet heart! I love you! Bye Edward!"

"Bye Mom!" Bella called.

"Goodbye Renée!" I added.

Once the door had shut behind Renée, Bella turned and gave me a look. "What are you up to?"

I opened my mouth to lie to her, protect her from what I was going to do, but I couldn't. Alice's words were ringing in my head, and I knew that I couldn't keep this from her. Luckily I didn't get a choice.

"You're looking for... HIM aren't you?" she asked, her voice betrayed, her tone furious.

I nodded. "I haven't been able to find him yet, but when I do," I leaned forward, eager, "Bella, I want to kill him for you."

Her eyes went wide with shock and her heart rate picked up.

"What!?!" she gasped. "Why would you do that?"

"Bella, you heard what Renée said. They couldn't press charges. He's still out there somewhere!" I hated that Alice was right. She wasn't going to accept that Steven needed to de without an argument.

She paled and for a minute I thought she was going to faint. She snapped back to attention, her eyes focusing on me as her face grew angry.

"You didn't just decide to do this today?" she asked harshly.

I shook my head, feeling like a scolded schoolboy. "No. Longer than that."

"How long Edward?" She was so angry. Alice had told me this was bad idea, but I hadn't really understood how upset this would make Bella.

"Since the day I fought with Renée." I admitted.

"So that's what you were talking about with Jasper and Emmett." It wasn't a question. "You've been planning this... murder... all this time? And you'll talk to your brothers about it, but you didn't talk to me?"

This conversation wasn't going at all the way I hoped.

"Bella, I didn't want to tell you until I was sure I could find him. I didn't want to promise something I couldn't follow through on."

"Why were you thinking about it at all?!"

I hated to hurt her, but she had to realize this. "Bella, he is still out there! He could be hurting someone else right now!"

"Bullshit!" I blinked. Bella had never sworn at me before. "You don't care about that. You're angry that he hurt me and you want revenge."

I sputtered. "Well, yes, but, why, what..."

She interrupted me. "Revenge doesn't solve anything Edward. Look at Rosalie. She got her revenge but did it do her any good?" I had access to Rosalie's thoughts for almost 80 years. I knew it hadn't. Bella continued. "She's still angry all these years later. I will not let what HE did ruin my life and leave me bitter forever. I've got to deal with this on my own terms and find a way to move on."

She had been getting quieter as she spoke. I wanted to reach out and hold her. She looked up at me again.

"And how is it that you'll discuss things with your siblings before you talk about them with me! We're supposed to be getting married Edward. How can we do that if you don't trust me?" she yelled at me.

"Of course I trust you!" I said indignantly. "Trusting you has nothing to do with wanting to protect you from disappointment. I didn't want you to get your hopes up."

She sighed in frustration. "Part of trust is trusting me to be an adult and to be able to handle bad news. I can take it. I know it's been rough lately and I haven't really been myself, but I still need you to trust that I will do what's best for me."

I held in a snort, "Bella! That would be a lot easier if I thought you would!" My voice got louder and I began to yell, "Instead you are constantly pushing yourself past your limits, sacrificing your happiness for other people. It sounds admirable, but it's so dangerous! I'm always afraid that you are going to go out of your way to put yourself in danger!" I saw the tears well up in her eyes, and felt terrible for yelling at her. "I'm sorry love," I said in softer tones, "I shouldn't yell at you."

She shook her head. "Maybe not, but I'm glad that you are being honest with me. You're right, and it's something I'm trying to work on – I swear. It still doesn't excuse you lying to me though."

"I know love. I'm sorry." I held out my arms and she hugged me as tight as she could with broken ribs. We stood there for moment while I enjoyed the feel of her in my arms.

She was quiet for a minute as we held each other, and then she looked up. "You're sorry, but you'd do it again, wouldn't you?"

I didn't know what to say. She was right. I would always do whatever it took to keep her safe; even if that upset her.

She didn't wait for an answer, her beautiful brown eyes filling with tears. "I can't let this change everything Edward. I won't let HIM change everything. I won't let him make you into a murderer. You are not a monster, and HE can't change that."

She didn't understand. "I'm already a murderer Bella."

She smacked the palm of her good hand flat on my chest. "No, you aren't. Maybe you were once, but you aren't right now. And I'm not going let that go, not for me, and especially not for HIM. And it's not like I would get any real satisfaction from it. It won't make me feel better." Her voice dropped. "It would make me feel guilty."

She was right.

"Promise me you won't go and kill him," she said seriously.

"I promise." I answered. There was no other answer. I could not be responsible for making her feel guilt. My own guilt for my past mistakes was almost more than I could bear. Her guilt would be too much.

All throughout that day, as we cleaned the kitchen, watched a movie and discussed Alice's latest wedding plans, I thought about my desire to kill Steven versus Bella's guilt if he died at my hand. While Bella was right and a large part of my urge to kill came from a desire for revenge, (she was still my mate and someone had hurt her!) the thing that made me reluctant to abandon the plan was the fact that Steven Hunter could have a current victim. I couldn't let him continue to hurt other children. No one else should have to suffer.

By the end of the day, as Bella and I curled up on her bed so that she could go to sleep, I realized that the answer lay in the problem. I'd promised not to KILL Steven. I hadn't promised not to do anything else.

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**Whew! Edward just doesn't know how to take no for an answer.... BPOV next, and we say goodbye to Renée.**

**As always, reviews get a teaser!  
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	11. What Alice Painted

**Hello all! I can hear you gasping from here. Two updates in a week? It's a miracle! (It kind of is... Bella wouldn't stop talking to me last night, and I wrote the entire second half of the fic in one go.) However, on the down side, I am going on vacation next week, and there likely won't be another chapter after this until September.**

**Thanks go out always to my readers and reviewers! Each one means the world to me, and I try to respond in a timely fashion. All reviewers will get an advance teaser. I don't know what happened last time... I posted twice, but got not reviews at all. FF was being a pain, so hopefully everyone got an update email. If not, go back a chapter and read that first. If you did, show me some love people, and let me know you are out there!  
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**Thanks always to Jeannie for beta'ing and asking interesting questions (and helping to brainstorm chapter titles!)**

**I do not own Twilight**

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**What Alice Painted**

**BPOV**

When I woke up, I knew something was wrong, despite Edward laying in the bed next to me. Then I remembered. Edward had asked me for permission to go and kill Steven. I still couldn't believe it. On the one hand, it was strangely reassuring to know that he loved me so much, to know that whatever pain it might cause him, he would protect me.

On the other hand, I couldn't imagine what it would do to Edward. I could still remember how hard he'd fought to not kill the men who'd tried to attack me in Port Angeles. I couldn't let all his struggles (more than 70 years!) be for nothing. He was stronger than that, and I wouldn't let Steven Hunter weaken him.

Part of me was angry that he'd put the decision on my shoulders, and at the same time I was so glad that at least he'd asked. It wasn't so long ago that he would have acted and then told me what had happened later.

"Bella?" came a quiet voice beside me. "Are you awake?"

I smiled. Even when I was furious with him, I was still happy he was here. Happier than I'd ever been.

"Sort of," I yawned. "I will be."

He laughed softly. "I'm going to have to leave soon. Charlie's home, and though he's been good about us spending a lot of time together lately, I don't think he'd be able to deal with me spending the night."

"I know. What time is it, anyway?" The grey light of Forks was bright behind my curtain, but gave no hint as to what time it was.

"It's nearly noon."

"Wow." I was amazed by the amount of sleeping I'd done since the accident. It helped that I had the best reason to stay in bed lying next to me. He was serving a useful purpose these days. Though I no longer fell into nightmares every time I closed my eyes, I still had one almost every night. Edward woke me patiently from each one, holding me tight or giving me space when I needed it. They felt so real, and were so upsetting. I hated the way they had me trapped.

"Bella!" Charlie's voice came from downstairs. "Alice is here!"

"I guess that's my cue to leave." Edward smiled gently. He kissed my cheek. 'I think Alice has something planned for today," he said, clearly unimpressed by the idea. "She's trying to block me, but she's really excited."

I laughed. "It'll be fine. I haven't seen much of her outside of my bathroom. It'll be fun to hang out."

He gave me another crooked smile before ducking out of the window. The second he was gone, Alice opened the door. "Wake up sleepyhead. I've been waiting for you for hours!"

I rolled my eyes and sat up, yawning. "Hazards of making human friends," I said unsympathetically. She stuck her tongue out at me. "Very mature, for someone who's over 100."

"Bella, bringing my age into this is a low blow. Now, how much help do you need today? Because I've got to get back home and set up."

She'd lost me. "For what? What's going on?"

"Just some girl time. But you know me; I like to have everything set up perfectly. And if you don't get out of that bed in a second, you're going to wreck my whole day!"

I got up. "I think I just need you help getting the mitt thing on and off. I just can't wear anything with buttons til this comes off," I said, gesturing to the cast. The mitt was my favourite new invention. Instead of wrapping my cast in garbage bags while I got wet, (even the fibreglass was only "water resistant" not "water proof" and they'd stressed that before I left the hospital.) I could just stick it in what looked like a large plastic oven mitt. It worked well at keeping the cast dry, and made me bless Alice's tendency to over-shop. I never would have found it on my own.

Freshly showered and in my robe, Alice got the mitt back off before dashing downstairs and out to her car. I heard the tires on her Porsche squeal as she sped away. Future telling abilities aside, it was good that she had Charlie wrapped around her little finger or she'd have been arrested by now.

Once I was fully dressed, (which was harder without Alice, but at least I didn't have to defend my wardrobe) I headed downstairs. Charlie was pulling something out of the oven.

"Good morning Bella. Did you sleep well?"

"Yep. What's that?" I really hoped that neither he nor Renée had cooked it, whatever it was.

"Chicken casserole. Sue Clearwater sent it up. She knew you were out of commission and how terribly I manage on my own." He rolled his eyes, the sarcasm obvious.

"Sue Clearwater is very sensible," I said, taking a deep breath of the delicious smell. Part of me was amazed that she'd found the time and energy to cook for us while trying to keep two werewolves fed.

"She's had to be. She's taken Harry's spot on the council, both the kids are busy all the time, plus there was all that drama with Leah and Sam a while back, and she's done most of it on her own." His voice was full of admiration.

We ate in comfortable silence. The food was fantastic. Charlie ate with a big grin on his face. I wondered for a second if maybe Charlie might feel something for Sue, but decided that I must be crazy.

After lunch, I let Charlie know I was headed over to the Cullen's and went out to confront the Volvo. When I'd gotten home from the hospital it had been parked in the driveway. Edward and I had made short trips in it with him driving since then, but this would be my first time driving it alone.

I opened the door and got in, feeling a momentary pang of longing for my familiar truck. It took me a minute to find all the adjustors for the seat – most of them power features – so that I could sit closer to the steering wheel. It felt strange to move the seat from where Edward had adjusted it for his long legs. I took a deep breath as I fixed the height of the steering wheel and got a wonderful whiff of Edward. The whole car smelled just like him and it lifted my grey mood for a moment. It was like having him with me.

As I put the key in the ignition I realized how nervous I was about driving again. It was the first time since my accident, and I was alone. I sat in the car listening to the radio, but I was too scared to put the car into gear.

A tap on the window made me jump with a little yelp. I opened the window.

"You know," said Charlie, leaning on the edge of the window, "you learned to ride a bike up here. You were five and I spent most of a morning running behind the bike and when I finally let go you did great for about 4 feet and then you fell and scrapped up your knee and elbow. I thought you'd want to stop for a bit after that, but you insisted that we get right back out there to try again. And we did and you got it. You were always a brave girl. Well, unless I wanted you to talk to someone." He chuckled. "Ready to go?" he asked as though it were perfectly normal for him to see me off this way.

I nodded, choked up by his unusual display of caring. "Have a good day," he said cheerfully as I put the Volvo into reverse. He patted the roof of the car before he backed away. I carefully reversed out of the driveway and headed down the road towards the Cullens. Alice apparently had plans for me.

It was awkward, driving with the cast on, but I couldn't deny how much easier it was to manage the Volvo's automatic steering. My heart was beating hard as I pulled onto the empty main road. The brake seemed very touchy, but the roads were clear of both rain and traffic, so other than a few rough stops, it wasn't bad. My confidence grew as I went, although both a car traveling in the opposite direction and a cat on the side of the road made me jump and hit the breaks.

In no time at all I pulled into the driveway at the big white house by the river and Alice was at the car door before I could even get it open.

"We're going to have so much fun!" she squealed, helping me from the car.

"What are we doing?" I asked hesitantly. Alice and I had lots of fun together, but she tended to go overboard quite regularly.

"We're going to have a spa day! Except we're going to stay here. It'll be so much fun!"

"Oh," I said stupidly, following Alice's impatient steps inside and up the stairs towards her enormous bathroom. I wondered what Alice meant by a "spa day" and worried that I'd have to remind Alice about the cast.

"Don't' worry," said Alice as we reached the second floor, "we're just going to do manicures and pedicures. It'll be easy enough to work around the cast – it's not sore when you move your fingers anymore, right?"

I nodded and tried to smile. I instinctively wanted to say no to painted my nails, and put up a fuss, but since hearing what Renée had said about me wanting to dress up for HIM I was trying to look at my dislike objectively. I knew some of it was a simple dislike of fuss – I couldn't really remember ever liking girly things myself. Some of it was fear though, deep down in my belly. It was a fear I now knew to associate with Steven, and recognized as being a fear of putting myself back in that helpless position. It was silly. I knew logically that nothing bad would happen letting Alice paint my nails, but the fear was still there.

I took a deep breath. I wasn't going to let this change me. So I couldn't be afraid of something illogical. I couldn't let HIM control me anymore.

"Let's go and see what Alice has set up. She's likely bought the entire O.P.I. line just for this," said Rosalie with an eye roll, as she came up beside me.

"You're coming too?" I asked as I took a hesitant step towards the door. Rosalie didn't usually do girly things with Alice and me.

"Yeah, if... that's okay with you?" Rosalie turned to face me and smiled shyly. I inhaled to tell her that it was fine, but she was too close and I got a big breath of human-dazzling vampire scent and temporarily forgot how to speak.

Alice laughed from the bathroom. "Back up Rose! You're "dazzling" her."

Rosalie frowned, but took a step backward and my head cleared.

"That's better." Alice was highly amused.

"I thought only Edward did that?" Rosalie asked, confused.

I blushed, but smiled, glad that she was talking to me directly and not asking Alice. "Alice has done it by accident a few times. Mostly just the same as you, she stepped too close and looked me in the eye just as I breathed in." I shrugged, not adding an unnecessary "it's a vampire thing".

"Huh. Who knew?" Rose looked amazed.

"Are you two done bonding in the hallway yet?" Alice yelled impatiently. We quickly scooted into the room. I gasped looking at the array of files, bowls and tiny bottles of nail polish that were laid out on the marble countertop of the vanity.

"Rose, you pick your colour and then grab a few for Bella to choose from, okay?"

I moved closer to the vanity, but Alice took my good hand and sat me on the stool she kept there just for me.

"Here, we'll soak your fingers first," she said, dipping the ends of my fingers into a little dish. She stared at the cast for a minute as though she could make it heal by sheer willpower. "Hmm. I guess we'll just skip this hand and go right to shaping and filing." I nodded, not caring.

I didn't say much, and tried to enjoy the warm water on one hand and the gentle nail file on the other. While Rosalie and Alice discussed the latest line of some designer I'd never heard of, my thoughts drifted back to my argument with Edward. We hadn't had a chance to discuss it this morning, and it made me feel uneasy. The shock was wearing off and reality was sinking in fast. Edward wanted to hunt someone down and KILL him – for me. I shivered.

"Bella?" Alice's voice pulled me from my thoughts. "You still in there?" she asked gently.

"Yeah, just thinking. Edward..." I trailed off, unsure how to put my feelings into words.

A look of comprehension passed over Alice's face. "Oh, he asked you then?" she asked. I got the impression that it was Alice who'd made sure he asked me first.

Rosalie was out of the loop. "Asked her what?"

"Revenge." Alice summed up the whole situation with one word.

"Oh. And you said no?" Rose asked, her tone carefully neutral, her amber eyes sad.

I nodded. "It doesn't feel right." I blushed as I realized that they were both listening intently, staring, still as only vampires can be. "It feel like if I sad yes it would always be there, this little bit of guilt about it. I don't want to add anything else to Edward's guilty conscience. And I want the past to stay in the past."

They both nodded, breaking out of the statue-like stillness, and Alice took my left hand out of the water and began to dry it before she clipped my nails.

"So how is the leaving the past thing going anyway?" asked Rosalie, changing the subject and paying excessive attention to her right pointer finger as she painted it a maroon-red.

I shrugged and stared at the cast in my lap as Alice began filing the nails on my left hand. "Oh. All right. Still have nightmares, but Edward wakes me up. I'm glad to have all the answers now."

Rose quirked an eyebrow, reminding me that all the family news doesn't always reach her.

I shrugged again. Alice followed my hand exactly as I moved it. "Renée had her head in the sand. Signs of... abuse weren't as well known then. She broke off the relationship when she knew for sure, but they couldn't arrest him as there wasn't really any proof."

Rosalie narrowed her eyes. "Don't you do that, Bella."

"Do what?" I asked, confused.

"Feel like you have to forgive her. It's all right to be angry at Renée."

"I know and I was really angry before. It's just, hearing her side of the story, I remember how young she was. She was only 26 – my Grandma was dead and most of her friends either didn't have kids or just had babies. She couldn't talk to Charlie about it – she was all alone."

Alice nodded to indicate that she was listening, and began putting clear polish on my nails.

Rose frowned. "Well, yes, but if you want to be angry at Renée, be angry at her anyway. You don't have to be understanding. It's all right to be completely selfish about this."

I smiled. I remembered Edward telling me about how loyal and protective of her family Rosalie was back when we'd first met. It was nice to be counted as worthy of that protection. "I am being selfish really. By my own choice, I probably won't see much more of Renée other than the wedding and I'd rather not have my last memories of her spoiled by fights. It makes me feel better."

Rose shrugged. "Well, whatever." She smiled. "Your choice."

"Oh!" Alice stopped, staring at nothing.

Rosalie and I waited expectantly til she came back. She stared at me strangely. "Bella, has Charlie been spending time with someone from the reservation?"

"I think so," I said, confused. "Sue Clearwater. She's sent some meals up too."

"Charlie just decided to ask her on a date!"

My jaw dropped. My father hadn't been on a date since Renée left him. "Are you sure?" I asked, half convinced it must be a joke.

She smiled. "As sure as he is. He can still change his mind."

"Wow." I was stunned.

"You're okay with it, right Bella?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, I'm just really... surprised." It was a good kind of surprised; nice to know that someone would be there for Charlie if and when I wasn't. I smiled at my new family, comfortable that my old family would be taken care of.

***********

Several hours later, Alice had painted my finger and toe nails a pearl colour that turned blue in certain lights. It was called Kyoto Pearl. While Alice had been painting, Rosalie, Alice and I had spent a lot of time teasing a laughing. It was new, but fun. I liked the way Rosalie called Alice on being bossy, and it made me more willing to do the same. We had a good time.

When we were done, Rosalie took off to spend some time with Emmett. Alice tidied up the bathroom and I picked up my purse to drive home for dinner.

Walking carefully downstairs, I saw Esme leaning over the kitchen counter. She looked up as I came closer. "Hello Bella. Did you enjoy getting your nails done?"

I smiled and held up my good hand as proof. "They're very shiny, and Alice is better than me at shaping them. I always end up leaving rough edges." I looked at the papers on the counter. "Is that wedding stuff?" I asked, pointing at a list of food items.

"Yes, it's from the caterer. We're having it buffet style to help out the guests who don't eat, but it makes it tricky to give appropriate numbers to the caterer. We need place settings for all the guests, but only enough food for some."

She smiled as though this was a common wedding problem and I felt guilt well up inside me for dumping the wedding on Alice and her.

"Oh Esme, I'm sorry..." I didn't get any further before she placed a gentle finger on my lips to stop me from talking.

"Don't you dare apologize for letting us plan your wedding! First of all, we're enjoying it immensely – catering headaches and all. Secondly, do you have any idea how much I'm looking forward to having you officially as my daughter?" I blushed and she wrapped a cool arm around my shoulders. "You are a member of this family. You have the right to have us fuss over you because we love you!" she scolded gently. A tear traced down over my cheek and she wiped it away before pulling me into a real hug.

We stood there for a moment and then Esme pulled away, saying "Well, I'd better call the caterer and sort this out. We'll see you soon?"

I nodded. "Thanks Esme," I said softly.

She smiled again before dialling the phone. I walked to the garage. Edward's new car – a Ferrari – was parked next to the Volvo. Perched on top was Alice.

"Did you enjoy your day?" she asked brightly.

"Yes, thank you. My nails are lovely."

"I didn't mean your nails – they were just an excuse."

I realized that Alice had orchestrated this whole day so that I would have the time to bond with Rosalie and Esme as well as herself.

I didn't know what to say.

"You needed it." Alice explained out of no where. "Just – remember that we all love you, okay?" she added cryptically, giving me a little hug and helping me into the driver's seat.

I drove home thinking about having sisters and Esme's hug. It was nice to think about spending forever with them. I'd never really thought about it after being an only child all my life. Esme always left me feeling like I'd been wrapped in a bubble of love and caring.

When I walked in the front door of Charlie's house, I saw Renée sitting at the kitchen table.

"Bella, there you are!" she said in a scolding tone.

"Hi Mom. What are you doing here?" I asked, confused. I had thought she'd be out with her yoga friends – today had been the last day of her spirit class.

"Saying goodbye of course. I'm flying out first thing in the morning."

"Oh." I looked at Charlie, who shrugged.

Renée kept going, oblivious. "Phil called me yesterday, and asked when my class was done, and I told him today, and he told me all about this group of pendulum readers who are starting to meet at the library. They start the day after tomorrow, so he booked my flight right then!"

I nodded, and bit my bottom lip. I'd been thinking that Renée would want to spend one more day with me before she left. I'd even planned to drive us to Port Angeles. The disappointment felt heavy in my stomach.

"So come and give me a hug!" Renée trilled, picking her purse up from the floor. "I've been waiting silly!"

I decided not to mention that Charlie must have told her where I was, and she had decided not to call.

Renée hugged me briefly, lightly and yet still managed to pull my hurt ribs. I couldn't help but compare her hug to Esme's. Renée's hug was over quickly, leaving me feeling like a burden with nothing left but the scent of patchouli.

"Call me, Bells! I've got Edward's mother's number – Esme, right? – and maybe I'll come up the week before the wedding to help out."

I nodded again, but she wasn't looking. A cab honked out front. "Bye guys! Bella, I left you my new email address, right? I can't find the password to my Windows Live account!"

"Yep, I've got it Mom. Have a great flight! Call me when you get in so that I know you made it!" The part of me that has spent years mothering my mother kicked in, and I waved from the door as she got her bags situated and drove away.

I stood there for a minute, my stomach churning as I realized that when I'd left my mother to move to Forks, she'd left me right back.

I walked slowly back into the kitchen, to find Charlie standing in front of the microwave. "I'm just heating up some leftover casserole for you Bells."

My stomach was still upset, but I knew he wouldn't take no for an answer, so I sat down at the table. He put down the bowl of reheated casserole and handed me a fork. I ate awkwardly with my left hand, using the cast to brace to bowl.

Charlie watched me eat. "You can't change her, Bells," he started out of nowhere. "It's hard sometimes to be a grown up and realize that people aren't perfect, but you've got your own life now. You're 18 and you're getting married and that whole clan loves you to pieces. You'll be off to college soon and you'll leave your old parents behind."

I remembered Alice's vision from earlier. "You're not that old Dad," I said, trying to be sneaky, "And I hate to think of you all alone here."

It's hard to pull one over on a cop. His eyes narrowed, but he smiled. "I've got people. Billy, the guys at the station. Sue called today. We've been chatting and..." He coughed before continuing, "I'm thinking about taking her to dinner. To thank her for the food she's been sending up."

I couldn't hide my grin. "I'm sure she'll appreciate that."

Charlie grinned too.

Later, after dinner I waited for Edward in my room. I started thinking about Renée again. About how she'd made me feel like a blip on the map of her life. I was working myself up to have a good cry and get it over with when the phone rang.

I heard Charlie walk up the stairs. "Bells? It's Alice." I opened the door to accept the portable phone Alice had bought and installed just for situations like this.

She didn't beat around the bush. "Stop that! What did I tell you when you left here?" It took me a second to remember, which was far too long for Alice. "I told you to remember that we love you!"

"I know, Alice," I sniffed. "It still hurts."

Her tone got softer and more understanding. "I know. Trust me, I know. This is the only family I can remember, but I used to imagine what the family I was born to was like." Her voice was sad. "I don't anymore."

"Sucks" I said, choking up again. At least Renée hadn't abandoned me in an insane asylum.

"Yeah." Alice's tone got brighter, "We'll just have to make our family the best family ever – to make up for it! Now, listen to your sister and stop crying. Edward's on his way."

It seemed silly that I hadn't asked this all day. "Where's he been all day, anyway?"

"Oh, he and Jasper went out." Alice was an excellent liar, but something told me that she was leaving things out.

"He'll be there in 2 minutes, so go and splash some water on your face."

I laughed and said goodbye. I headed to the bathroom, where I did splash some cold water on my face, and then I brushed my teeth and changed into my pyjamas.

When I came back into my room Edward was there, sitting in my rocking chair. My face lit up when I saw him, tension I hadn't realized was there relaxed and I moved as quickly as I could to sit with him.

When I was curled up in his lap I asked, "Where were you and Jasper all day?"

"Oh. We had to go into Seattle."

I frowned. "What for?"

He gave me a nervous smile. "I need a copy of a plausible birth certificate to apply for the marriage license."

I felt silly for being suspicious. I kissed him and he responded. I'd missed him, even when I'd been enjoying myself with his sisters. My hands moved up to touch his hair – it was soft and silky under my fingers. His hand moved up to rub my back. The kiss deepened and I could feel a growl start deep in his chest. I ran a hand down the front of his shirt, and then moved it underneath, enjoying his cold, smooth skin. His hand did the same, coming up under my shirt to cup my breast. I pulled away and smiled at him.

"Tired, love?" he asked. I nodded, and curled up again. He rubbed my back gently and began to hum my lullaby. I yawned.

We moved to the bed, and as I laid down next to Edward, I relaxed completely. As I drifted off to sleep I remembered what Alice had said on the phone. I'd have to tell her in the morning – we already had the best family ever.

* * *

**So there you go... Edward is maybe up to something, Charlie and Alice are awesome, Esme is lovey, Renée is ... well, she's Renée. EPOV next as the plot thickens....**

**On a side note, I wanted to add that all the signs/symptoms of abuse I use in this fic are real, including bedwetting, public masturbation, nightmares... everyone who interacts with kids should know these signs, so that you can get help if you need it!**

**Now, hit the green button and let me know what you think!  
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	12. What Jasper Knew

**Hello again! Thanks for the well wishes about my vacation... we all had a good time, and I wrote most of this while at the cottage.**

**Thanks to all who review. I always send out a teaser to reviewers... send me one and you'll get one too! (You have to be registered to make this work.)  
**

**Thanks always to Jeannie, for moral support and helping me think up alternate activities one can do with a cast on.**

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**  
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**What Jasper Knew**

**EPOV**

I couldn't get the thought of killing Steven Hunter out of my mind. A month past Bella's accident, I still burned with the need to kill. I had listened to Bella; I hadn't done anything else to find him. But I wanted to, and battled the desire daily.

I understood all of Bella's reasoning. I was touched that she worried about my guilty conscience, but I knew that she would always put my needs before her own. Just because she didn't want me to kill him didn't mean that she didn't want him dead.

Jasper sighed, "Edward. Stop doing that! You're winding yourself up, and you're winding me up too!"

"I'm sorry," I said, getting up from the piano and pacing across the floor. "I can't help it. It infuriates me that he could be out there, living his life, hurting someone else."

Jasper nodded, "_If it's any consolation,_" he thought, "_I agree with you._"

Alice was upstairs. She did not agree with me, and had not been shy about letting me know. I continued pacing, more controlled now. "You do?" I said, hardly making a sound. Alice was absorbed by wedding related e-mails and a vision of a necklace Jasper was going to buy her.

"_She concentrating on the necklace?_" he asked silently.

I nodded, "You can't plan to keep this from her for long?" I asked incredulously.

He shook his head, "_I don't need to. Just long enough. If you go, I'll back you up. We've got to find the bastard first._"

My expression betrayed my shock. I couldn't believe that he was going to help me go behind Bella's back, against Alice's opinion.

"_I understand why you feel the way you do. If we'd known where Alice came from while any of them were still alive..._" his thoughts trailed off into horror movie worthy images of tearing asylum workers apart. I was flooded with the urge to kill, and whimpered with the effort of trying to ignore it.

"_Sorry._" Jasper reined the emotion in, replacing it with a soothing calm. "_Well, you get my point,_" he thought wryly.

I did. "How do I make this work? She's not willing to listen to reason..."

Jasper smiled. "_That I don't know. Do you have to tell her? If that bastard is hurting someone else..._"

"Then it's not about her."

"_It's not foolproof – she's going to be furious._"

"We can work that out later. Alice is going to be furious too," I pointed out.

"Of course I am," Alice said from the stairs, her face disapproving.

"Alice, sweetheart..." Jasper said, flooding the room with calm. It didn't seem to effect Alice, whose mind overflowed with anger as she interrupted him.

"Don't you sweetheart me! Did you really think I'd fall for that? You always use the same necklace when you are trying to distract me... and Tiffany's doesn't even make it anymore!"

If I hadn't known that I was next, I'd have found the sight of Jasper cowering in front of tiny Alice funny.

"Not only were you lying and deceiving me, you were encouraging Edward to deceive Bella! He can get into enough trouble on his own without your help!"

She whirled around, "And YOU! We've already had this conversation! You've already discussed it with Bella. She said NO! You need to accept that. She. doesn't. want. you. to. kill. him. He hurt HER and it's HER decision."

Jasper looked like he'd been slapped, his thoughts a jumble of apology. Alice was enraged, her mind boiling over with indignation on Bella's behalf. Her every thought on the subject was coming straight out of her mouth.

"I really can't believe you are even considering this. Bella will feel guilty about this forever. Do you really want to do that to her?"

I hung my head. That was what I'd been ignoring – Bella had said the same thing with I'd asked her in the first place. The thought had nearly crushed me then, and it did the same now.

"I didn't think so." She gave me a small smile, her storm of anger passing as she realized she was getting her way. "I understand that you are angry about it – hell, I'm angry about it. And if Bella came to us and asked us to do something about it, I would be all for it. But it has to be her decision."

I nodded. She looked at me and Jasper, noted that we both look chastised and weren't planning anything new, then headed back upstairs.

Jasper looked at me and I looked at him.

"_So, we can't kill him._" He thought.

I shook my head, wondering what his point was.

"_But we can still find him, if we don't plan anything beyond that. With any luck he'll be in jail. I've heard that child molesters don't get treated very well in prison._"

I nodded. He was right. We could as least find him. Hopefully in jail.

********

Two days later Emmett found me in my room listening to Bach's Toccata and Fugue.

"Is Bella here?" he asked, unusually quiet.

I shook my head as I turned the music down. "No, she's eating with Charlie tonight."

"Good," he said, "I've got something you should see." His thoughts were focused on the computer, and a single question. "_Is that him?_"

We went up to the library together where Emmett kept his PC (he found laptops just a little to breakable when frustrated.)

On the screen was a news article. The headline read "Hunter convicted of 4 counts of Molestation – Released on bail to await sentencing"**.** I froze in shock as I read the first few paragraphs.

"_Is that the fucker who..._"

"Yes." I cut him off. "Philadelphia. He's in Philadelphia."

I was not surprised that he had moved. I studied the picture in more detail. He looked older in the photo than in Renée's memories, older than 10 years would account for.

"So, you're going after him then?" Emmett asked quietly.

I nodded. The article was informative. Steven Hunter had been found guilty of four counts of child molestation. 10 victims from the state of Pennsylvania had come forward, and the prosecution had been smart enough to concentrate on the 4 cases which had the most hard evidence.

"Are you going alone?" Emmett interrupted again.

I shook my head, "Jasper volunteered," I said, continuing to read the in-depth article.

It gave a mini-biography. Born in Phoenix, his family had moved to the East Coast a few years after his father lost his job. They stayed on the East coast moving town to town, focused around the Philadelphia area.

"You're taking Jasper," Emmett said. His thoughts continued, "_You're taking Jasper, but not me._"

I shrugged. I hadn't intended to involve anyone else. Jasper had just... been there.

The article traced Hunter's schooling, and his job as a milkman for several different dairies. He'd often delivered to schools. I had to admire his skill. He had sought out single mothers, volunteered as a heavy lifter for dance studios and gymnastics gyms.

He preferred girls. As I read on, I began to curse Bella's terminally bad luck. Steven Hunter had only lived in Phoenix for 2 ½ years. He'd been with Renée for a little over one of those years. I felt more acceptance towards Bella's change settle inside me. She was right. It just wasn't safe for her as a human. I'd always blamed myself for setting off her bad luck, but evidently it had started long before Bella had laid eyes on me.

Emmett's thoughts were growing in intensity. I'd been ignoring him but he burst out, "I'm going with you!"

"What?" I said, distracted. "No! Jasper is too much; I should really do this on my own."

Emmett's thoughts filled with images of Rosalie and Esme. "_This isn't just about Bella. Do you really think that Jasper is only going for you and Bella?_"

I stared at him. I hadn't thought about it.

"Every woman in this family has had someone hurt her," he said baldly.

I continued to gape. He was right. It was awful, but true.

"This is the only chance we will every get to deal with one of those fuckers. I want to go. I want to look at someone who hurt Bella like those..." Emmett growled instead of saying a word to describe Rosalie's former fiancé, "hurt Rosie. Like that ass of a husband hurt Esme. Like god knows who did god knows what to Alice in a dark room." His thoughts continued, _"Shock treatments..._" I was amazed by the depth of Emmett's anger on his loved ones behalf. I tended to disregard him; it was hard to get him to take anything seriously, but he made a scary opponent when he was angry.

I opened my mouth to argue with him, and then closed it again. "Okay," I said. "You've made your point. I still don't know what we are going to do. I've promised not to kill him. I can't break that promise. I can't do that to Bella. I won't. But if we don't kill him, what do we do? We can't tell him what we are. We can't really hurt him. And he's going to prison soon anyway."

"And molesters don't get... included in prison life." Emmett smirked at the idea of Steven being mistreated by his fellow prisoners.

"That's what Jasper said." I added mechanically.

I really wanted to kill him. The urge to rip him limb from limb was rising up again.

Emmett saw it in my eyes. "Hey! Calm down. He's not going to get away with it. He's going to prison for what? Twenty years?" He squinted down at the article, searching for details. "And when he gets out, we'll just let him know that if he puts so much as a toe out of line, we'll be there."

"And how do we do that?" I was sceptical that he would listen. After all this time, he was at high risk to reoffend.

"I don't know..." Emmett frowned, his mind whirling with ideas. Unfortunately, they all seemed to end with us "accidentally" killing him.

"No, Emmett. I won't kill him, not even by accident. Would you go against it if Rosalie asked you? "

He scratched his head. "Well, she wouldn't so I don't know."

I sighed. A poor example. "Would you leave him alone if Esme asked you?"

He sighed too. Then he nodded. "Of course. How could I say no?"

"How can I?"

"Do we really need a plan yet?" Jasper's voice came from the entryway.

I considered it. "No, I guess we don't."

"We can play it by ear; you can listen into his thoughts for a bit..." Jasper and I both shuddered at that idea. But we had to know if he had a current victim.

"So," Jasper said, "We're going to... scare him."

Emmett grinned suddenly, flashing both his dimples and his teeth. "Yes. And he will never go near another child again. Ever."

**********

I was supposed to tell Bella. I couldn't tell Bella.

I wanted to tell her what we were planning. I knew I should tell her. But I just couldn't. I knew she would want me to leave him alone. In her mind, prison time would be sufficient.

It was not sufficient to me. I began to think, during the two days I planned the trip with Jasper and Emmett that our differing opinions came from the difference between vampires and humans. Vampires did not forgive a hurt to their mate. Victoria's year long campaign to kill Bella was proof enough of that. Humans, in this place and time, were taught about second chances, and to forgive and forget.

Maybe the problem was that I would never forget.

While I was eternally grateful that I'd been able to support Bella during the worst of Renée's account of their life with Steven Hunter, the images her mind called up during the telling would haunt me forever.

_Bella, six years old, in a tomboy phase, cheeks rosy as she digs in the backyard sandbox and runs away from Renée's hairbrush, laughing and giggling with glee._

_Another day, Bella in a dress, every muscle in her body screaming tension that Renée doesn't notice. Steven is looking Bella over with a practised eye. "Such a pretty girl," he leers. Bella beams with pride. "It would look so much nicer if your hair were done though." Bella stops smiling and looks at her feet._

"_I told you pretty girls let their mother's brush their hair," Renée scolds, smiling at Steven. All she sees is his interest in her daughter, and his help with a discipline problem. She doesn't seem to realize that there is something off in the smile. She doesn't notice him subtlety break Bella's spirit, moulding her into his ideal little girl._

I shook myself and forced Renée's memories back. They always infuriated me. Scene after scene ofmanipulation, and Renée grateful for every second.

We'd found Steven Hunter's address, traced through the correctional system. Our flights were booked. But I would be gone for most of a weekend, and hadn't found a way to explain to Bella why I'd be gone for so long, right before the wedding.

Once upon a time, a three day hunting trip was not unusual. But that was before Bella. The longest I'd left her since our reunion in Italy was overnight. Even before this whole mass about Steven Hunter, she often had nightmares while I was gone. The idea of leaving her for more than one night was repugnant. The knowledge that I would have to make sure that Alice would be there to wake her was humbling.

The realization that I would go despite these things was horrifying.

I felt torn and confused as Jasper, Emmett and I made our travel arrangements. I knew that killing him would be out of bounds. I didn't think any of us could stomach torture – especially not if we planned to let him live. So what were we going to do? I had no plan. All I knew was that whenever my crushing guilt threatened to overwhelm me, inspiring me to just let it go, I was filled with a homicidal rage that made me want to break the furniture.

We had to go. And to get there, I would have to lie to Bella. This part made little sense, even to me. I wanted to tell her. I wanted to have her keen perception and sharp observational skills at my disposal while I planned this. I wanted her blessing.

But when I opened my mouth to tell her, I was stopped by Renée's memories.

_Little Bella is sleeping on the couch. Renée comes into the room carrying bed sheets._

"_Bella! More wet sheets? I thought you said you were a big girl now and that you weren't going to wet the bed anymore!"_

_Bella wakes instantly, flinching from the impatience and frustration in Renée's voice. Tears well up in her deep brown eyes. Embarrassment covers her face._

"_I... know. I'm sorry."_

_Renée's expression softens. "I know Bella honey. It's just hard to deal with all the time. And school will start soon and your friends will be inviting you for sleepovers.... and I just don't know what we're going to do!"_

_Bella says nothing, but cries silently. Deep shame paints her every action, but Renée does not see it._

The look on Bella's face in memories like this broke me. I will do anything, including lie to her, to avoid bringing it back.

As I ran towards her house in the dark, I reviewed what I was was going to tell her. The review wasn't necessary for anything except my nerves.

I entered Bella's room through the open window, and she smiled and embraced me. I shook inside as my arm encircled her.

"Edward!" she sighed happily.

I kissed the top of her head, and we moved to the bed. Holding her hand in mine, I laughed distractedly. "Look at that! Alice would have a fit if she could see that!" I teased, enjoying her light mood.

She made a wry face, "If Alice had ever cooked an actual meal, she would understand that nail polish is going to chip." She looked down and used one fingernail to chip more polish off of another.

I smiled. Our usual banter about Alice made me feel normal after the strangeness of planning with Jasper and Emmett. "Or she'd send over designer rubber gloves for you to wear."

Bella began to giggle softly, so as not to wake Charlie. "Or she'd tell you to do it."

"Of course I would," I said, "You and Charlie might have to survive on canned soup though." I leaned in to kiss her. The kiss quickly deepened. I pulled away.

"Bella I have to talk to you."

She pouted a bit, but curiosity won her over. "What?"

"Well, Jasper and Emmett have been talking about a bachelor party..." I trailed off as she began to laugh hysterically into a pillow.

"Like, with strippers? Really?"

"No!" I reassured her, and myself, with a shudder. "Well, they've teased about it, but they'd never really do it. But we would like to do an extended hunting trip before the wedding."

"Oh."

Her eyes clouded as she realized what this meant, and I quickly added, "Alice will stay with you. Or you can stay at the house. Whichever."

"How long?" she asked, and I felt unworthy of her love again, since she'd accepted this without question.

"Two days maybe three," I said apologetically.

A tiny sigh escaped her lips before she forced a smile. "I'll miss you," she said, pretending to be cheerful, "but we want you well fed for the wedding."

I nodded, unsure of what to say or do now that the lie was told. I swallowed my guilt and tried to enjoy the rest of my time with Bella.

*******

When I returned home the next morning, my mind was in turmoil. I had lied to Bella.

As I approached the house, I was met by Alice. "Alice, I'm not in the mood for this!" I growled.

"You never are," she snarled back, "If you would just listen to me, maybe your mood would improve!" We both watched a vision of Bella yelling that I'd lied to her.

"She's not wrong," I said quietly, all the fight going out of me. I walked past Alice and she grabbed my hand.

"Edward! You don't have to do.... this." She frowned. We didn't know what we were going to do, which meant Alice was flying blind. "You can stay here. It will be all right."

Something inside me twisted like a blade at the thought of letting him go. "I... can't." I moaned in frustration. "I want to, but I can't."

Alice sighed loudly and stomped away, thoughts of mythical Cassandra's unheeded warnings running through her mind.

"You know," Rosalie said from the couch, "Not everyone thinks it's a bad idea for you to pay this asshole a visit."

I blinked. Rosalie and I had been at odds over almost every major family decision since the moment of her creation. The rare times we agreed it always took me by surprise.

Rosalie kept talking, ignoring the fact that I had frozen with shock. "She's going to be angry, and that's what Alice's problem is. She doesn't like to upset Bella, plus she has to watch it all the damn time, so it upsets her too. But anger isn't always a bad emotion, and it's not always wrong."

_I'm actually worried that she's not angrier, _Rose continued silently, _because she's likely blaming herself. She needs to get some of it out._

"And, if it takes you being stupid enough to lie to her and do something she told you not to do to get her angry – then it's worth it."

_And he needs to PAY!_

A quiet snarl escaped Rose's lips. Her thoughts flooded with embarrassment. Not at the noise, but because it revealed the depth of her feeling for Bella.

_She's good for you. She needs you. Just... be good to her. And be prepared to eat some humble pie when you get back!_

And Rose was gone, leaving me wondering at how things had changed.

The next morning we boarded the plane for Philadelphia.

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**Hopefully some of you are still here! This chapter was strange to write... Edward wouldn't stop talking!**

**Next chapter is BPOV while Edward is gone.**

**Leave me some love - push the green button and get a teaser!  
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	13. What Bella Suspected

**Dear Bella,**

**Why have you been so difficult? Why couldn't you just do what I asked? If you hadn't been so stubborn, we wouldn't have left the readers hanging for a month.**

**Your Author,**

**Twinklefae**

**Dear Twinklefae,**

**This is my life, and I'll do what I want. Plus, your supposed "real life" meant you didn't spend much time trying to get me to do anything. Isn't my life real enough for you?**

**Stephanie Meyer's Character,**

**Bella.**

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**What Bella Suspected**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 13**

"_What a beautiful girl... that's it exactly, so soft..." HE says. I close my eyes, and pretend I'm invisible._

_And then the weight lifts, and HE is gone. I'm all alone._

_I'm standing in the woods next to Charlie's house, staring into the green darkness. There is no one here with me. There is no one coming..._

"NO!" I cried.

When I woke up the first morning that Edward was gone, I knew that something was wrong.

To be fair, lots of things were wrong, from the fact that Jacob was still missing to the fact that my mother was a flake. But now something was wrong with Edward. He'd been acting strange ever since he'd asked me for permission to kill Steven Hunter and I'd said no. He'd been broody, and prone to pacing. I knew that he was having a difficult time leaving him alive. I thought I understood what he was thinking.

But in the morning light, everything looked suspicious. Edward had spent every moment possible with me since the accident, and then he suddenly left to go hunting? It didn't feel right.

I parked the Volvo in the Cullens's driveway and sat in the car. I wanted to be mad. I did. It felt like I had a lead balloon inside me and I was sure that being angry would help... but I was too weighed down by my hurt to think straight. I wasn't really sure if I had any right to be angry, and I wasn't sure if I was going to get any answers here. I knew that Alice wasn't home, she'd told me that already.

When Alice had arrived at Charlie's house to help me shower and dress this morning, her face looked like a thundercloud. She had brushed me off when I'd asked her what was wrong. She'd hurried me through my morning routine with no chit chat and wouldn't answer any questions.

All my suspicions were confirmed by her behaviour. Edward had gone to kill him.

All Alice would say when I asked her where Edward had gone was "I'm supposed to tell you that he's hunting."

Supposed to. He'd told Alice to lie to me.

I was so frustrated with myself. I felt stupid for not having asked Edward more questions when he told me about this supposed hunting trip. I'd been too distracted by the wedding – and reminding myself that I wanted to marry Edward, whatever Renée had spent years telling me – to think clearly. After all, hunting trips were a normal separation for us, and I did want him to eat.

I sighed, got out of the car and stretched. I'd been uncomfortable since I woke up and realized that Edward had been acting strangely. I wasn't really sure why I'd come to the house when I knew that both Edward and Alice weren't here. Maybe I just needed some reminder that he loved me. Maybe I was hoping he'd still be there.

I walked into the house and set my purse on the kitchen counter. I stood there for a minute before I realized that I didn't know who was home. I'd come to the house before when Edward wasn't there, but this was the longest I'd ever been in the house without someone coming to greet me.

I walked through the living room, intending to go upstairs to Edward's room, when Carlisle's voice made me jump.

"Bella!"

I walked over to the door of his study, and leaned against the frame. "Hi Carlisle."

"I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention when you came in," Carlisle said, not looking up from his desk, "but it's time for me to start getting organised for tax season."

"I thought taxes weren't due til April?" I asked, confused.

"They aren't, but ours are unusually complicated, so I start early making sure that all the identities are organized, or I wouldn't know which documents to forge."

I walked across the room and sat in a large comfy chair near the bookcases. "Oh," I said stupidly. This was the kind of thing I hadn't really thought about much. It bothered Edward when I asked questions about forged documents.

Edward. I sighed.

"Is something bothering you Bella?"

"Other than the fact that Edward has betrayed my trust and disappeared? And that he is likely doing the one thing I asked him not to do?"

"Ah." Carlisle put down his papers and looked at me. "Why do you feel he has betrayed you?"

I paused. I honestly didn't know for sure that Edward had gone to kill Steven. But, why would he lie if he wasn't?

"I don't know that he has. I do know that he lied to me, and he's not on a hunting trip. I know that he took Jasper and Emmett but not you..."

"That's true," Carlisle said mildly, writing more numbers on the form in front of him.

"Do you know where he is?"

"No, they didn't choose to tell me," he said, picking up another piece of paper.

"But you could find out, if you looked at the credit card statement, couldn't you?"

He paused, thinking carefully before responding. "I could do that. But I prefer to trust my sons and know that they will always do what they think is right."

I pulled my knees up to my chest to curl up in the big chair. "That's what I'm afraid of," I muttered.

Carlisle smiled. "It's hard to trust another's judgment. It's hard to know right from wrong when you are waiting to hear whether someone you love has broken your trust."

I realized that Carlisle had waited much longer than a weekend for Edward before.

"Was it hard? When he was gone?" I asked softly.

"Everyday," he answered in equally hushed tones, "But I trusted that he would come home again, that he would find that his own definition of right and wrong was compatible with mine."

He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face as if tired. Of all the Cullens, Carlisle was the best at the little human gestures.

"I..." I stopped; embarrassed that was even thinking this. "I don't think I'll be sad if Edward kills him." I blushed. It was terrible to admit not caring if someone lived or died.

Carlisle resumed his work. "That's understandable. It doesn't make you a terrible person. Some would even say that you are entitled to some revenge. I prefer a milder view. I may not 'turn the other cheek' but I try to trust in God to deal with those who've wronged me."

I'd spent too much time swapping religions with Renée to have much belief in God. "If there is a God, and I'm not sure there is, then I don't think he likes me."

Carlisle looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"It's not that I'm unhappy," I rushed to add. "It's just that... we never get a break. Ever. I'd really like some time to just be us."

Carlisle put some papers in a folder and then picked up another pile and attached them with a paper clip before he spoke. "Sometimes I think that with so many people on the planet to watch over, God must have to make some hard choices. All those lives bumping into each other and overlapping. All the needs that directly contradict each other. It may be that the only way that God could find to bring you and Edward together was to have a constant crisis going on."

He paused for a moment before continuing, "When I think about Esme and all she went through, I think that I would do anything to spare her from that pain. But she always tells me that she can't regret any of it, because it brought us together."

I smiled. That sounded like Esme. "I don't regret it either. Even if... I'll always love him. I'll always want him."

We sat in silence for a moment.

"There you are!" came Alice's voice from the door. I sat up and stared at her. Her bad mood from this morning seemed gone, and she was smiling mischievously.

"What's up Alice?" I asked nervously. She'd known where I was without asking, so she had planned for the conversation I'd just had with Carlisle before "finding" me to do... what?

"Rose and I are going to the mall, would you like to come?" she asked.

Shopping is not my favourite thing. I've never had much money to spend, it takes too long, it usually involves too many of the kinds of things that make me nervous. But my choices for the day seemed limited to moping alone or shopping with my future sisters-in-law. Shopping was the better choice.

"I knew you'd come!" squealed Alice as she saw my decision.

"On one condition," I added.

"Yes, yes, yes, you can drive. We'll spend most of the day in the car, but you can drive." She rolled her eyes, and then winked. "After all, we want you to be comfortable. And maybe you'll be tired on the way back and let Rosalie drive!" And with Alice, 'maybe' means 'you will'.

Sometime later, after some makeup application, a partial wardrobe change and a quick argument between Rose and Alice about purses, we were on our way to Port Angeles for the day. I was driving the Volvo, and Rosalie had won the argument with Alice about sitting the front seat.

"My legs are longer," she'd argued.

"That doesn't mean anything..." Alice had begun, but Rose just stared her down, til she frowned and opened the back door.

Rose had put her fancy IPod into the built in attachment of the Volvo's stereo and brought up a playlist.

"Road music," she'd smiled.

The playlist was varied and good, but as we moved onto the highway I started to get nervous. Rosalie was staring blankly out of the window. Alice was babbling about nothing in the back seat. The whole thing felt like a set up.

"What?" I asked finally.

Rose turned to look at me. "Why aren't you angry?"

I blinked. "Angry about what?"

"About everything! If Emmett ever took off like that, I'd be livid!"

"Rose!" said Alice.

"What? I didn't say anything she doesn't already know."

"Why are we all tiptoeing around me?"

"Huh?" asked Rosalie.

"Why are you two lying to me? Why can't we just acknowledge that Edward has run off with Emmett and Jasper to... do something... to Steven Hunter!" My face flushed. I couldn't say that Edward was going to kill him out loud.

"Pull over Bella," Alice's voice came gently from the back seat. It took me a minute to realize that she was asking because tears were rolling down my cheeks.

I pulled the car over onto the shoulder of the road, and burst in to noisy sobs. It felt like the morning after I remembered the whole mess all over again.

"Why! Why doesn't he listen to me!" I screamed. The heavy grief inside of me exploded into an inferno of anger.

"Because he's an idiot who's been single for 87 years," Rosalie said, patting me awkwardly.

"And we shouldn't be letting him decide what we talk to you about," added Alice, wrapping her arms around me from the back seat.

Tears dripped into my lap. I sniffed.

"Okay, here's what we know," said Rosalie, "The boys found Steven Hunter in Philadelphia. Emmett saw a news article or something. Edward's been, well..."

"A mess," Alice jumped in.

"I know but..." I started to explain, but Alice cut me off.

"You don't really. He holds it together for you, and around the family to some degree. But the flashes I get of him alone... he looks like a caged tiger. This has really been eating away at him."

Rosalie glared at her. "He's still being an idiot though."

"Yes. I just thought she deserved the background, since we're being honest."

"Don't," I moaned as they bickered. "I can't take you two arguing on top of everything else."

"Sorry, bad habit," Rosalie apologized. "Anyway, when they found out where he was, Edward went from a mess to worse."

"Ugh," added Alice, "He was so indecisive and then Jasper got involved..."

"They were trying to keep it from you."

Alice made a face. "I know. I caught them at it once, and yelled at them."

I was so frustrated by their casual tone. "So that's it? He feels bad, but went to kill him anyway and no one's going to stop him ?!?"

Two surprised faces stared at me.

"Bella, he didn't go to kill him," Alice explained gently. "They aren't sure what they are going to do, but I think mostly it's going to be a talk and threaten kind of thing."

Something inside me came unglued, and before I knew it, I was crying hysterically. "Why didn't he just tell me!" All the lies, all the upset, just so he could go and talk to Steven Hunter? It didn't make any sense and I wished that Edward had trusted me enough to discuss this with me. He had to stop treating me like a child.

I sighed and mopped myself up as Alice started talking again as though nothing had happened. "So Emmett found him, and Edward and Jasper were already thinking about paying him a visit – again, not to kill him. That promise meant a lot to Edward and I don't see him breaking it. I don't know much more than that – when Edward and Jasper work together, they are really good at keeping me out."

"Although, I think it's fine for someone to go and deal with the fucker," Rosalie added.

I looked at my hands.

"You're allowed to be angry about this. In fact, I think it's really weird that you haven't been."

"I am angry Rose.... I'm also hurt, upset, furious, and sad," I said, knowing that she wouldn't let this go unless I explained it. "I don't show anger like you do. I don't glare or shout or bang things. I cry when I'm angry, and I go off by myself. I'm not you, so let me deal with this in my own way."

I opened the car door. A cool hand shot out and grabbed my arm before I could get out of the car. "I'm sorry Bella. Don't storm off. Please?"

I stared at her. "I was just moving to let you drive. My eyes are too puffy."

Rosalie smiled, and switched seats.

Once we were on the road again, Alice handed me a cool blue gel face mask. "Here, if you leave this on til we get to the mall no one will know you were crying." I laughed as I put it on. I felt silly, but it was very soothing on my hot puffy skin. I laid back in my seat to relax and have a little nap for the rest of the ride.

******

I'd never been shopping with Rosalie and Alice together before. We went to a mall I'd never been in, where all the price tags made my heart race. The first time Alice handed me a pair of shoes that cost more than all my others shoes put together, I had to take a few deep breaths and remind myself that the Cullens had the money to spend. And since I would be joining that family officially in just a few weeks, I should just relax and enjoy myself.

Alice and Rose were expert shoppers. They walked into a store and Alice flagged down the salesperson she saw would be most helpful. Rosalie was very kind to all the salespeople, which was an interesting side of her to see.

My mood continued to shift as we shopped and they introduced me to their feel good shopping pattern, which was guaranteed to cheer me up. Buy shoes when you are angry, clothes when you're sad, makeup when you're happy and lingerie when you're feeling... well, you know.

I blushed the whole time we were in "Lily's Lingerie" but left with a few pieces that made me feel confident and beautiful.

We pulled up to Charlie's house late, and Alice helped me carry in the bags. Rosalie had promised to drive the Volvo back over once they got home.

After a quiet supper with Charlie I went upstairs to unpack my purchases. Staring around my room I sighed. I missed Edward. I missed him a lot.

It was a long night. The day after was long and lonely too.. Alice stayed for a while, but I'd bought a new book at the over priced mall and spent most of the day reading. I felt strangely isolated, and knew that only Edward could fill the gap.

After dinner I was antsy. I was almost worried that I was somehow addicted to Edward. My skin was itchy and I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and close my eyes. It was my safe place.

I was sitting in the living room with Charlie watching sports news when I finally decided. "Dad?"

"Yeah Bells?" he said, not taking his eyes off the TV.

"I... I think I might spend the night at the Cullen's. Since Edward is away with his brothers. Is that all right?" He didn't say anything for a second and my heart sank.

"Bella, you're 18 and getting married in three weeks. You don't have to ask my permission to do anything. I appreciate you telling me though."

I was so surprised that I didn't know what to say. I stood up and leaned over to hug him in his recliner. He patted me awkwardly. "Love you Bells. Have a good night."

Later that night as I fell asleep in the golden bed in Edward's room I could almost pretend he was in the bed with me. I was out in seconds.

_I'm crying but no one can hear me because HIS hand is over my mouth. The weight crushes me into the bed, and it feels like I can't breathe. I panic and then realize it's not real. I know I'm dreaming, and I want to get out of this. I want ..._

"Edward?" My voice was thick with sleep.

"I'm right here Bella." A cool hand brushed my cheek.

"I'm awake now." I opened my eyes. He was really there. He looked amused.

"I can see that."

"Didn't you wake me up?" I was confused.

"No, love. Did you have another nightmare?" His expression got serious, as though somehow he'd failed me.

"I did but – you really didn't wake me up?"

"I didn't know you were having a nightmare. I only just got home." He sounded bitter.

"That's – great!" I couldn't believe it. "I knew it was a dream. I wanted you. I woke myself up!" The pride in my voice would be embarrassing if I weren't so giddy about the fact that I conquered my nightmare.

It took him a second to figure out what I was talking about. His face lit up. "Bella, that's wonderful!" He kissed me cheek. I grabbed his ear, and stole an extra kiss. I sighed with happiness as he pulled away.

He laughed.

"You're home," I sighed, luxuriating in the feeling of being wrapped in his arms.

I knew that the moment couldn't last. We had to talk. I didn't want to bring it up, but knew that lies would only bring trouble into our relationship.

"Edward," I said softly, "Where have you been?"

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**I feel so cruel leaving it there. But you will just all have to wait until next time. Cross your fingers and hope that Edward is more cooperative than Bella was. Reviews inspire me! Let me know what you think!**


	14. What the Boys Did

**We should all be thankful for Canadian Thanksgiving - I spent four days at my inlaws and did almost nothing but write! I've got this one done, and have about 3/4 of the next one done!**

**This chapter is dedicated to the readers, who've been calling out for Steven Hunter's blood since chapter two. I hope you like this resolution.**

**I also need to put in a warning. My beta has informed me that this chapter has a very high creepy rating. I don't imagine many of the people who are really bothered by that are still reading, but just in case... creepy.**

**Thanks always to Jeannie for putting up with me when I'm being demanding and when I interupt twelve times in one phone conversation to tell you about this story.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

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**What the Boys Did**

**EPOV**

**Chapter 14**

"Edward," she asked, "where were you?"

I froze. She knew. She knew I'd gone to see Steven Hunter. What was I going to tell her?

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When we'd gotten off the plane in Philadelphia, it had been overcast and humid. It almost felt as though we'd never left Forks. Jasper and I tried our best to ignore the thousands of people (and their thoughts and feelings) while Emmett picked up our rental car. A Pontiac G5 – disappointingly slow, but common. No one would notice it, no matter where we parked.

I sat in the backseat while we drove towards the neighbourhood where Steven Hunter lived. My thoughts were spinning. What if he wasn't there? What if he was? What were we going to do if he was unrepentant? How far could we go without revealing ourselves? And worst of all, what if he did something which left us with no choice but to kill him?

Mixed with these worries were my thoughts of Bella. I worried that she would have nightmares without me, or that she would get into an accident. But more than that, I worried that she would realize where we had gone.

"Edward, enough!" growled Jasper from the front seat. "You're driving me crazy."

"Sorry," I muttered. "Do we have a plan?"

_Fuck you man, _thought Emmett, before he sighed loudly. "No, we don't have a plan. You two were so busy trying to keep things from Alice that we couldn't make any decisions. So we have no plan, which isn't going to work if we don't want to kill the guy."

"Well, Alice isn't here right now, and we don't have worry about her til we get home," Jasper said. _And it's me who'll be dealing with her anyway._

"So, should we plan something now?" I asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"I think we should spend a day observing before we do anything," Jasper began, his thoughts full of strategy. "Edward can listen to was he's thinking, and Emmett and I can look through his stuff and see what we can find."

"Okay," said Emmett, "What are we looking for?"

"Trophies taken from victims, journals, that kind of thing."

_What the? _"Won't the cops have already found all that stuff?"

_Let's hope they never investigate you!_ Jasper thought in exasperation before explaining, "They'd have taken everything they could find, but he's probably got stuff hidden away, if he has any."

_That makes sense, _thought Emmett. "So once we have proof…"

"We're going to talk to him about it," I put in.

_Talk? Really?_

"Talk, Emmett. And scare him. And make sure he realizes that if he ever looks sideways at a child again..."

"We'll kill him slow and painful," Emmett finished with a grin.

The rest of the drive was quiet. We were all lost in our own thoughts – mostly of our partners and their reactions to this little side trip.

Emmett was pretty sure Rosalie would be disgusted that we hadn't killed Steven Hunter. Jasper was sure that Alice would approve of our actions, but be vocal about how the whole family should have been involved, and that there should have been more planning. I was torn between my joy at having a partner to think about and my dread of telling Bella I had lied to her. She was going to be upset. I knew that she considered this her choice to make, but how did you look at the woman you loved and tell her she was making the wrong decision?

A wave of artificial calm swept over me as we drove into a neighbourhood. The dark made little difference to my eyes as I looked around. The houses were small but well cared, the cars used but running and the yards clean and tidy. And at almost every house there were signs of children. Bicycles, wagons, sprinklers, chalk drawings, skipping ropes... they were everywhere.

It made me furious to think that Steven Hunter had been living among them and could have been victimizing any of the children now sleeping in these homes. I had to stop myself from scanning their dreams as we passed by, looking for nightmares like those that troubled Bella.

When we arrived in front of 42 Parkway Dr. the lights were off. Steven Hunter was asleep. I looked at the clock – 10:30 pm. I found his thoughts. He wasn't deep enough asleep for proper dreams yet. Random images flashed through his mind. Mixed in with cars and computers and street signs were children's faces.

I sighed and pulled back, knowing that I wouldn't be able to stop myself from running in and killing him if Bella's face flashed through his mind. We discussed it quickly. There wasn't much we could do while he slept, so we drove away, and found a motel for the night – somewhere to wash, and watch TV. I couldn't relax, but Emmett did, and so did Jasper to a lesser extent.

We headed back wordlessly at dawn, arriving just in time for me to hear Hunter's thoughts as he woke and headed to his computer. He filled his days on house arrest with On-line gambling.

We got out of the car and moved towards the house. The front door was heavily bolted, so we quickly ran around to the back. A sliding glass door was the perfect entry point. Jasper spent part of 1957 learning to pick locks and it only took a second to pop the lock on the cheap door.

I took a deep breath as we entered the house. Steven Hunter's scent filled my nostrils. Part of my mind became occupied with memorizing it, in case he ever escaped and I was forced to hunt him down. The rest noted that subtle hint of something I remembered from my days hunting down murderers and rapists. There is a distinctive smell to those who prey on others.

Once inside the house we began following scent rails. He seemed to spend most of his time gravitating between his bedroom and the computer. The house was a mess – full of boxes and magazines, newspapers and trash bags. He appeared to eat a lot of Chinese food take out.

We began our search – quietly.

It was an unbelievable amount of stuff to sift through, even with our advantages. Over the course of the day a pattern developed. We would bump something, put something down too heavily and Hunter would come to investigate while we hid.

By the third time, he was getting scared, and we were enjoying the game. Jasper smiled at me in the closet where we were hiding.

"Watch this," he said, too low for human ears. At once, Hunter's heart rate accelerated and I could hear his hand shake as he twisted the door knob of the room our closet was in. I moved just slightly, so that I could see through the crack of the cheap closet door. He peeked into the tiny bedroom, his knees almost knocking with fear.

Jasper's grin widened and Hunter's whole body went stiff. His face went red and he began to mutter under his breath as Jasper turned his fear to anger.

"Stupid kids! Bet they broke in just to see the jailbird!" _Stupid boys! _His thoughts continued, _Why do they need to pull stunts like this? Girls don't. Girls are so much quieter!_

I raised an eyebrow at this thought, but Jasper dissipated his anger and he broke off his thought and returned to the computer. Once he'd taken his seat at the computer again, Jasper spiked his fear again. Twenty minutes later he came back up the stairs, heart racing, knees shaking.

Steven Hunter had just paid the delivery man for his dinner when Emmett found it. 'It' was a beautiful jewellery box covered in Asian lacquer and mother-of-pearl. It was covered in Hunter's scent; he handled it often. Inside were love letters. From Steven Hunter to his victims.

"Look at this!" Emmett said in disgust, riffling through them. "Jessica, Amber, Joy, Michelle, Olivia, Tammy, Lucy, Bella,"

He'd said the last name without thinking, and I snatched it from him before he could react.

It read,

_Dearest Bella,_

_I crave your soft skin like an addict craves drugs. Your deep brown eyes suck me in. They are so beautifully expressive – I can read them like a book. They tell me that you love me everyday._

_When we were at the restaurant last night, I felt your foot on my leg. You are so naughty. I know you were telling me that you feel the same way I do. I adore all the silent ways you find to tell me that you want me._

_I want you too. Always._

_Steven_

A tidal wave of artificial calm swept me under as I struggled to get myself under control. I wasn't aware of anything until much later as Jasper and Emmett smuggled me out of the house. When I came back to myself, we were in the car. Jasper was driving, and Emmett and I were in the backseat.

"You're back?" Jasper asked, sensing my anger receding. I look at the clock in the rental car. It was 6 pm – 30 minutes had passed.

"Yes," I answered. "Where are we?"

'Driving around Hunter's neighbourhood," said Emmett. _Sorry about that man. If I'd had any idea..._

"Don't Emmett," I cut him off. "I know it was an accident, but please; don't even think about it."

_Got it._

We pulled up in front of Hunter's house again.

"What's going on?" I asked, noticing a car in the driveway.

"Not sure," said Jasper. "We've driven by a couple of times, but only heard snippets. Being near by didn't help you any, and it's hard to hear from the car, even with the windows open."

"We think it's his lawyer," Emmett explained.

"Whoever it is, Hunter's feels nothing but contempt for him. And whoever it is feels disgusted by Hunter."

We got out of the car and hid in the bushes under Hunter's open window. I focused in on the conversation inside the house. "..best bet is to accept the plea. The alleged victims get a public apology and you spend less time in prison," said the man we assumed was Hunter's lawyer. Through the lawyer's eyes, Hunter screwed up his face.

"I really don't like the idea of pleading guilty to something I didn't do."

_You really don't like the idea of what happens to child molesters in jail, you sicko._

"I realize that, Mr. Hunter, but it's my job as your legal representative to present you with what I think is your best choice. The plea will mean significantly less jail time for you, for a few seconds spent apologizing."

_That's just great, _thought Hunter. _My legal advisor has given up on me. What a crappy lawyer. I wish I had the money for a real lawyer. A real lawyer would have made sure I got off! A real lawyer would make them understand that I never hurt anyone!_

The lawyer was almost laughing at Hunter's stubborn insistence. _What the hell do I care? Don't take the plea. Spend as long as you like in prison being someone's girlfriend._

"Obviously it's your choice, but continuing through the sentencing while maintaining your innocence is not likely to be in your best interest."

The lawyer continued to talk for the next few hours, explaining the procedures of the sentencing and getting Hunter's signature on forms. I was so absorbed by the back and forth between the two men inside that I jumped when Emmett whispered, "Cops!"

We ran back to the car, Jasper put it in gear and pulled away at a reasonable pace. The police did not follow us, and we all relaxed. I filled the others in on what had been happening with Hunter and his lawyer.

"So, when we go back...?" Emmett asked.

"We grab him and let him know who we are and why we're here," Jasper said.

"We're going to freak him out first though, right?"

I frowned at Emmett. "What do you mean, 'freak him out'?"

Emmett grinned. "Well, we've already got him on edge; it shouldn't be too hard to tip him into a panic, even without Jasper meddling with him."

"A little game of cat and mouse would go a long way to making sure he knows we're serious," Jasper added with a smile. _C'mon Edward, we've all earned the right to scare the guy... even you. It'll make our 'talk' more enjoyable this way._

They had a point. I nodded and Emmett let out a whoop. When we drove past Hunter's house a few minutes later, we realized that the police car we'd seen earlier was parked in his driveway. The officers were walking back to the car. The taller was was thinking:

_Good thing he stays there. Gives me the creeps having to check on him in this neighbourhood; too many kids. I'd hate to have to start searching if he went missing. I'm glad he's sticking with his house arrest, and can't wait til he goes to prison!_

"They're checking that Hunter is obeying the conditions of his house arrest. Drive around the block again, and they'll be gone."

It was dark and quiet when we came back. Hunter was asleep, his dreams full of things that go bump in the night.

"He's scared in his sleep!" Jasper crowed.

"He's not scared enough," said Emmett with an evil grin. "Let's get him more scared."

"Wait! Do we have a plan?" I asked.

Emmett shrugged. "We can spend a while playing 'make a noise and run' until it gets boring, then we'll grab him a tie him to a chair."

"Why are we tying him to a chair?" asked Jasper, picturing it.

Emmett shrugged again. _Just because _"It seems like a good idea?"

Jasper snorted. "Whatever. Sounds good."

We crept into the house. Emmett headed straight the bedroom. "Check it out!" he said softly. He took a piece of paper from a stack in the hall, balled it up and threw it into Hunter's room. It skimmed the tip of his nose as it crossed the bed. We ran and hid, and listened to Hunter roll over in bed. I watched through his eyes as his eyes flew open, and heard his heart started to thump loudly as he thought _What was that?_ He sat up for a minute listening before he lay back down to sleep.

I followed Jasper as he opened the window of the room next to Hunter's bedroom and climbed until he was holding the ledge of Hunter's window, and then knocked on the window three or four times. I heard Hunter jump up to investigate and Jasper let go; dropping to the ground a story below and ran around to the back door to let himself back in. I watched through Hunter's eyes as he ran to the window and pulled up the blinds but saw nothing. He went back to bed.

We kept it up for a couple of hours. We knocked on walls and windows. We banged pots and pans. We moved things. Emmett put Hunter's dining table in the living room, before deciding that he should take up being a ghost professionally.

Hunter, after being woken for the third time, was almost incoherent with fear; his thoughts a garbled mess of conspiracy theories. He chased us from room to room. We occasionally went quiet, and he would return to bed while Jasper increased his fear until he was almost panicking and then calming him all at once. He would decide, in the calm, that he'd just been imagining things, and we could start over.

By 1am I was done. Jasper looked at me, sensing my resolve. _It's time?_ I nodded.

Emmett looked at us, _It's go time?_ I nodded again and he and grinned. He picked up some computer cables. _I couldn't find any rope._

Hunter was standing with his back to the hallway, staring into the room where we'd found his jewellery box. _I could've sworn I heard it in here. Can't be kids, moves too fast!_

I carefully grabbed his arms from behind. I covered his mouth as he screamed with a certain amount of satisfaction. He went limp in my arms and I carried him downstairs and set him in the chair Emmett and Jasper had prepared. Emmett tied him to the chair with the computer cables.

_What the hell! _He exclaimed mentally. _I'm being robbed! I need to call 9-1-1!_

I laughed out loud at the idea of the police rushing over to help him. "I don't think that the police would hurry here Steven Hunter."

His expression changed from terrified to suspicious. _How do you know who I am? And what I was thinking?_

"I know all kinds of things," I said, as Jasper handed me the bundle of letters. I tried very hard not to look at them as I waved them in Hunter's face. "I know that you like to pick on little girls. I know that you make them cry."

"Yeah, does that feel like a big man?" Emmett jumped in, "Forcing yourself on little girls who are too young to say no?"

Hunter's eyes narrowed. _What does he mean?_ "I never forced myself on anyone! Those girls wanted me. They were all very mature! We knew no one would understand – they've been warped into thinking it was something bad. It was beautiful!"

It was the dumbest thing he could have said. Emmett and Jasper both saw red, while I was shaking off Hunter's mental images. Jasper lunged forward, and in that moment, I heard Bella's voice in my head. "I can't let this change everything. I won't let HIM change everything."

I had to stop my brothers.

It wasn't easy. I managed to get between Hunter and my brothers at the last possible second, and tried to get them to back off. Jasper was radiating fury and I had to fight off my reflected anger as well. Bella's words echoed in my head over and over.

I faked moving left and then moved right to push Emmett backwards, and heard his mental voice realize what had happened as his thoughts returned to normal. I tried to do the same to Jasper, but didn't notice that he'd grabbed Hunter's hand. I pried his hand off as he flew across the room, but not before we all heard the crack of Hunter's wrist breaking.

His scream brought Jasper back to his senses. Tears of pain streamed down Hunter's face. Emmett and Jasper were both mentally telling me how sorry they were. Hunter's thoughts were so full of self pity that I didn't hear his doubts coming. "What are you?" he choked out. "You sure as hell aren't human." _It's you that've been torturing me._

"No, we're not human," said Jasper, pulling himself away from his regrets. "And we're here to tell you that you are never going to touch another child – ever."

_Are they angels? _Hunter wondered.

"We mean it Hunter," Emmett growled, the bass vibrating in the room.

_Nah – couldn't be._ He nodded at Emmett, eyes wide.

"We're here on behalf of Bella Swan," Jasper began. I tried to stop him before he could say the words, knowing what would come next.

_Bella Swan?_ Hunter thought, confused. Then he remembered and his thoughts were full of memories of little Bella. Dressed up and going out to dinner; laughing and holding a doll; and in a small white bed, tearful eyes wide over a heavy male hand while the other hand crept up her leg.

Just as the anguish seem to be too much, just as it seemed like I would be forced to watch him molest Bella, something changed. The memory changed, warped. There were cowboys on the bedspread, and it was a younger version of Steven crying in fear. A man who looked much like the adult Steven Hunter was in the bed with him.

Hunter was as trapped in the memory as I was, and began to cry out. "No Daddy! No! Don't!"

I finally pulled out of his thoughts and jumped to Jasper's.

_...sorry Edward. That was so stupid of me._

"S'all right," I said hoarsely, staring at the terrified man in front of me. "We can't hurt him anyway. I promised Bella. Anyway, he's just passing along what his father did to him." I barely registered the shock on Hunter's face before continuing. "We're going to let you go, Hunter. I'll even set your arm for you before we go. But if I EVER hear that you've come within ten feet of a child for any reason, we will kill you. You know we can."

He nodded, imagining us ripping him apart with fiery swords.

"Let's pack up and go," I said. Jasper dug around in the kitchen until he found an ACE bandage and I splinted Hunter's arm with a couple of chopsticks. We even put the table back in the dining room before we left.

We didn't speak again until we were driving away.

Emmett leaned forward from the backseat. "Did he think about..." _Bella?_

"Yes Emmett, he did. I don't want to think about it."

_Sorry man, that sucks. Are you okay with how that went down?_

I nodded. It hadn't been the perfect revenge I'd wanted, but somehow it felt better knowing that Hunter was only a human with a bad past. The burning inside me was gone, replaced with fear of Bella's reaction.

Jasper sensed my change of mood, and changed the subject. "We should hunt before we go home. Do you want to try here, or in Washington?"

"Better game in Washington," Emmett said immediately.

"Washington," I said. I wanted to be closer to Bella, even if she didn't know it.

*********

I stared at Bella. And decided.

I told her everything we'd done. Every lie, every plan, everything. I told her about the letter, but not what was in it. I told her about breaking Hunter's wrist. I told her about his past. I told her how he'd left him.

And I waited to see how the most important person in my life would judge me.

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**So... what did you think? (I'm really nervous...) Just one more chapter and an epilogue. **


	15. How Bella Moved Forward

**Hello all! Here it is, the last chapter. There will be an epilogue to follow.**

**Thanks to all my reviewers, I'm sorry I was fail at getting the teasers out, but I figured you'd prefer a chapter to a teaser. All who reviewed last chapter will get a teaser to the epilogue.**

**Thanks always to Jeannie for moral support and grammer know-how. This story wouldn't have been the same without you!**

**I do not own Twilight.  
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**How Bella Moved Forward**

**Ch. 15**

**BPOV**

I sat in silence as Edward confessed everything. I'd known he'd done it, that he'd gone to see Steven Hunter, but it was still shocking to hear about it.

We sat together when he finished talking, letting the silence build.

"Bella, love, do you think you'll be able to forgive me?" He stared intently at the floor, too nervous to look me in the eye.

I sighed. "Edward, of course I'll be able to forgive you. I'm upset, but it's not about the fact that you left, or what you did while you were gone. Actually," I blushed, "I'm glad you did it. I like that he has a broken wrist too."

"You're not angry?" He looked up, hope growing in his eyes.

"I'm furious," I admitted. "But I'm mad about the fact that you couldn't treat me as an equal. I'm mad that you didn't discuss this with me."

His expression dropped. "Oh."

I kept going, "I know that you were raised in a different time, but I don't think that's an excuse. Carlisle and Jasper are both older than you, and they would never treat their wives this way!"

His shoulders slumped and part of me wanted to stop, to tell him that it didn't matter, just like I did every time we had this conversation. But a larger part of me knew that if I didn't say something now, I never would.

"You've begged and pleaded to get me to agree to marry you, but if we can't talk to each other, if we don't act like a team, then we are doomed to failure. And that scares the hell out of me. That's what did Renée and Charlie in; they could have worked out personality differences but she didn't tell him how miserable she was, and he didn't ask. When it got to be too much, she just up and left." I was panting; frantic to get this out before I broke down.

"When you do this, when you leave me out of important decisions, it makes me feel stupid and weak. It makes me wonder what you see in me. What kind of marriage is that? If you weren't happy with my decision, you should have talked to me about it." I couldn't speak anymore. Tears trailed down my face.

Edward gently took my hands in his. "Bella, I love you. And I'm so sorry. You're right. I should have come to you when I couldn't let it go. It was me that was stupid. I was so scared that you wouldn't agree, that I lied to myself. I told myself that you couldn't handle discussing it, but I know that was a lie."

He pulled me gently into his shoulder and let me sob. I was so glad to know that he knew he'd been wrong; my tears were a relief.

"I swear Bella; I swear I will never keep something this important from you again. I swear I will trust you to be my partner, to make decisions as a team."

I giggled through my tears, my relief a bubble inside of me. "Can you make that part of your wedding vows please?"

He smiled. "I will do whatever you want."

I frowned at him. "I don't want you to be a doormat though. I want a partner – the kind that comes with opinions." I kissed him. "I want to have arguments," kiss "and fights," kiss "and fantastic make up sex." Another kiss, this one lasted much longer. I pulled back. Edward's eyes were shining as his hands trailed up and down my back.

"Don't let me stop you," he said with a mischievous glint in his eye. "I'm very interested in what other plans you have for us."

I looked back, careful not to breathe him in. "Well," I said, drawing it out, "I might want to lick here." I drew my tongue up the side of his neck before sucking on his ear. He groaned.

"And then I might do this." I trailed my hands up his chest, then back down to the hem of his shirt and underneath.

Edward sucked in his breath as my hands moved steadily up his cool skin to his chest. I traced the outline of his chest muscles and skimmed my fingers down his side. "Will I be able to tickle you later?" I asked softly, "When I'm like you?"

"I don't know," he said in a breathy voice.

"Hmm," I said, before kissing him again. His hands began to move lower and lower each time he ran them down my back until they cupped my ass. I moved closer to him, straddling his lap and pressing my chest against his.

I pulled back for just a moment, checking that he was still okay with what we were doing. He smiled nervously, and pulled me back in for another kiss.

I put my hands on either side of his head as his hands slid up my side. I yanked my arms impatiently out of my shirt and broke the kiss only long enough to pull it over my head. It was beautiful, and even though I was nervous and felt a little silly, I knew that Edward felt silly and nervous too, so it didn't matter.

I leaned back as Edward cradled my head until he lay on top of me. I moaned as he caressed me. He pulled back this time, checking on me the same way I'd done for him. I answered by pulling him in tight against me and we both moaned at the close contact. He settled between my legs, and we moved together, until pleasure swept us both away.

Sometime later, cleaned up and laying cuddled together in the bed, I heard Edward sigh.

"What's wrong?" I asked, worried that he regretted what we'd just done.

"I was just thinking about... my trip," he said.

"Oh." At least he wasn't having regrets.

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

I shook my head. "No. I always want to know what's on your mind."

He nodded. "I was just thinking how futile it is to be angry with Steven Hunter. He was wrong, and he was deluded, but he was warped early on by his father. And if I'm angry at him, I have to be angry at his father as well. And if I'm angry at his father, I have to realize that the same thing likely happened to him."

"I was glad to find out about that," I said in the dark. "It's scarier to me to think that he's some kind of random monster. I feel more in control of the situation this way. It happened to him too, and he decided to do it to others, but I can decide to do something else. It stops here. I'm not going to let it own me. I'm not going to let it hurt anybody else through me."

Edward kissed my cheek. "You should sleep; it's very late."

"I love you. And I can sleep-in tomorrow. Tell Alice to leave me alone when she tries to wake me in the morning."

He laughed softly. "I will. I love you too, Bella."

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

"You'll be here when I wake up? You won't leave me?" I asked, voicing my fear as I drifted off.

"Never. Never ever. Wild horses couldn't drag me away," he replied instantly, touching my face.

"Good." I yawned. "Night."

"Sleep well, Bella."

*********************

A few days later, Edward drove me back to the hospital. We sat through the wait to have x-rays done and then shuffled obediently off to a different waiting room to be given the results.

My feet bounced while I sat in the uncomfortable chair. Edward smiled. "Nervous?"

I shook my head. "I just really want this off," I said, gesturing to my cast.

"Is it that uncomfortable?" he asked, his eyebrows drawing together in concern.

I shook my head again. "No, although it's awkward and in the way. But that's not why I want to get rid of it."

"Oh?"

I felt the blush rise up my cheeks. "It's hard to explain," I said, squirming with embarrassment. "It's just... I've had this on through most of the really bad stuff that's happened lately. All the nightmares, all the confusion, Renée's visit, and while you were away. Getting rid of it feels like the end of all of this; that I'll be able to put it in the past and move on now."

The arm around my shoulders tightened slightly. "I feel the same. And I always feel better when I know that you are well and whole."

I smiled at him. His eyes twinkled with laughter. "Plus, I'm looking forward to the wedding."

I laughed and looked around as a nurse called my name. We moved again, this time to an exam room.

"The doctor will be here in a second," Edward said quietly, "He's reviewing your chart." He sighed, looked at me, and hesitated. He said, "He's worried that you're being abused. But he's not going to do anything about it, out of respect for Carlisle and Dr. Connor."

I sighed too. I was sad and upset about the doctor's conclusions, but even sadder that he wasn't going to say anything. "Thanks for telling me. I know you don't want me to think about this kind of thing."

"I'm never lying again. Even though it's really hard sometimes."

I looked at him, and was about to say something when the door opened.

"Isabella?" the doctor asked. I nodded. "My name is Dr. Mendez," he said, putting down my chart and looking up at me.

I mumbled "nice to meet you," but my heart wasn't in it when I saw the look he gave Edward.

He stuck the x-rays up on the lighted screen. "There, you can see the break. It looks like it's mending well. Has it been bothering you at all?" I shook my head. "Any pain?" Another shake. "Well, I think, in light of all that, we should be able to remove the cast today."

I smiled; it was such a relief. Edward gave a small smile too, but I could see that it was fake. I wondered what else the doctor was thinking.

I'd missed what else the doctor said, and looked at Edward when I realized that the doctor was gone. "He went to get the saw," he explained.

Dr. Mendez was back a second later, plaster saw in hand. It only took a minute and then my arm was free. It was shrivelled and skinny and the hair on my arm looked weirdly dark. It always surprised me how much my body could change inside a cast.

"There," he said, as he pulled away the pieces. He probed and prodded, reminding me not to pull off the bits of dead skin that had built up under the cast.

He turned on the water in the exam room sink and I washed my arm as well as I could with paper towel and hospital grade antibacterial soap. "Thank you," I said when I was done. I went to stand beside Edward, who looked like he may become the first vampire to vomit. Dr. Mendez' inner monologue was apparently not very pleasant.

"My pleasure, my dear. Now, I noticed in your chart that you have some broken ribs as well?"

I nodded. "I'm having them looked at tomorrow," I said, wincing at the thought. I'd been very good, and they weren't sore anymore. I was pretty sure I'd get the go ahead for the wedding.

"Good good. And of course, you seem to have extensive experience with broken limbs, so you know that you should avoid strenuous activity for another 6 weeks?"

I nodded again.

Dr. Mendez nodded at the ring on my finger. "Ah! I'd forgotten. You two are due to be married soon. And you're so young!" He left it at that as he led us out of the room.

While we walked through the busy clinic, I watched Edward. I noticed things I'd never paid attention to before. In a big crowd like this, he hunched his shoulders more, and his expression was fixed. He stared straight ahead, trying to ignore the hundreds of mental voices in his range. Add in some unfounded accusations from the doctor and he was having a very bad moment. His gift didn't seem much like a gift right now.

I didn't listen much to the nurse as we checked out. I'd always believed that Edward was too perfect for me, even when evidence suggested otherwise. As he stood there, listening to Dr. Mendez, my perception began to change. He looked more like a very mature seventeen year old boy, and a lot less like a marble god.

I knew it was impossible, but it was as though he were an angel come to earth, who'd fought a long hard fight. A beaten up angel who needed me. Just as much as I needed him. Or maybe he was just a boy who had come close to losing someone he loved and was under a lot of stress. Either way, we needed each other.

Once Dr. Mendez let us go, we walked hand-in-hand towards the exit. A grin spread across my face as the door came into view. I'd never felt like this before; never been so secure in Edward. He was mine. Forever.

Just outside the doors, I threw myself at Edward, thrilling when I felt his strong arms catch me. We kissed. "What was that for?" he asked, setting me gently back on my feet. We continued walking.

"I love you."

"I love you too," he said, his expression brightening as we got further from the hospital. We got into the car and began to drive.

"It's hard for you in a busy place like that, isn't it?" I asked.

He hesitated for second, and I knew he was fighting the urge to lie to me, to brush it off. "Somewhat. I always find it stressful at the hospital, between the blood and the thoughts."

I smiled, appreciating that it was hard for him to confess this 'weakness' to me and happy that he hadn't lied. "Thank you for coming with me then. I really appreciate it."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else," he said, frowning. He ground his jaw before continuing. "It's not usually this bad though."

"Because of Dr. Mendez?" I asked softly, hoping that we could talk through Dr. Mendez's thoughts and how they bothered him. I didn't want him to brood on it alone.

He nodded, gripping the wheel of the Ferrari just a shade too tight. It creaked and he let it go. "I don't know what was worse. That he thinks I beat you, and spent most of the visit trying to figure out exactly how I caused your injuries in Phoenix, or that he decided that even if I had, he wouldn't embarrass Carlisle by saying anything."

I was horrified. It was bad enough to know that Edward didn't have to imagine how I'd been hurt in Phoenix; he'd seen the tape James had made. But to know that even if I had been an abuse victim, even if Edward had hurt me, I wouldn't have gotten any help at the hospital... it was awful.

"That's terrible!" I said. "Both things really. I hate that anyone could ever think that about you. But if he did think it, then the fact that he didn't say anything is ... scary."

"To be fair," said Edward, shaking his head, "he wasn't sure. He had a hard time thinking it was possible when he saw us together."

"Still," I said softly, "I think he should try to help, even if he's not sure. It's better to be wrong than to leave someone like that." Edward looked at me, and then back to the road. He didn't say anything, but reached out to pat my leg.

I didn't dwell on the upsetting incident though. I shook it off and poked at Edward's IPod until I found my playlist. Taylor Swift's "Love Story" started to play. I sang along and danced in my seat. Edward made faces and said my musical taste was 'immature' and we both laughed.

We had a little over a week to the wedding and we were laughing.

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**So that's it. The epilogue should be along shortly, and I would dearly love to know what you think of this end!**


	16. Epilogue: What Else Alice Saw

**And this is it!**

**Thanks to all who've reviewed, and all who've lurked - suppose after 15 chapters I can stop wondering if you liked it.**

**Eternal thanks to Jeannie, because this journey wouldn't have happened without you!**

**I do not own Twilight.**

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**What Else Alice Saw**

**APOV**

**Epilogue**

I sat at the dining room table with my scrapbooking supplies spread out around me. I was digging through the prints from Edward and Bella's wedding, looking for the photo I'd seen on the page I was working on in a vision.

It had been six months since the wedding, and only a little more than that since Bella's change. She was coping well with her newborn year, but her human memories were fading. She remembered the essentials of course, but little things were disappearing. She was embarrassed by it, and had been covering it up.

We hadn't really noticed until Emmett tried to trip her "for old time's sake" and she hadn't understood why it was funny. I'd started making this scrapbook that night. I was adding as many photos as I could find – though there weren't many of Edward and Bella's early relationship, and I'd had a hard time getting photos of her childhood – and filling in with stories and memories of my own. Edward was 'in' on the secret and had filled in several pages of his own.

I'd just found the picture I was looking for when the vision hit:

_Edward and Bella running, racing after a hunt. Bella wins by a nose and laughs. Edward pounces and they roll down the hill. At the bottom Bella frowns. "Can I ask you something?"_

"_Always, love," he answers, picking a fallen leaf from her hair. _

"_Before, was I upset about Renée? And something about foster care?"_

_He frowns, and takes a deep breath. "Yes, love." And he tells her the whole story. He doesn't go into more detail than necessary, but leaves nothing out; the dreams, the car accident, the stories from her parents, Renée's idiocy and his own lies and regrets._

_She listens quietly, impassively to this story of her past. He does not focus on how upset she was at the time, but she knows him too well not to see how much it distresses him. _

"_I was sad about it," she says when he's done, "and that hurts you. I'm sorry."_

_He pulls her close, shoulders shaking in silent sobs. She tightens her arms around him, squeezing him carefully, treating him as gently as he once treated her. _

"_You shouldn't apologize for needing me," he says eventually, his breathing slowing to a regular rhythm._

"_I didn't. I apologized because you are still hurting, and I don't remember it at all. I hate that you are all alone with it."_

_He looks at her, unbelieving for a second. "You don't remember it. Not at all?" he asks, his tone hopeful. _

"_No, nothing. I don't care; it sounds horrible, and I don't want to remember it. I just wish I could steal the memory away from you too."_

_He clasps her hands in his. "I don't mind. I would never wish away one day with you. What you forget, I will remember. We're a partnership."_

_They kiss..._

I jumped as the vision faded and I realized that Jasper was holding my hand.

"That was intense. Anything interesting?" he asked, smiling as though he weren't concerned.

I sighed. "Bella is going to remember bits of the whole Steven Hunter incident. Edward is going to tell her everything."

He shrugged. "As long as he answers her questions honestly they'll be fine."

"Really?" I asked. "I'm kind of sad about it. I was hoping that Bella wouldn't have to hear about it in this life; that she could leave it behind her. She's going to be fine. She doesn't remember it. But I still feel like it's going to hurt her somehow. I wish she could just ignore it."

Jasper shook his head. "She can't do that. He can't do that, or they'll be right back to where they were before. They're happier when they're honest, trust me."

I nodded, and picked up the photo I'd been searching for and began to carefully add glue to the back.

"Alice, I'd do the same for you. And you'd want me to, you know you would. What kind of relationship would we have if we weren't honest with each other?"

I shrugged. I knew he was right. I did. I just didn't like it.

"Do you regret it then?" he asked in a low voice. "Do you regret finding out where you came from?"

"No! No, of course not." I sighed. "Anything is better than not knowing, but it doesn't make bad things any less terrible."

I stood up and started tidying up my crafting supplies. I didn't feel like working on the scrapbook anymore today.

"What's got you so worked up, little one?" Jasper's pet name for me slipped out.

I stomped my foot in frustration. "I just hate having to wait for things to happen. I don't want Bella to have to hear this story again."

He came to stand behind me and wrapped his arms around me. "You always do like to skip to the happily ever afters," he said, as I felt his calm wash over me. "And I know it must be frustrating to watch people you love struggle around in the middle of a situation when you can see the way clear to the end, but," he bent to kiss my ear, "the journey is important too."

Emotion swelled in my chest as I turned to look up at him, wondering if that applied to us and our relationship as well.

"Why so full of doubt?" he said with a smile. "Every step I took alone was a step down a path that led to you. And it was worth it, every bit."

I leaned back into Jasper's chest, returning the embrace. "Me too," I said. "I loved you before I ever knew you, and I every day I waited was worth it."

We both looked up as we heard footsteps on the lawn outside. I cursed to myself. I would have had the vision as soon as Bella decided to ask Edward. They'd already talked and now they were back.

"They're fine, happy and content," Jasper whispered in my ear as they got closer to the house.

We whizzed through the rest of the tidy up, (I wanted the scrapbook to be a surprise) and had just finished when the newlyweds opened the door.

Looking at them framed in the doorway, another vision hit. _Edward and Bella, framed by a different door, on that looked into a much different world. A very futuristic world._

I blinked as the vision receded. It was by far the biggest time jump I'd ever seen, but it wasn't unsettling. In fact it was rather comforting to know that for some people, sometimes love really could conquer all.

The future had never looked brighter.

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**And that's all she wrote. There will be no sequel. Add me to Author Alert if you'd like to know when I start my next project, a series of one-shots set between Twilight and New Moon.**

**Love you all!  
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